Posted on 11/10/2004 10:42:14 AM PST by mattdono
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh .... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ....?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different
"Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"
I'm gonna have to remember that one.
Two from Blazing Saddles:
You use your mouth purtier'n a twenty-dollar whore.
Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage that is little seen in this day and age.
LOL PING!
LOL PING!
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug
My goodness, don't we have an exaggerated sense of our own importance.
ROFL!
I love that one.
i think you've just summed the most of the internet up.
So, you're a feminist. Isn't that just the cutest little ol' thang?
LOL
Don't know if you've seen this one yet.
#39??
"Hm? I'm sorry dear, I didn't hear a word you said. I was staring at your cleavage."
Yeah, I've seen it but what I have in mind for the work crowd is much more colorful than any of these. But we do have one of those PC HR depts that would frown on that sort of thing.
How about, "The camera adds 10 pounds, looks like they had 10 cameras on you."
I have this one bookmarked for my troll threads..My favorite?
"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."
I gotta remember that one!! LOL!!
A sharp tongue does not mean that you have a sharp mind.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Brains aren't everything, in fact in your case they're nothing.
Don't let your mind wander - it's far too little to be let out on its own.
He always finds himself lost in thought -it's an unfamiliar territory.
He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'... but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works!
I don't think you are a fool. But what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe somebody will adopt you.
I would ask you how old you are, but I reckon you can't count that high.
I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, you,re practically invulnerable.
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd still be absolutely stupid.
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
She has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like this guy just gargled.
What you is lacking in intelligence, you more than makes up for in stupidity.
Whom am I calling 'stupid'? Good question. I don't know. What is your name?
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