Posted on 11/06/2004 6:15:21 PM PST by Dubya
For die-hard Democrat Theresa Hudgins, who is surrounded by Republicans at work and at home, the doldrums took hold on election night and haven't let go.
"I was just bawling," said Hudgins, a Grapevine hairstylist. "Everyone is so happy -- my husband's got a real spring in his step because Bush won -- but I'm just really sad. It's going to be a very long four years."
While many were elated with the election results, others like Hudgins are experiencing post-election depression.
Although it's too soon to diagnose this phenomenon as clinical depression, plenty of folks who pinned their hopes on John Kerry are singing the blues.
The election returns made Mike McClure of Fort Worth physically sick.
"Wednesday I had a stomachache," he said. "It's more than mental -- it's a physical drag on me."
This was a fiery election year overflowing with often-contemptuous talk about morals, religious faith and family values.
Some people really are depressed, and their reaction goes way beyond politics, said Mary Lynn Crow, a Fort Worth psychologist.
"The issues and ideas that motivated voters this year are very personal and very deep," she said. "Now you've stepped into people's personal value systems."
Living in Bush country hasn't made it any easier for Kerry supporters.
"The victors always feel differently than the vanquished," said Jim Quick, professor of organizational behavior at the University of Texas at Arlington. "But we as Americans have a strong history of reaching out to those who have been defeated."
Hudgins said she would like to have a shoulder to cry on but does not dare share her disappointment with her pro-Bush pals.
"I don't know how I'll cope," she said. "You know you need to talk about it, but you don't want to talk about it when everyone else is so happy about Bush."
Democrats in offices filled with Republicans don't have an opportunity to commiserate, said Michael Katovich, professor of sociology at Texas Christian University.
"It's easier when they are in an environment where other people have the same expectations and can heal together," he said.
But in some offices and homes, people have to keep their feelings to themselves and just deal with it. That can be tough, especially for those coping with an unanticipated loss, Katovich said.
In this case, it appeared that Kerry had an opportunity to win; it looked like the election would be close, that he might squeak by, he said.
"It was different from Reagan years when the Democrat would lose by a landslide and people had already pre-rationalized the defeat," he said. "This was a loss that may have been unexpected even the day of the election, and that might contribute to the gloominess."
Now people have to come up with some other rationalization for what happened, he said.
McClure tried that.
"For a split second I told myself, 'Okay, I do love my country, and I don't want to work against the grain,' " he said.
"I listened to the victory speech and the press conference, but in the end I decided, 'Nah, this isn't going to work.' "
While some people might truly think they're depressed over the election, in most cases they're really just disappointed, said Robin Jarrett, professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas.
"The election was just Tuesday, and in order to have a diagnosis of depression, it has to last two weeks or more and be associated with functional impairment," she said.
Disappointment, on the other hand, is a part of life.
"We all have disappointments and are exposed to situations that cause grief and sadness," she said. "Like the Rolling Stones said, 'You can't always get what you want.' "
To feel down after the election is appropriate, Quick said.
"To feel hopeless is not," he said.
If that feeling of hopelessness lags on for weeks and is associated with other symptoms of depression, the person should seek professional help, experts say.
But for most people, agreeing to disagree might be the best approach.
"If you think that you have to agree with people on everything, then you won't have a relationship unless it's with a clone," Crow said. "People have to decide to reach across party lines if they want to have any kind of relationship at all."
IN THE KNOW
What is depression?
Symptoms are:
Feeling sad, anxious or down
Having less interest in pleasurable activities
Feeling guilty, worthless, helpless or hopeless
SOURCE: National Institute of Mental Health
Dealing with disappointment
Here are some tips on coping after the election:
Give yourself time. Be patient. What you're going through now is similar to the mourning process.
Make civility a priority. Show kindness and consideration to heal the rifts that have formed in communities.
Take a break from hot-tempered media. Television, radio and the Web are bursting with pundits eager to inflame your loathing for the other side. Do you really want to wallow in their venom?
Work, don't sulk. Just because the vote didn't go your way doesn't mean it's time to give up. Channel the passion you felt during the 2004 race into something productive like raising money for a cause you believe in or running for office yourself.
Act like a grown-up. When the anger of the campaign boiled over, it led to some pretty juvenile behavior, like the stealing of campaign yard signs.
Find common ground. Talking to the opposition may be the last thing you want to do, but to tackle long-term issues such as health care and terrorism, Americans need to reach a consensus.
See the big picture. Although it feels as if America has never been more divided, history begs to differ. The summer of 1968? The Civil War? America has been through worse.
SOURCE: Knight Ridder Newspapers
Jebus!
Grow a spine and some testicles, people!
It's not my (or anyone else's) fault that the DNC decided on a "shotgun" strategy with a loser candidate who is less charismatic than drying plaster.
When a focused, economical strategy with a candidate who truly "connects" with the voters worked!
Jack.
Oh, that must be why I feel so good!
Now THIS is what I want to hear more about! I wanted to see meltdowns, conniptions, Kerry holding onto the podium and having to be dragged off blathering.
I want to hear the moans and gnashing of teeth! I want to see the vacant-eyed, staggering remains of Kerry's supporters twisting in freakish misery.
We were cheated out of an election night victory celebration. Cheated out of the newspaper headline we'd been praying for, ( here in N.O. anyway. No 'Bush Wins' to be seen), cheated out of juicy behind-the-scenes reports of the REAL reaction of Kerry and his camp.
Give us the lamentations of the liberals, at least!
Anyone think there will be some 'insider' books about Kerry now?
There is a fellow in my office who is from India. He was really torn up. I told him the best thing he could was to go home gather his family, pack and wait for the deportation squad. :o)
HEY, sure I live in TEXAS but in the most staunch freakin ugliest RAT town in the WHOLE state of Texas....AND I'M GLOATING BABY...I'M GLOATING!! And that W O4 BUMPER sticker on the back of my car is staying there FOREVER!!! OH YA BABY!!!!
Drinking too much koolaid will do that to you every time.
How 'bout a nice cup of STFU?
Or, better still, "how 'bout them Swiftees?"
Gloatfest 2004, good one
you know--now they know how i felt when Clinton won his election AND re-election... and i really did believe that this nation was in its last days... that liberalism would prevail... it feels so good to be out of that darkness...
Love it!!!!! Have to remember that one for the more liberal leaning members of my husband's family!!!
I might have had some pity for these people if they had enough brain cells not to have been Kerry suporters. As it is, they're pretty much too dumb to live anyway, so who cares.
Isn't that the truth? We lost our younger daughter in January. That is LOSS! It is something that we will never get over. It is not having a daughter at Thanksgiving and at Christmas. These holidays are the first since she died. It is already hard on us and they are weeks away.
Dr. Vaudine's prescription for disappointed, deluded Dems:
Take 6 exLax tablets before bedtime, drink lots of water, and go to bed. Guaranteed to work all the bile and venom out of your systems, give a real excuse for "poor-me whining" and get your mind on something else.
After a week, go on a brain quest. See if you can find your lost one or make arrangements to get a transplant.
vaudine
You must be kidding? The city has never had a Republican Mayor, and sends Gene Green, Jackson-Lee, and now Al Green to congress. Harris County votes Republican because of the votes outside the city.
Alot of people from my work didn't show up Wednesday hahaha.
Alas, it appears this may no longer be in jest given what I've seen on TV, in print and on the Web from liberals in the last few days.
That's impossible for the RATS to do, but then, having President Bush win is MUCH sweeter knowing those morons are so miserable. Oh, and the part about US reaching out to THEM goes, nah, I LOVE knowing they're upset with us. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and they'll all move out of the country. LOL
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