Posted on 11/06/2004 12:56:43 PM PST by B4Ranch
A cowboy was herding his cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bulgari sunglasses & an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex. He uploads all of this data via an e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.............Now, can I have my dog back.
Hunting, cattle ranching, ethics
He is a snobby and condescending Eastern Establishment blueblood.
I saw the punchline coming a mile away and it still made me laugh.
Thank you.
bingo.
If he could get some honey from his honey suckles and the farmer said "sure"
The kid came back with ten jars of honey , then asked if he could get some butter from his butter cups and the farmer said "sure".
The kid came back with 50 lbs of honey.
But when the kids asked "are those pussywillows over there?"
The farmer stood up and said..."let me get my hat".
"He is a snobby and condescending Eastern Establishment blueblood."
Amen!
Consider, if the VP for the Republicans were like Edwards--read "Dan Quayle", the press would be all over him. And we did hear all the time how the Republican candidate ABSOLUTELY HAD TO CARRY OHIO. Not a word on sKerry's inadequacy to carry the one state Democrats always have to Kerry: Missouri.
Let's start with Kerry being a lying, cheating, two-faced, dishonest leftist and a general snob and go from there.
LOLOLOL! Cornbread muffin all over the darned place!
BTTT
LOL. Excellent.
Excellent!!! (And I'm a girl....with a sense of humor)
MMMMM... keyboard muffin....
ROTFLMAO~~~!!!!!!!!!
Pizza all over the monitor!
Thanks I needed the laugh!!!
Once I heard kerri talking about how the best times of his childhood were riding on a John Deere, cutting the lawn and thinking.
I was almost 41-years old before I got my FIRST lawn tractor...previous to that it was the old push-motor mowers until they crapped out...he has no clue or ability to indentify with middle America or the middle class for that matter!!!
Because he doesn't fall down, or he doesn't know how to fall down without blaming his falling on others and calling them nasty expletives.
I firmly believe he lost the election the day he called the Secret Service guy a 'Son of a B*tch'.
Kerry is a humorless jerk who can count the number of his real friends on much less than one hand! Good riddance.
I thought "doggie" for a brief moment before catching the joke.
>>I firmly believe he lost the election the day he called the Secret Service guy a 'Son of a B*tch'.<<
Funny how some things just stick in your mind, isn't it? What would he have done if the SS agent had pulled his weapon out and unloaded it saying, "Cover your own dumb butt from now own. You aren't worth dying for."
ROFL!
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