Posted on 11/04/2004 6:10:34 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
"S o a teacher in a small town asks her class how many of them are George Bush fans. Not really knowing what a George Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, 'I'm not a George Bush fan.'
"The teacher asks, 'Why aren't you a George Bush fan?'
"Johnny says, 'I'm a John Kerry fan.'
"The teacher asks why he's a John Kerry fan. The boy says, 'Well, my mom's a John Kerry fan and my dad's a John Kerry fan, so I'm a John Kerry fan!'
"The teacher is kind of angry, so she asks, 'What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
"And Johnny says, 'That would make me a George Bush fan.' "
A friend and Bush critic sent me this yuk-yuk sometime last spring. I laughed and told him I'd save his Bush-is-a-moron joke since I was sure he and his Bush-bashing buddies would need some major cheering up come Election Day. It's tough to lose a big election. It must be especially tough to lose a big election to someone your superior self considers an idiot.
Over the past four years, "Bush is a moron" has become a kind of cottage industry -- joke logs and the "Somewhere in Texas a village is missing an idiot" bumper sticker -- and some of the sweetest, most sensible people I know have bought into this bum rap. Delaware Democratic Sen. Joe Biden took things to a new low, really, when he said recently that Bush "is brain dead." They all might need a good joke this week.
Then again, they might reconsider their whole Bush-is-a-moron shtick. Not only would this in some small way help restore a measure of civility to our prickly public life, but it would also show a decent respect for another individual and the office of the presidency.
Furthermore, it would have the added benefit of comporting with reality -- always a plus in life if not politics.
In addition to achieving a substantial record of governance, Bush has taken on the Democratic Party's stars -- Texas Gov. Ann Richards, Vice President Al Gore and Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry -- and won. And after this Election Day, critics won't be able to cite one of the main sources of their unseemly bitterness over the past four years: the notion that Bush somehow stole the White House. Bush racked up an impressive re-election victory in some of the toughest political circumstances imaginable (Iraq, for starters). He won the popular vote by almost 4 million ballots. He became the first president since his father, George H.W. Bush, to win a majority of the popular vote. And his Republican Party gained seats in the House and Senate. Bush achieved all this while advancing a clear, meaty governing agenda.
Maybe Bush-bashers can chalk up all these Bush accomplishments to super-sharp political advisers -- Karl Rove, "Bush's brain," and other imagined Dubya puppeteers -- or the stupidity of the voters, but at some point even the harshest critic will have to acknowledge that Bush himself has a lot to do with all this success.
Certainly, efforts to reunite and tone down the divisiveness need to take place on both sides. Kerry made a noble move in this direction Wednesday -- not so much by what he said, which was gracious enough, but by what he did in refusing to contest the Ohio vote. The Democratic candidate's supporters could contribute by knocking off the Bush-is-a-moron garbage.
As for the republic's unreconstructed, sour Bush-bashers, here's another joke:
"Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and George Bush go into a bar. Rumsfeld orders first. 'I'll have a B and C.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a B and C?'
" 'Bourbon and Coke,' Rumsfeld says.
"Cheney orders. 'And I'll have a G and T.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a G and T?'
" 'Gin and tonic,' Cheney replies.
"Dubya wants to be cute, too. He says, 'I'll have a 15.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a 15?'
"Dubya says, 'A 7 and 7.' "
You get it: George W. Bush can't count!
Except, of course, to 279 -- as in 279 electoral votes and counting . . .
David Reinhard, associate editor, can be reached at 503-221-8152 or davidreinhard@news.oregonian.com.
I agree, but my feeling is that sKerry sent the Breck Boy is because sKerry is a coward!!
He is definitely the stupidest Philips Academy graduate, Yale graduate, Harvard graduate, son a President/CIA Director/Congressman, grandson of a Senator, brother of a Governor, bilingual, jet pilot, major league team owner, 2-term governor, 2-term U.S. president I've ever seen!
HA! All you holyer-than-thou and loftier thinking liberal creeps can HAVE your big inner city life.
You people put up with more crime than us rural and country folk do.
Who are the REAL STUPID PEOPLE, then? Hmmmm?
George W. Bush must be the luckiest man alive. He keeps on kicking the butts of politicians so much smarter and more capable than himself. I just can't figure it out!
Hey, everything's reletive.
Europe has a cultural memory and tradition of serfdom; America has a cultural memory and tradition of successfully rebelling against serfdom.
And if that makes us 'cowboys', then Kippee-Ki-Yay.
Amen!
BTW, I have a feeling he'd feel right at home here on Free Republic... (grin)
I wonder how many of the "Bush is a moron" crowd have the SAT scores and the grades to get into BOTH Yale and Harvard grad school? Huh, Janeane Garafalo? (crickets chirping) Huh, Michael Moore? (crickets chirping) Huh, Barbra (BS) Streisand? (crickets chirping) Huh, Cameron Diaz? (crickets chirping) Huh, Ben Affleck? Oprah? Cynthia McKinney? Loser Daschle? Bill "I found 70,000 missing votes" Richardson? Dan Rather? Serpenthead Carville? Boss Springsteen? Dixie Chicks? (crickets chirping). Dang, I'm running out of crickets!
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