Posted on 10/21/2004 10:43:56 AM PDT by IowaHawk
New York - Boston's ALCS victory celebration proved short-lived last night, as a hastily-assembled New York State Supreme Court ruled 9-0 to overturn the Red Sox historic come-from-behind win over the Yankees.
The dramatic ruling, issued at 4:52 AM, noted that while losing the series 4 games to 3 the Yankees had actually outscored Boston 45 - 41, and that a Red Sox berth in the World Series would constitute "widespread disenfranchisement of the higher scoring, and clearly more popular, team."
The ruling also overturned a game six interference call against Yankee Alex Rodriguez, which it termed "an arbitrary and capricious ruling against a player who was perhaps, not coincidentally, of Hispanic origin." It ordered American League officials to manually recount the runs in series games 4, 5 and 6, as supervised by Michele Catalano.
The Yankees' 46-member legal team erupted into a wild celebration on the ruling, spraying the vinyl-draped court room with champagne. They were joined by Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and the New York Supreme Court, wearing their traditional pinstripe robes.
It was another stunning victory for New York's famed "Murderers Row" of attorneys, who continued their dominance over the Red Sox legal department, compiling 48 consecutive court victories in the last 10 years while amassing a record 3.7 million billable hours. After the Yankees lost on the field 10-3 last night, they filed for an emergency injunction with the State Court, who were attending the game in Steinbrenner's private Yankee Stadium skybox.
Boston's attorneys vowed to appeal the ruling to the US Supreme Court, and to sue for several champagne-related slipping injuries. However, many longtime court watchers believe they will have a difficult time convincing the court to review the case.
"There are no constitutional issues at stake here, and with the World Series scheduled to begin Sunday there's no way a verdict can be rendered in time," noted Stuart Taylor of Lawsuits Illustrated. "Plus, the Yankees have solid case law on their side, such as Bambino and the landmark paternity suit Who v. Daddy."
classic
LOL! Very good parody.
LOL
LOL Excellent.
ping!
That is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Great job. Wait.....it was a joke, right? hehe
Here's to a Texas vs Taxachussets World Series!
First thing I thought of was the Elecotral College v. Popular Vote arguments. This is classic.
This would be exactly what Steinbrener would do...
Hey he got windfall millions from area cable viewers starting in 2001.
Every cable subscriber in any Cox Cable system is forced to pay him $25 a year - everyone - even the old grandmas that never watch sports. If you want the 60 channels on cable you must take the "YES" channels and pay the pimper (i mean piper).
He's got the money for the lawyers.
Why does everybody hate G Steinspender?
He is just doing what he does best.
Sigh. Capitalists just can't buy a break.
NY Yankees--America's team!!!!!!!!!
Its not everyone who names their team
after a derogatory term that denigrates
and entire nationality!
Next yr, George will go after David Ortiz,
Randy Johnson & Jason Isringhausen!
bwahahahahahahahahaahahahhaahahahahahahah
The Yanks will win 142 games next yr!
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha But boy did they
ever suck over the last 4 games!
MV
Ping
One of your all time best.
A masterful capturing of all the Dem BS....the racism note was an especially nice touch.
Wow! Outstanding - thanks. Hey, how about writing something about the plan for dem attorney's to be at polling places - seems like a target-rich environment.
Nice to see you're up and around. How 'bout those Haaaawkeyyyes ?
Excellent!
This is great -- you're approaching Swiftian levels. I've always felt sharp satire is the best way to put stupidity into focus.
A semi-not-completely-implausible scenario for Iowa winning the National Championship
1. Iowa wins remaining games. Finish regular season 9-2. Wisconsin and Purdue get extra loss each.
2. Purdue beats Michigan.
3. Ohio State beats Michigan.
4. Minnesota beats Wisconsin.
ergo, Iowa outright Big Ten Champ and BCS rep.
5. USC loses to Wash State.
6. USC loses to UCLA.
7. Az State beats Cal.
ergo, Az State outright Pac Ten Champ and BCS rep.
8. Okl. State beats OU.
9. Tex Tech Beats Texas.
10. Texas beats Texas A&M.
11. K-State wins out, upsets OU in Big 10 Champ game.
ergo, K-State Big 12 Champ w/ 4 losses.
12. Alabama beats Auburn.
13. Florida Beats Georgia.
14. Georgia Beats Tennessee.
15. Georgia Tech beats Georgia.
16. Georgia Tech beats Auburn in SEC Champ game.
ergo, 3-loss Georgia is SEC Champ.
17. Florida beats Fla State.
18. NC State beats Miami.
19. Virginia beats Miami.
20. Va Tech beats Virginia.
21. Pitt beats W. Virginia.
22. Entire Miami team arrested in crack sting.
ergo, Az State and Iowa face off in National Championship
23. Iowa destroys Az State, avenging September humiliation; Hawkeyes declared National Champs.
Hey, it could happen.
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