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"If Bush Wins, I'm..."
SF Weekly ^ | October 16, 2004 | John Mecklin

Posted on 10/16/2004 9:29:22 PM PDT by L.N. Smithee

What will we do if George W. Bush is re-elected in three weeks? Dog Bites doesn't know, but surely Google must. We searched for the phrase "If Bush wins, I'm ...." From the 450 or so hits that were returned, here's what we learned:

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

"If Bush wins I'm gonna get drunk, drive over to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to attempt to bring down the US government and replace it with a freely-elected democracy."

"if Bush wins, I'm outta here. Canada or NZ, wherever I can go, I'll go."

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be hopelessly defeated."

"if bush wins, i'm definately going to canada."

"If Bush wins (I'm not saying again), I'll chalk it up on my big 'Reasons to Commit Suicide in The Modern World' List."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to South America!"

"If bush wins, I'm jumping the fence to mexico."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping you'll stand with us in our rebellion against this Bush dictatorship."

"If Bush wins, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my friends."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to the UK."

"if bush wins, I'm throwing the biggest fit in the world and then using my lifesavings to move to canada!!!"

"If Bush wins i'm moving to New Zealand, oh wait, i'm already here, suckers."

"if Bush wins, I'm joining up."

"if Bush wins I'm going to leave the country."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to be looking for a new country to call home."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna be really loud (in my unimportant way)."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to the Washington Mall."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to Canada ... or maybe to Christine's neighborhood."

"if Bush wins I'm not jumping out a 20 story window."

"if Bush wins, I'm off to New Zealand to live with Rob and Kirsty."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Australia, and I've already got the paperwork started."

"If Bush wins, I'm seriously going back to college outside the US."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm holding everyone who didn't vote for Kerry accountable, especially those who know better."

"if bush wins..i'm gonna be the happiest person alive and i'm going to be so proud to be american...haha GO BUSH!!!!!"

"If Bush wins I'm going to have to summon all the equanimity that Buddhism offers."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins (I'm not voting for either of these a-holes), I r-e-a-l-l-y want Hillary to run for President in 2008, so that she can finally have a stake driven through her political career."

"If Bush wins, I'm pretty certain that we will go after Iran and/or Syria next (Iran more likely)."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving."

"If Bush wins, I'm gone."

"if Bush wins, I'm burning my passport on the embassy steps and pleaing for asylum, anyone care to join me?"

"If Bush wins, I'm holding Nader and Patti responsible."

"if bush wins, i'm moving out of the country ... preferably to england."

"If Bush wins I'm thinking 2008 will be the battle of the women."

"if Bush wins, I'm terrified at how the liberal minded will react. I hope not violently."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna start drinking!"

"If Bush wins I'm off to Canada -- don't think I can cope with Dubaya for another 4 years."

"if bush wins i'm not going to leave holland."

"if Bush wins, I'm removing myself from the voter rolls."

"If Bush wins, I'm still crossing my fingers, except this time hoping he doesn't launch a worldwide blitzkrieg or something."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to San Miguel de Allende Mexico."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Switzerland."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. Eh?"

"If Bush wins I'm moving to North Korea."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to make like a cicada and hide under the bed for four years."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada and requesting political asylum."

"If Bush wins, I'm sure the angels will rejoice -- there will be thousands of lives saved, more God-fearing laws, less liberal influence, etc."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada!"

"if Bush wins, I'm willing to stay if the Democrats break the GOP hold on Congress."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada or australia!"

"If Bush wins, I'm packing up my stuff and heading to Canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm lighting up just because, well...f--- it."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving the country. That simple."

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

"If Bush wins, I'm up $1,000."

"If Bush wins, I'm not going to cause a riot but will handle myself with poise and tactfully smile."

"if bush wins, i'm having a re-count riot party."

"If Bush wins I'm considering moving to another country."

"If Bush wins I'm staying inside my fallout shelter for 4 years."

"If Bush wins I'm hoping (and do feel it is plausible) for a 60/40 split."

"if Bush wins I'm sure Christian institutions will continue to receive a hell of a lot more money than they previously had."

"if Bush wins, I'm staying until 2005."

"If Bush wins, I'm afraid I'll have to become a tad more militant."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins I'm moving to canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to need to be able to tell myself that I did everything humanly possible to prevent it."

"If Bush wins, I'm happy."

"if bush wins, I'm starting a revolution."

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to grab two or three of my stinky freinds, find the busiest intersection I can find and picket with slogans such as 'Bush = War Hero' and 'George Bush was Elected.'"

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be able to stand it online enduring another 4 years of liberal *****ing about every single little pissant issue or news story."

"If Bush wins, I'm hopeful we'll take the gloves off and finally start kicking some Islamic ass."

"if Bush wins I'm the front-runner in '08."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

"If Bush wins I'm blaming it on your state!"

"if Bush wins I'm afraid that America is a lost cause."

"if Bush wins, I'm not going anyplace colder than here!"

"If Bush wins, I'm shooting the redeemer in my sig at the White House as soon as he's reinagurated."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping for chaos in the states."

"if bush wins, i'm killing EVERYBODY."

"If Bush Wins, I'm Going Underground."

"If Bush wins ... I'm leaving with the Baldwins."

"If Bush wins I'm going to riot."

"If Bush wins, I'm very scared for the US and the world..."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"if Bush wins, i'm nuking the USA myself. i only thought i'd give you fair warning."

"If Bush wins I'm going to Disneyland." (Tommy Craggs)


TOPICS: Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: California
KEYWORDS: bushhaters; haterade; ifbushwins
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To: L.N. Smithee

Well.

Bye.

21 posted on 10/16/2004 9:41:33 PM PDT by Dr.Deth
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To: L.N. Smithee

If Bush wins, I gonna get some bumper stickers made that say, "Bad liberal, don't be angry!"


22 posted on 10/16/2004 9:42:06 PM PDT by CAfraudPI
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To: L.N. Smithee

I'm moving on up.


23 posted on 10/16/2004 9:42:12 PM PDT by Raycpa (Alias, VRWC_minion,)
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To: L.N. Smithee
When Bush wins...
24 posted on 10/16/2004 9:42:19 PM PDT by TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)
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To: All

If Bush wins, I'm going to party like it's 1999!


25 posted on 10/16/2004 9:42:27 PM PDT by ClarenceThomasfan ( We want a Bush landslide in November!!!)
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To: L.N. Smithee
If Bush wins I'll finish wiring the basement.
I'm warning you!
26 posted on 10/16/2004 9:42:58 PM PDT by openotherend
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To: L.N. Smithee
This is encouraging news! and should rally the conservative base

Just think..... When the patriots of this country come out and vote to give President George W. Bush 4 more years, all the radical liberals will leave the country and take up residence in a third world country of their choosing :-)

By the time the next election comes around in 2008, by then they will have experienced how life is under liberal rule in, lets say France, where the people work 35 hour work weeks and nobody cares about advancing themselves, because the Motto of liberal Socialism is "Why Work hard and be the best? The pay is the same!"

A lesson every liberal needs to understand, and realize about our free market capitalist society, is that it rewards excellence, and the day we stop rewarding excellence, is the day excellence will no longer exist

27 posted on 10/16/2004 9:43:17 PM PDT by MJY1288
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To: L.N. Smithee
If Bush wins we all live 4 more years.

If Kerry wins we have ayatollahs with nukes.

28 posted on 10/16/2004 9:43:20 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (John Kerry mispoke, he meant to say she was a thespian.....)
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To: L.N. Smithee

If Kerry wins, I'm moving to France. If I want socialism, I might as well go live somewhere where they have some experience with it.


29 posted on 10/16/2004 9:43:29 PM PDT by July 4th (You need to click "Abstimmen")
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To: ClarenceThomasfan

All I can say, is that it would be an overdue cleansing of the gene pool.


30 posted on 10/16/2004 9:44:07 PM PDT by BladeLWS
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To: L.N. Smithee
My personal favorite:

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

31 posted on 10/16/2004 9:44:29 PM PDT by Graybeard58
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To: L.N. Smithee

If Bush wins we're popping champagne!


32 posted on 10/16/2004 9:44:32 PM PDT by cyncooper (And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm)
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To: Steel Wolf
I hate the IF in this,How sure are you fellow freepers that Bush will win!I am a basket case over this election!
33 posted on 10/16/2004 9:45:24 PM PDT by patriciamary
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To: Piranha

If Bush wins, our children may yet have a bright future.


34 posted on 10/16/2004 9:45:28 PM PDT by rennatdm
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To: L.N. Smithee

WHEN Bush wins by a large margin I am going to play "wipeout" on my computer speakers at work until my lib coworkers freak out! Then I will play it some more...:)


35 posted on 10/16/2004 9:45:54 PM PDT by fizziwig
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To: L.N. Smithee
When Bush wins (because we who have any common sense know it is a done deal) we'll rejoice, at all the loser libs that will vacate the country and make room for people who actually have something worthwhile to say.....I am already celebrating and thanking God for saving our nation.
36 posted on 10/16/2004 9:46:30 PM PDT by marmar (Faith is a beautiful thing.....)
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To: L.N. Smithee
Yeah! Right! Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.........

Just like four years ago..........
Babs, Alec, et al.

They're all still here!

(I wish to hell they would leave!)

37 posted on 10/16/2004 9:46:53 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: Simmy2.5

Did Gore really get the popular vote? Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't absentee and provisional votes only counted if they could affect the outcome in state. Is it possible that some of those "red" states were so overhelmingly Bush that the absentees and provisionals were overlooked?


38 posted on 10/16/2004 9:47:14 PM PDT by Roccus
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To: fizziwig
WHEN Bush wins by a large margin I am going to play "wipeout" on my computer speakers at work until my lib coworkers freak out! Then I will play it some more...:)

Find this oldie but goodie from 2000 on the web "Who's in the White House? Bush! Bush!" "Who's in the White House? Bush! Bush!

39 posted on 10/16/2004 9:47:37 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (John Kerry mispoke, he meant to say she was a thespian.....)
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To: bayourod
Free Dominion
40 posted on 10/16/2004 9:47:44 PM PDT by El Conservador ("No blood for oil!"... Then don't drive, you moron!!!)
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