"If Bush Wins, I'm..."

SF Weekly ^ | October 16, 2004 | John Mecklin

[L.N. Smithee]

What will we do if George W. Bush is re-elected in three weeks? Dog Bites doesn't know, but surely Google must. We searched for the phrase "If Bush wins, I'm ...." From the 450 or so hits that were returned, here's what we learned:

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

"If Bush wins I'm gonna get drunk, drive over to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to attempt to bring down the US government and replace it with a freely-elected democracy."

"if Bush wins, I'm outta here. Canada or NZ, wherever I can go, I'll go."

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be hopelessly defeated."

"if bush wins, i'm definately going to canada."

"If Bush wins (I'm not saying again), I'll chalk it up on my big 'Reasons to Commit Suicide in The Modern World' List."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to South America!"

"If bush wins, I'm jumping the fence to mexico."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping you'll stand with us in our rebellion against this Bush dictatorship."

"If Bush wins, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my friends."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to the UK."

"if bush wins, I'm throwing the biggest fit in the world and then using my lifesavings to move to canada!!!"

"If Bush wins i'm moving to New Zealand, oh wait, i'm already here, suckers."

"if Bush wins, I'm joining up."

"if Bush wins I'm going to leave the country."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to be looking for a new country to call home."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna be really loud (in my unimportant way)."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to the Washington Mall."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to Canada ... or maybe to Christine's neighborhood."

"if Bush wins I'm not jumping out a 20 story window."

"if Bush wins, I'm off to New Zealand to live with Rob and Kirsty."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Australia, and I've already got the paperwork started."

"If Bush wins, I'm seriously going back to college outside the US."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm holding everyone who didn't vote for Kerry accountable, especially those who know better."

"if bush wins..i'm gonna be the happiest person alive and i'm going to be so proud to be american...haha GO BUSH!!!!!"

"If Bush wins I'm going to have to summon all the equanimity that Buddhism offers."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins (I'm not voting for either of these a-holes), I r-e-a-l-l-y want Hillary to run for President in 2008, so that she can finally have a stake driven through her political career."

"If Bush wins, I'm pretty certain that we will go after Iran and/or Syria next (Iran more likely)."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving."

"If Bush wins, I'm gone."

"if Bush wins, I'm burning my passport on the embassy steps and pleaing for asylum, anyone care to join me?"

"If Bush wins, I'm holding Nader and Patti responsible."

"if bush wins, i'm moving out of the country ... preferably to england."

"If Bush wins I'm thinking 2008 will be the battle of the women."

"if Bush wins, I'm terrified at how the liberal minded will react. I hope not violently."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna start drinking!"

"If Bush wins I'm off to Canada -- don't think I can cope with Dubaya for another 4 years."

"if bush wins i'm not going to leave holland."

"if Bush wins, I'm removing myself from the voter rolls."

"If Bush wins, I'm still crossing my fingers, except this time hoping he doesn't launch a worldwide blitzkrieg or something."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to San Miguel de Allende Mexico."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Switzerland."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. Eh?"

"If Bush wins I'm moving to North Korea."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to make like a cicada and hide under the bed for four years."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada and requesting political asylum."

"If Bush wins, I'm sure the angels will rejoice -- there will be thousands of lives saved, more God-fearing laws, less liberal influence, etc."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada!"

"if Bush wins, I'm willing to stay if the Democrats break the GOP hold on Congress."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada or australia!"

"If Bush wins, I'm packing up my stuff and heading to Canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm lighting up just because, well...f--- it."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving the country. That simple."

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

"If Bush wins, I'm up $1,000."

"If Bush wins, I'm not going to cause a riot but will handle myself with poise and tactfully smile."

"if bush wins, i'm having a re-count riot party."

"If Bush wins I'm considering moving to another country."

"If Bush wins I'm staying inside my fallout shelter for 4 years."

"If Bush wins I'm hoping (and do feel it is plausible) for a 60/40 split."

"if Bush wins I'm sure Christian institutions will continue to receive a hell of a lot more money than they previously had."

"if Bush wins, I'm staying until 2005."

"If Bush wins, I'm afraid I'll have to become a tad more militant."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins I'm moving to canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to need to be able to tell myself that I did everything humanly possible to prevent it."

"If Bush wins, I'm happy."

"if bush wins, I'm starting a revolution."

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to grab two or three of my stinky freinds, find the busiest intersection I can find and picket with slogans such as 'Bush = War Hero' and 'George Bush was Elected.'"

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be able to stand it online enduring another 4 years of liberal *****ing about every single little pissant issue or news story."

"If Bush wins, I'm hopeful we'll take the gloves off and finally start kicking some Islamic ass."

"if Bush wins I'm the front-runner in '08."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

"If Bush wins I'm blaming it on your state!"

"if Bush wins I'm afraid that America is a lost cause."

"if Bush wins, I'm not going anyplace colder than here!"

"If Bush wins, I'm shooting the redeemer in my sig at the White House as soon as he's reinagurated."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping for chaos in the states."

"if bush wins, i'm killing EVERYBODY."

"If Bush Wins, I'm Going Underground."

"If Bush wins ... I'm leaving with the Baldwins."

"If Bush wins I'm going to riot."

"If Bush wins, I'm very scared for the US and the world..."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"if Bush wins, i'm nuking the USA myself. i only thought i'd give you fair warning."

"If Bush wins I'm going to Disneyland." (Tommy Craggs)

[Lockbar]

All extreme liberals could use one of these on themselves in a very serious manner.

[ApesForEvolution]

If Kerry wins, I might move to Belize. (But I was thinking of doing that anyhow)

FYI, Belize is ruined.

Mostly Muhammadans that really love Yessir Itispigfat and his PLA/PLO/JIHADIS-R-US Muhammacommiedan Death Cult, Inc...series, they run the whole damn country now. Plus, they ruined their banking privacy eons ago...worthless country now. Maybe B Island? Land used to be cheap...jungle land that is! lol

[ApesForEvolution]

There isn't a set of botox-less ba**s between the lot of them, so I'd say they'll overdose on Rx drugs...and boooze with various narcotics randomly mixed in.

[GeronL]

If Bush wins, I'm gonna get down on my knees and thank God almighty

ain't that the truth. Then we can turn on the TV and watch as a Fox News helicopter shows us liberals running over the border into Canada and the reports on mass suicides

[tdice7]

""If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

Typical liberal intelligence

[Paleo Conservative]

What happened to the French boycott?

With the boycott, demand for French whine has decreased so prices are down. Don't you think the French would be upset that a bottle of their best champagne would be used to celebrate W's reelection?

[The Loan Arranger]

Here's some stuff from searching: If Kerry wins, I'll...

http://interactive.zogby.com/fuse/messageview.cfm?catid=4&threadid=1307

http://www.bushvskerry04.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-2756.html

http://www.brain-stream.com/blog/archives/000316.html

http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=67637&Disp=All

[chuckles]

You'll notice that these guys all have an alternate place to go if Bush wins. America is it for a conservative capitalist Christian like me. I can't just pick up and go to a anti God socialist hell hole. If I could have I already would have. This is my country and I'll share it, but they have to respect it. In other words :Love it or Leave it!

[Smokin' Joe]

You're welcome. I saw others had posted links after I had posted the link.

[Smokin' Joe]

But think of the boom they'd create for Goverment funded Mental Institutions up there.

It could take a lot of loonies to pay for this batch of loonies to be put up..

[Fresh Wind]

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

I'll buy you a bullet.

[fire_eye]

As usual on this website, I can never think of anything before someone else posts it.

But, yes - when Bush wins, I am going to drink in the spectacle of Demonrats wailing like bratty kids in a supermarket whose mommy won't buy them a toy... and cackle fiendishly with glee and post vicious wisecracks on their websites about what we're going to do to them for the next 4 years...

[The Loan Arranger]

Here's a cheaper alternative to Australia:
http://www.livinginthephilippines.com/#Expats_Life

[Joy Angela]

If Bush Wins, we will have FOUR MORE YEARS
of freedom before Hillary runs for President.

CHERISH the Moment!

While it lasts!

[Beckwith]

If Bush wins, I'm going to Disneyworld.

[Allegra]

I'm gonna hold those people to those promises.

Yeah, all those people who are going to move out of the U.S.

I'll help 'em pack. ;-)

[Caipirabob]

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

I never said I'd call. I blame Martin for the rest.

[Caipirabob]

If Kerry Wins...

I'll send HILLARY the following card:

HILLARY CLINTON 2012 (You'll be like what? 70?!?)

[Roccus]

And since they're gov't run, I can't buy stock in them. Definitely a growth industry.

[codercpc]

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country... ... here for at least four years." Robert Altman - "If George Bush is elected president, I'm leaving for France." Pierre Salinger - "If Bush wins, I'm going to ...

Let's hope he didn't vote absentee.... (I know that's bad,sorry)