The Afghan and Australian elections -- and How Kerry's Gay flap means he's toast
Recall how the media last week predicted the elections were bound to be wracked by violence, voter intimidation and wholesale fraud, and complained that polling staff were too lightly trained, easily bribed, and that the drug-funded opposition, which hates democracy anyway and knows it can never win power back in a free and fair vote, will do anything to disrupt the elections? But enough about Florida.
(Frankly, aren't you sick and tired of Campaign '04? We have to get back to the place we were, where Kerrytistas are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance -- like gambling and prostitution.)
Now, regarding the elections in Afghanistan, the sages of major media said the chances of mostly peaceful elections in a terrible, war-wracked 'Quagmire' like Afghanistan, nearly 3 years after the fall of the Taliban, were slim to none. I took this optimism to mean the chances of mostly peaceful elections were pretty good. Sure enough, the elections went mostly peaceful Saturday, with exit polls on Monday showing interim president Hamid Karzai, accused by al-Qaeda and the Deaniacs of being a neocon puppet of Christian Crusaders, not only winning the nation's first free election, but Afghans giving the neocon puppet the outright majority required to avoid a run-off. (Taliban leader al-Gore immediately demanded a recount.)
But, for the Kerrytistas, the mostly peaceful election wasn't the only bit of bad news during the past week. Last Friday, the U.S. reported the nation's jobless rate held steady at 5.4%, below Clinton's election-year 5.6% rate; then came news on Saturday that Australia's Prime Minister John Howard wasn't being punished by voters for angering those pesky little 'Nuisance'-makers known as al-Qaeda in supporting the Iraq war; then came news late Sunday that followers of radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr had agreed to hand over their weapons, ending months of Nuisance against U.S. and Iraqi forces. (The only good news for Camp Kerry came late Tuesday, with word that Saddam's hernia operation was a success.) So, with mostly peaceful elections in Afghanistan and a key U.S. ally reelected in Australia and al-Sadrtistas disarming in Iraq and very low unemployment here at home, "evidence of (Bush's) failures (keeps piling) up all around him," wrote Kerry in a fund-raising e-mail recently. With President Failure piling up a job approval rate above the key 50% mark, how much more Bush failure can Kerry withstand?
Actually, the Kerrytistas, with their boss coming off a very weak performance in the second debate, had spent the whole week on defense. They tried and tried to spin it as a win for Kerry, but look, you can paint lipstick on a horseface, but it's still a horseface. Indeed, seconds after the second debate, you knew who won and who lost -- just by looking at the glum faces at MSNBC and CNN. Both cable nets said Kerry had put in a much weaker showing in the second debate, while Bush, his face wired-up with muscle motion detectors implanted by ABC News to track the tiniest scowl, more than held his own. Almost alone, Fox News commentators lauded Kerry's performance in the second debate. (My guess is that they were watching the first debate that night.)
Yet, as bad as Kerry's second debate showing was -- and, make no mistake, these debates are central to Kerry's White House bid since he wants to show that he, unlike Bush, can out-debate the terrorists anywhere, anytime -- more self-inflicted wounds were on the way. In an interview published Sunday in New York Times Magazine, Kerry said that "We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists aren't the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance," like gambling and prostitution. And blogging.
Absorbing the lessons of the tragic Nuisance attacks of 9/11, Kerry vows to go after terrorists and to hit them using the only language these blood-thirsty killers understand: Search Warrants and Court subpoenas. In fact, as I wrote back in March, just wait till Kerry rattles those Tora-Bora caves with Indictments! And strongly-worded U.N. resolutions. That'll teach 'em to mess with Massachusetts! To show these Nuisancists he means business, Kerry will summon the rough justice of ol' Martha's Vineyard, hanging posters saying, Wanted: Osama, Alive or . . Alive. Pretty Please? It's all part of Kerry's plan for waging a smarter War on Nuisance. And if, after all this, al-Qaeda still doesn't get it, then -- but only then -- will Kerry deploy that ultimate weapon of last resort: He'll hold a summit. In town hall format.
As for the third and final presidential debate Wednesday, who says there was no 'Knock-Out Blow'? Kerry delivered the Knock-Out Blow -- to himself.
"I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was, she's being who she was born as," said Kerry, claiming to be channeling Mary Cheney -- a secret technique he learned from a kid trial lawyer he put on the ticket who won jury verdicts by channeling unborn children whom he denies are unborn children. Kerry, of course, was just being who he was, he's being who he was born as: A Metrosexual ninny.
Crack open 'Debate Don'ts 101', and on Page 1, high on the list with ABSOLUTE DON'TS such as, 'Open with the line, Who am I? Why am I here?', you'll find, Try to Drag Dick Cheney's daughter Mary's private life into the debate and imply her gayness is a birth defect.
Bush could've skipped debate III and watched the Red Sox-Yankees game and still had won Debate III. Lurch's breach of debate etiquette and the raging controversy afterward is why. Sure, there was lots of media gushing 10 minutes after the debate about Kerry's Polished Performance, but the gushing was soooooo 10 minutes ago.
Lynne Cheney, "speaking as a mom, and a pretty indignant mom," called Kerry's remark a "cheap and tawdry political trick," noting "This is not a good man."
As the controversy snowballed throughout the day Thursday, Elizabeth Edwards, fresh from reading, How to Dig Yourself Into A Deeper Hole, accused Lynne Cheney of overreacting and being ashamed of her daughter. After Mary Cheney's dad, at a campaign stop, called himself an 'angry father' and noted the debate illustrated that Kerry "is not a man of strong character," Kerry -- now in full Damage Control Mode -- issued a statement compounding the damage, saying he was only "trying to say something positive about the way strong families deal with this issue." (My motives were absolutely pure and no, I wasn't trying to split Bush's base, just showing my glowing admiration for the Cheney family. Honest!)
John Edwards first dragged Mary Cheney into this during his debate with her dad after Democrat gay activists like John Aravosis first dragged Mary Cheney into this back in February after Democrat gay activist Michelangelo Signorile first dragged Mary Cheney into this back in January in his column bashing her dad. (Yeah, leave it to Republicans to bring up Wedge Issues!)
Hence, the post-debate story has become, How Kerry Blew It -- Big Time. Kerry's attempt to split the GOP base was such a brilliant stroke, it backfired, giving Bush a 4-point lead in Zogby's first post debate poll, as the GOP rallied around the President. Bush now leads the Master Debater, 48%-44%. It was dead-even before Kerry "won" the third debate.
In Wednesday's debate, it may have been just Bush and Kerry on that stage, but Kerry sounds more and more like Nader (whose motto is, 'Campaign like your 90 points down!'). It's a clear sign Kerry's worried about Mr. 'Unsafe At Any Speed', who's on the ballot in key battleground states, and that he's underperforming among core Democrats with just three weeks to go. In contrast, Bush enjoys near unanimous support among Republicans and right-leaning independents. Do the math: Bush won 271 Electoral votes and 48% of the popular vote in 2000. That's 48% of the popular vote for a governor against a sitting vice president in 'prosperous' times (the 'prosperous' stuff is debatable, I know, but let's leave that aside). You'll recall the late breaking DUI charge which rocked the Bush campaign and broke Bush's late momentum. Still, Bush got 48% of the vote and 30 states. Bush is now Commander-in-Chief, in wartime, with 50+ job approval in most polls and leads his challenger on major issues by whopping margins. If anyone here doubts Bush will get that 48% and rack up another 7 or 8 percentage points, let me know. I've got some lovely submarine property for sale.
Anyway, that's...
My Two Cents...
"JohnHuang2"
