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Kerry Fumbles the Snap (Sports Mistakes)
Cleveland Plain Dealer ^ | October 12, 2004 | John Petkovic

Posted on 10/12/2004 9:24:54 AM PDT by americaprd

Iraq. The war on terror. The economy.

The Big Game of the season will be won or lost on these points.

But there's another blood-and-guts battle being played out: in the trenches, inside the 20-yard lines, with balls, blitzes and barbs.

America, which of these men George W. Bush or John F. Kerry will you select to become Sportsman-in-Chief?

Sports kitsch has long been part of the political pitch.

Ronald Reagan was the Gipper. Gerald Ford was the former football player who terrorized spectators with his wild golf swing. Richard Nixon called in plays for the Washington Redskins. Jimmy Carter had helmet hair.

But this season, the men competing to be the nation's QB are, as the sports cliche goes, "pulling out all the stops and taking their game to the next level on both sides of the ball in an all-out effort to win."

"[Bush and Kerry] love to associate themselves with sports," says Stuart Rothenberg, publisher of the Rothenberg Political Report, an election-tracking newsletter. "It's a sign of virility and strength and a way to score points with the common man."

Kerry had better hope that Football Fans for Truth isn't casting the deciding ballot. The group, modeled after the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, is hellbent on "setting straight John Kerry's record on sports."

"It started out as a joke," says the group's co-founder, Dino Panagopoulos, from his Washington law office. "We just wanted to inject some humor into an otherwise humorless race."

Panagopoulos and his partner, Jeff Larroca, came up with the idea or, rather, the joke while picking players for their fantasy football league.

"We thought it was funny when Kerry went to Green Bay and fumbled the ball," he says. During that campaign stop in Wisconsin, Kerry referred to football's hallowed Lambeau Field as "Lambert Field."

The botched play inspired Panagopoulos and Larroca to form a Section 527 organization with the aim of erecting a billboard outside the Packers' home to correct the mistake. It also provided an opening up the middle for Kerry's opponents, President No. 43 and his backup, Dick Cheney.

"When someone offers you a cheesehead, don't say you want some wine," barked Bush, referring to the nickname for Packers fans during a campaign stop in Wisconsin. "Just put it on your head and take a seat at Lambeau Field."

He can't sort his Sox

Panagopoulos and Larroca soon discovered that Kerry's "Lambert Field" gaffe was part of a "seriously flawed record on sports" one chronicled on the group's Web site, www.footballfansfortruth.us.

"He hailed Red Sox player Manny Ortez when he went to the All-Star Game," says Panagopoulos. "Only problem is, there is no Red Sox player by that name. There's Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, but no Manny Ortez.

"Then there's the time when he was asked about his favorite Red Sox player. He said Eddie Yost, a guy who never even played on the Red Sox."

He was a Washington Senator Yost, that is.

Nicknamed "The Walking Man" because he knew how to get on base the ultimate objective of any politician Yost spent most of his 18 seasons playing with D.C.'s former baseball team before taking up a coaching career that included a stint in Boston.

Whiffing on his favorite Red Sock is nothing compared to the interception Kerry threw while campaigning in Michigan, when he hailed . . . the Buckeyes.

"Unbelievable," says Panagopoulos. "The Wolverines and Buckeyes are archrivals. "Both candidates are trying to show that they can relate to the average sports-loving American. But if that's what you want to do, at least get it right."

When it comes to wooing the sports voter, Bush has thrown more strikes, says Rothenberg. Part of the reason, he says, is because athletes tend to lean Republican, while actors and musicians tilt Democrat.

Bon Jovi, the Boss and all of Hollywood might rock for Kerry. But Team Bush fields a deep lineup everyone from Yankee Alex Rodriguez to football greats Bart Starr and Mike Ditka to golfer Jack Nicklaus to, well, you name the guy in auto racing.

Bush has also recruited crazy-haired boxing promoter Don King. He even paraphrased boxing legend Joe Louis in the presidential debates, when he told Kerry, "You can run, but you can't hide."

It's NASCAR vs. windsurfing

That's not to say the debates resemble boxing matches, though, says Panagopoulos.

"There isn't enough contact or interaction," he says. "They're more like sprinting. Each of them is running like crazy, in their own lanes, oblivious to what the other guy is saying."

Bush has managed a bit more traction, however.

"He comes off as more of a mainstream-sports kind of guy," says Rothenberg. "With him, it's NASCAR, football, baseball the lunch-pail, meat-and-potatoes sports."

"When you think of Kerry, you think of windsurfing or polo," he adds. "Which is fine, except that they're identified with California beach bums or the upper class."

They're hardly the most politically incorrect sports, though, Rothenberg insists.

"Synchronized swimming and ice dancing are very unpresidential," he says. "Bowling is up there, too; it opens a president up to ridicule."

(Ah, so that's what landed Nixon, an avid bowler, into the political gutter.)

On the other hand, golf the preferred sport among all of most presidents is a mixed bag.

"On one hand, it conveys serenity," says Rothenberg. "On the other, it reminds people that the president is wasting half the day on the golf course."

W. has never revealed his reason for teeing off. Then again, No. 43, like Kerry, has never really come clean on his sports record.

He has proven himself adept at throwing strikes and spirals; witness his tosses at Yankee Stadium and the Browns training facility in Berea, where he appeared in July.

But he will go down as the commander-in-chief who traded Sammy Sosa, in 1989, from the Texas Rangers to the Chicago White Sox. Bush has called it his biggest mistake, though he's never exploited it to get votes in Illinois.

There are other skeletons in his locker. In prep school, years before he ran for QB, No. 43 was, uh, a cheerleader.

Very unpresidential though a case could be made that presidents are merely cheerleaders, and the electorate is like the high school class that's forced to attend yet another pep rally.

If it's PC in Denver, it ain't so in Cleveland

W. would have a harder time spinning the support he's received from football hall-of-famer John Elway.

During a campaign stop in Colorado, the former field general used football terminology to introduce Bush: "This man knows how to make the right calls when the pressure is on."

"I'm proud to be introduced by the man who led The Drive,' " Bush responded, referring to Elway's fabled 98-yard touchdown drive in the 1986 AFC title game against that swing-state team, the Cleveland Browns.

Yep. Ol' 43 sure made the right call. If you're a Broncos fan.

To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: jpetkovic@plaind.com, 216-999-4556


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Front Page News; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Michigan; US: Ohio; US: Wisconsin
KEYWORDS: campaign; football; kerry; kerryisadoofus; kerryisstoopid; liar; lunchpailforabrain; lurch; phony; sports
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1 posted on 10/12/2004 9:24:55 AM PDT by americaprd
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To: americaprd

Kerry probably brought up his love of polo in his last conversation with Chris Reeves.


2 posted on 10/12/2004 9:27:56 AM PDT by Semper Paratus
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To: americaprd

Ignorance of sports drivel is a mark in Kerry's favor.


3 posted on 10/12/2004 9:29:44 AM PDT by jordan8
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To: Semper Paratus

Or mentioned the imaginary 16-point buck he bagged in front of PETA.


4 posted on 10/12/2004 9:30:47 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: americaprd

Well, as for sportsmen in politics, having a high caliber chess player (like Murphy, from 19 century) up there wouldn't be bad. But not a monomaniac like Fisher.


5 posted on 10/12/2004 9:33:41 AM PDT by GSlob
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To: jordan8

You're missing the point. Its not that he doesn't know sports, its that he pretends to like sports.

He's willing to say anything to anybody to get them to like him. He's a phony plain and simple and sports is one way to make that clear to a number of voters on a simple issue they can understand.

Kerry's pretending to be Joe Sixpack and when he's really Joe Cognac


6 posted on 10/12/2004 9:34:32 AM PDT by americaprd
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To: jordan8
Ignorance of sports drivel is a mark in Kerry's favor.

I don't care about the ignorance - just stop pretending.
Just like Hillary is a lifelong Yankees fan - it's just a stinkin' act.

7 posted on 10/12/2004 9:34:38 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: jordan8

Uh oh! Prepare for incoming! :-)


8 posted on 10/12/2004 9:34:44 AM PDT by JennysCool (Terrorism: Not a global test, John, but a pop quiz.)
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To: jordan8
Ignorance of sports drivel is a mark in Kerry's favor.

No it's not.

9 posted on 10/12/2004 9:37:54 AM PDT by Texas_Dawg
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To: americaprd

This article did not mention how in the last debate Kerry offended Red Sox fans all over the country with the remark he made; something to the effect of second guessing. Anyhow, he said, you can do that if you're the Boston Red Sox but not the President." (Not an exact quote. But, I'm sure some Freeper will correct me. Please do.)


10 posted on 10/12/2004 9:39:37 AM PDT by no dems (I don't care what people think about me anymore; I speak the truth. Deal with it.)
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To: americaprd

Kerry: the guy who knows more about box seats than box scores.


11 posted on 10/12/2004 9:45:21 AM PDT by showme_the_Glory (No more rhyming, and I mean it! ..Anybody got a peanut.....)
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To: americaprd
But he will go down as the commander-in-chief who traded Sammy Sosa, in 1989, from the Texas Rangers to the Chicago White Sox

Did't he trade Sammy to the Cubs?

12 posted on 10/12/2004 9:47:49 AM PDT by FesterUSMC ("If you don't have the hammer, you are going to be the anvil, and I would rather have the hammer!")
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To: americaprd
I can't wait for the Kerry to make a trip to Ohio and remember the day that Jim Brown broke the record for most strikes thrown by any Quarterback in the NBA.
13 posted on 10/12/2004 9:49:06 AM PDT by lnbchip
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To: FesterUSMC

I thought Sammy went to the Orioles first. Sammy didn't play for the White Sox, and didn't go directly to the Cubs after Texas.


14 posted on 10/12/2004 9:50:06 AM PDT by bootless (Never Forget - And Never Again)
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To: FesterUSMC

nope we was with the Sox before the Cubs.. thats weird staying in the same City...


15 posted on 10/12/2004 9:53:06 AM PDT by FesterUSMC ("If you don't have the hammer, you are going to be the anvil, and I would rather have the hammer!")
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To: bootless
I thought Sammy went to the Orioles first. Sammy didn't play for the White Sox, and didn't go directly to the Cubs after Texas. He played for the WHite Sox for 3 years Sosa
16 posted on 10/12/2004 9:55:55 AM PDT by FesterUSMC ("If you don't have the hammer, you are going to be the anvil, and I would rather have the hammer!")
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: americaprd
"Kerry's pretending to be Joe Sixpack and when he's really Joe Cognac"

Personally, I think he's Joe $hit the rag man.

18 posted on 10/12/2004 9:59:38 AM PDT by TheCrusader ("the frenzy of the Mohammedans has devastated the churches of God" Pope Urban II (c 1097 a.d.))
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To: bootless
I thought Sammy went to the Orioles first. Sammy didn't play for the White Sox

Two strikes - one more and it'll be fourth and long (sorry, broke into Kerry for a moment...)

Sosa indeed was traded to the White Sox from Texas after his rookie year (1989) along with Wilson Alvarez for Harold Baines and Fred Manrique. He was traded across town just before the 1992 season along with Ken Patterson for George Bell.

19 posted on 10/12/2004 9:59:55 AM PDT by green iguana
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To: jordan8

I much agree. Professional is to current day America as bread and circuses was to the Roman Empire.


20 posted on 10/12/2004 10:00:42 AM PDT by FRMAG
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