Posted on 10/06/2004 7:19:17 AM PDT by quidnunc
Okay, know going in that this story is going to cause your brain to curdle. You've got French technology, French manufacturing, and a French driver all going wildly, terribly wrong. On top of that you have a not-ready-for-prime-time Google translation from German to English. It's going to be a rough ride, but once you get into the spirit of the thing it just sort of skips along.
To set the scene: You have a cutting-edge French car with "smart" technology that takes so many little, irritating tasks away from the driver. You know, little things like air conditioningl, seat adjustment, radio tuning, control over acceleration, braking, and the ability to shut the whole thing down. Add in a wide open road and what do you have? Terror on the tarmac!
[Text verbatim, but cut — out of respect for our shared humanity.]It was worse than a nightmare: A normal route on the motorway. To be stopped suddenly will the car ever faster, is no more.
Well one hour long hunted a French driver with speed 200 over the runway, in the Slalom around the other cars. …
It has a truck overhauled, when its car accelerated suddenly independently on 190 kilometers per hour, quoted the French daily paper "Le Parisien" the driver Hicham Dequiedt on Tuesday:
"It was impossible to drive more slowly. On the brake to step, nothing proved functioned. as useless. " …
A cause for the Horrortrip was a electronics error in the vehicle: the Tempomat of its Renault Vel Satis was defective. The ignition to switch off is not possibly been, since the car has a smart card instead of a key....
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at americandigest.org ...
I was over in Europe this summer and I noticed that many Renaults have a rear end that looks vaguely anthropomorphic.
What the hell is that???? No wonder Renault doesn't export to the US anymore!
M*rde Alors!
Look at the glass in that thing... You'd die of heatstroke out here.
I am, by way of noting no holes in the roof for to extend the arms in surrendair...
The nose is well. not finished. Looks like a first sketch. The hood and top are 1960's space age. The rear is the face of one of the robots from Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow.
Be happy they're not importing them. France's excuse for an automobile is best left in France. They deserve themselves.
In France, that is (unfortunately) one of their techniques for population control.
Nice turn of phrase!
Is the hyphen really appropriate???
A Renault bit my sister once...
I was over in Italy in May, and I saw these all over the place. They are the CUTEST cars I've ever seen, and they're supposed to be introduced here in 2006. I WANT one!
I'm actually talking about the "smart car". To see what they look like, check out:
http://www.smartcar-owner.co.uk/brief_model_details.htm
They really are cute!
I lived thru the LeCar and the Alliance(incredibly Motortrend's car of the year in 1981). I also lived thru a beautiful Peugeot, which kept the garage looking classy but was entirely innoperative.
No, I suffer with bad cars. I presently own British Early MGB GT's and a Triumph GT6 MKIII. I drive each one a few hundred miles a summer. An MGB GT Weighs in at 2,600 pounds curb weight. It seats two.
After reading your screen name I'm not surprised that cute French cars appeal to you. Cabbage Patch dolls, Pet Rocks, My Little Pony, Smurfs, and such have quite a following with certain groups.
Is that a french car? I had no idea. But, you're right, I do like cute things. Tho, I'm not into "Cabbage Patch dolls, Pet Rocks, My Little Pony, Smurfs, and such. . . ", and I'm not in any "group".
Last time I was in Europe, I had a rental Renault with one of the 'smart card' ignition keys. Arriving at a meeting, I was both preoccupied and jet-lagged, and merely pulled the card out of its slot after parking. A couple hours later, a worried colleague came to find me to say that my car was still running. Went out and, sure enough, the damn thing was rumbling merrily away without the key in it. Seems you have to press a special button to turn the sumbitch off. How French!
If you but a Peugeot ypou'll be in a group – self-flagellating shlubs who curse the day they decided to buy a French-made money pit because they thought it was cute.
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