Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Bob Geldof: two parents are best [says split families ‘damage society’]
London Times | October 3, 2004 | John Elliott

Posted on 10/03/2004 6:42:45 AM PDT by ejdrapes

Geldof: two parents are best

Split families ‘damage society’
BOB GELDOF, the pop star turned Third World campaigner, has made a passionate plea for children to be brought up by two parents, claiming the “because I’m worth it” society is creating a damaging number of single-parent families.

The former punk rocker has emerged as an unlikely champion of the family, arguing that marriage should be taken more seriously and greater value should be attached to domestic life.

Speaking in a television documentary, Geldof on Marriage, he says: “Marital breakdown costs the state about £15 billion a year and most of that is spent on single-parent benefits.

“I know it’s uncool, and I truly have no desire to cause upset or offence by saying this, but the truth of every study is clear: dual-parent upbringing produces healthier, better educated children. That’s it.”

The consequences of divorce, on the other hand, are dire, he says. “Children of divorced parents are much more likely to do worse at school, commit crimes, go to prison and more likely to commit suicide. Divorced men live shorter lives than married men and are more likely to get cancer.”

He blames the “because I’m worth it” society for leading people to abandon marriages for what he regards as self- indulgent reasons.

“We hop from product to product, channel to channel, station to station and, most damagingly, lover to lover, trading each one in for a new model as soon as passion fades,” he says.

“Perhaps a lot of it is down to an overblown sense of self. We imagine ourselves to be free people, but we should not be free to destroy others, especially children. We have confused freedom with the idea of choice, we have become voracious consumers, not just of stuff, but of the soul.”

Geldof, former lead singer with the Boomtown Rats who was acclaimed for his work on Live Aid, experienced the difficulties of single parenthood himself after his wife Paula Yates left him and later died. He believes that the government should act to protect the institution of marriage by making it more difficult to divorce.

“This marriage stuff is a serious thing. It is not to be entered into and dissolved on a whim and to make light of it is a profound mistake. Yet that is precisely what the law allows us and encourages us to do.

Geldof laments what he sees as the decline in the importance attached to family life. “Has the need to work hard, to produce, to earn, to spend, become more critical to the government — and perhaps our own emptier selves — than the truer world of the home?” he asks.

“Have we so devalued domestic life and its culture of companionship and warmth and nurture and safety and calm to the point of being almost irrelevant? “We’re all encouraged to put work first and domestic matters such as our families and our relationships second — and those who don’t are regarded with suspicion . . . have we completely lost the idea of home being important? “You know when you come home . . . and she’s doing something nice, like making a meal or something, I don’t know if its just me, it’s so feminine, it’s so sexy.”

Geldof on Marriage will be broadcast on Monday, October 11, on Channel 4 and a second programme, Geldof on Fathers, will go out the following day. He is already known as a campaigner for the rights of divorced fathers.

Official figures released last month showed that the number of divorces reached than 150,000 in 2003 — an increase of 4% on the previous year and, at 14 for every 1,000 married people, the highest rate for seven years.

Men in their early thirties and women in their late twenties are the most likely to face divorce. Among married men in the 30 to 34-year-old age group, 28 out of 1,000 get divorced. Among married women aged 25 to 29, the rate is 29 per 1,000.

Geldof’s own family life descended into turmoil when Yates left him for Michael Hutchence, lead singer of the rock group INXS, in 1995.

Geldof, 50 this week, eventually won custody of their three daughters after a bitter legal battle, and also became the guardian of Yates’s daughter by Hutchence. The INXS frontman was found hanged in his hotel room in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and Yates died of a drug overdose in 2000.

Geldof also argues that too much emphasis is placed on the ephemeral attractions of the wedding day, without thought for the real meaning of the marriage vow.

He says pre-marital classes might go some way to making the scale of the commitment clear. “Why is it you cannot support the institution of marriage without sounding terrifically old-fashioned or right-wing? It’s wrong.

“We’ve got to take back the right to speak about the most important institution that man has evolved over thousands of years.”

Paula Hall, a spokeswoman for Relate, the relationship guidance group, said last week that divorce was not always wrong. “It allows people to leave bad marriages,” she said.

“Because more people are divorcing, it doesn’t mean there are more unhappy marriages. I would suggest there are less unhappy marriages than there used to be because people get out whereas before they were stuck in them.”


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: family; geldof
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-52 next last
To: ejdrapes

Why can't you defend marriage without sound right-wing? That's easy: because the Left is waging an all-out war to abolish marriage.


21 posted on 10/03/2004 8:11:51 AM PDT by Arthur McGowan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: randog
“Perhaps a lot of it is down to an overblown sense of self. We imagine ourselves to be free people, but we should not be free to destroy others, especially children. We have confused freedom with the idea of choice, we have become voracious consumers, not just of stuff, but of the soul.”

Does this mean he is pro-life, too?

22 posted on 10/03/2004 8:13:57 AM PDT by Cooter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes
“Why is it you cannot support the institution of marriage without sounding terrifically old-fashioned or right-wing? It’s wrong.

For the same reason you can not bring up G-d or bedrock faith without sounding right-wing or old fashioned. The left has rejected these positions for a "I am the center of the universe" mentality. It isn't so much that the right embraced those values as they have been forced into the position of keeping the left from destroying them.

It might not have been always so but it is now.

23 posted on 10/03/2004 8:18:05 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (There is no Chaos. Only very complicated Order. (Presenting Lady Snuggles of the Lethal Yew in PJ's!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes

Geldof has courage.


24 posted on 10/03/2004 8:18:31 AM PDT by independentmind
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes

?This marriage stuff is a serious thing. It is not to be entered into and dissolved on a whim and to make light of it is a profound mistake. Yet that is precisely what the law allows us and encourages us to do. ?
he



Well DuH!!


Another Leftist's sees the Light!!


25 posted on 10/03/2004 8:21:02 AM PDT by RedMonqey (Keep RIGHT or get LEFT behind!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes
“Perhaps a lot of it is down to an overblown sense of self. We imagine ourselves to be free people, but we should not be free to destroy others, especially children. We have confused freedom with the idea of choice, we have become voracious consumers, not just of stuff, but of the soul.”

Sometimes age DOES bring wisdom!

26 posted on 10/03/2004 8:26:42 AM PDT by SuziQ (Bush in 2004-Because we MUST!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ladysmith
Ol' Bob is finally growing up, I see. Well, better late than never!

Heal your smug self. Geldof was on the ground in Ethiopia twenty years ago doing his best to make sure the Band Aid and Live Aid funds got to the people that needed them and not to autocrats and thieves. He defended his family immediately when his wife walked out him to keep the children away from the doomed and dysfunctional Yates and Hutchence. Your condescension is uncalled for.

27 posted on 10/03/2004 8:32:26 AM PDT by Fatalis
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: All
WTF is wrong with all of you holier-than-thous on this thread clucking your tongues about Geldof as though you "told him so"? He was married to the mother of his children who walked out on him back in 1995 and he didn't just shrug off his kids he sued and got custody. You think he's just waking up today?
28 posted on 10/03/2004 8:37:11 AM PDT by Fatalis
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: texgal
I couldn't agree more. The breakdown of the family - the most integral unit of society - will be our undoing as a nation. The emphasis should be on what's best for the family, what's best for the children and what's morally right for the country.

The easy-out of no-fault divorce, or divorce on demand must be stopped! Not only is no-fault morally wrong, but it is UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Where else can the plaintiff win EVERY time whether or not they are in the wrong?

Take a look at what goes on in family courts. The person wanting to break the "contract" (marriage) is usually the one who files for divorce. They are usually committing adultery and it is known to the court. Yet, the court will grant the divorce every time based only upon the word of the party wanting to terminate the marriage. The divorce is a done deal the minute the papers are filed. What remains is to divide the assets and the children. 1st, 4th, 9th and 14th amendment rights of the respondent/defendant and the children are ignored. The adultery of the offending spouse is ignored.

Try to fight it and you will be punished by the court in terms of property, custody, support - in any way the black robed thug sitting on the bench decides. My husband stole our community property savings - more than $250,000 - and built a house for his whore. The two of them ran up more than $136,000 in credit card debt during the year we were fighting it out in court. He came to court claiming to be virtually penniless and broke because of family bills. Even though we had evidence that these were not family bills - most were for travel and things for their home - the judge ordered my home to be sold to settle their credit card debt. (This particular judge should have not been sitting on the bench as it was proven by a taped telephone conversation that she had direct conversations with a woman in another case.) She didn't order the sale of his home to settle his debts. I almost went to jail for contempt of the order to sell the home and had to file a writ of mandamus against the judge. If I had gone to jail, the state would have taken my children since their father didn't want them. I can tell you that finding out about his cheating and lies was bad, but what they did to us (me and the kids) in court was worse.


Whoa, sounds like a really bad story there. I agree with you that no-fault divorce should be stopped, it is a good indicator of our fleeting throw away society. Not happy with the Mrs./Mr. and the family, no problem! Just get divorced and you're free. Just like a beer can, just toss it. I know there are cases that a divorce is needed like adultery, physical abuse, and perhaps chronic substance abuse, but the no-fault movement on the 1970's/1980's swung the pedulum way, way, way towards the wrong direction and we are reaping what we sow. I know myself, I'm the product of a divorce, my parents divorced when I was 10 in 1976, of course that was just before all of this got started. It's rough, I had it rough and so did mom, and I think there are times even to this day it affect me.

"Thugs in black robes" is correct, be it divorce or other such issues.

As to Bob Geldhof, I'm still cautious but for now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and cue up the theme to "2001 - A Space Odyssey" for his realization.
29 posted on 10/03/2004 8:43:19 AM PDT by Nowhere Man ("Laws are the spider webs through which the big bugs fly past and the little ones get caught.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes
Geldof, former lead singer with the Boomtown Rats .....

The article leaves out his notable performance as the character "Pink" in the film version of Pink Floyd's "The Wall," in which (among other things) he gets to shave off all his body hair and don the persona of a neo-fascist rock-star, replete with goose-stepping minions in black quasi-Nazi regalia, in the unforgetable "In the Flesh":

Pink Floyd
In The Flesh


So ya thought ya might like to go to the show.
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow.
I got me some bad news for you, Sunshine.
Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel,
And he sent us along as a surrugate band.
We're gonna find out where you fans really stand.
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall. -- 'Gainst the wall!
And that one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me.
Get him up against the wall. -- 'Gainst the wall!
And that one looks Jewish, and that one's a coon.
Who let all this riffraff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint, and another with spots!
If I had my way I'd have all of ya shot.

30 posted on 10/03/2004 9:00:02 AM PDT by longshadow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: texgal
I agree. No fault is a joke. I was the one who filed when my adulterous ex left to go cohabitate with his girlfriend- I had to protect myself by making sure a temporary order was in place for child support and etc. In the end, I had to sell the house because ex left me with no notice, big mortgage, and wasn't ordered to pay me anything until 6 months after he moved out. I also ran up about 7K in legal fees because my lawyer and I did all the work. We provided all the proof of everything and all he and his lawyer would do was say "we don't agree with XYZ" and the process would get dragged out. In addition, Washington has very strange divorce laws that punish women who work (less child support, no reimbursement of legal fees, etc). It sucks.

When I was talking to some very pro-Kerry people, they started to go on and on about Bush's economy. I said "Yes, I was laid off TWICE in 2001, but both times I ended up with better jobs and I am making a lot more than I was when he took office. However, I took one hell of a financial hit from my husband abandoning our family. That's not Bush's fault."

31 posted on 10/03/2004 9:06:56 AM PDT by conservative cat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes

Excellent article, thanks for posting it.


32 posted on 10/03/2004 9:12:57 AM PDT by diamond6 (Everyone who is for abortion has already been born. Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ben Chad

Up until I had to go to court for this I believed that truth and honesty would prevail. The problem is that the courts don't even bother to try to determine the truth of any matter. That may have been the case at one time but certainly no more. What matters most is whose lawyers have something on the judge.


33 posted on 10/03/2004 11:04:59 AM PDT by texgal (end no-fault divorce laws return DUE PROCESS & EQUAL PROTECTION to ALL citizens))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes

Spoken from someone who knows all too well.....Prayers for Sir Geldolf and his extended family.


34 posted on 10/03/2004 11:10:38 AM PDT by mabelkitty (Do not indulge the Negative Nervous Nellies with reassurances.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ejdrapes
The man has courage, he's right on both counts:

“I know it’s uncool, and I truly have no desire to cause upset or offence by saying this, but the truth of every study is clear: dual-parent upbringing produces healthier, better educated children. That’s it.”

35 posted on 10/03/2004 11:11:22 AM PDT by GOPJ (The effect of‘MSM bias’ is the Democratic party and the press sustain each other’s delusions. Steyn)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: conservative cat
I agree, it's not Bush's fault.

I'm working hard to change the laws here in Texas. As long as the government allows and REWARDS its citizens to treat their spouses and children badly, then they will continue to do so. Some, like my husband of almost 30 years, will treat it as an art form!

36 posted on 10/03/2004 11:12:44 AM PDT by texgal (end no-fault divorce laws return DUE PROCESS & EQUAL PROTECTION to ALL citizens))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: longshadow

I was searching the posts to see if anyone else "remembered" his role in this film.

Thanks for remembering !!


37 posted on 10/03/2004 11:16:55 AM PDT by RightWingNut
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: longshadow
I'm sorry but i do not see what this has to do with his comments,for one it was twenty years ago and he was acting, secondly, I'm not sure whether u are criticizing his portrayal within the movie because if you are , you obviously didn't understand it as it should have been clear that the film was clearly anti Nazi and anti pop hysteria, I'm also reminded that pink was actually mistreated by his father in the story and considering the clip from the black and white film , with a very famous actor off that time shows a clip where he calls his black Labrador a very old fashioned way off thinking name, relates to the film i assure you, shows me twenty years is a long time and in my eyes, a film very much before its time and one that i will never forget as not only a portrayal off past but off the future too, pardon me if I'm wrong but this post really is really unrelated to the present discussion!!!! and i also say the clash were classed as a punk band during this period-but as most things these days I'm sure the word punk does not adhere to something that is meant as good, yet the clash were never racist , the opposite tends to ring true.
38 posted on 10/11/2004 4:35:21 PM PDT by freelove
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: freelove
I'm sorry but i do not see what this has to do with his comments.....

I didn't say it had anything to do with his comments. What I wrote was:

"The article leaves out his notable performance as the character "Pink" in the film version of Pink Floyd's "The Wall,"....[snip]"

The point being that the article, which notes highlights of Geldof's career, failed to mention his performance in the the Pink Floyd film.

39 posted on 10/11/2004 5:14:53 PM PDT by longshadow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: longshadow
OK long shadow, very sorry for misinterpreting your post, and yes then indeed it is a valid post for it was a very notable achievement, and to be left out is a wrong certainley in there research. p.s for a first time actor surly it deemed an Oscar. sorry to other postees as well for sounding off , but geldoffs philosophy on this is something i have been thinking off most of my life , coming from a home with no parents at all (not a drug addict or a thief or murderer or anything) but i do feel this is society's problem , and its about time we started talking about this , because there's too many excuses flying around
40 posted on 10/11/2004 6:11:06 PM PDT by freelove
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-52 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson