How dare you criticize my tan. My wife says anyone who criticizes my health care is an IDOIT. Are you a Republican?
/sarcasm off
Posted on 09/30/2004 11:33:51 AM PDT by Pfesser
There is not a woman alive who will not sympathise with the Democrat John Kerry for doing what he did this week.
Who among us has not done the same thing? That is, made a stupid, stupid decision regarding our appearance right before a very important event.
Senator Kerry, who is trying to win the race for the White House, hit the bottle.
The fake tan bottle. Or perhaps the sun bed, nobody is sure. But whatever, the day before the first TV debate with President George Bush, Kerry turned orange.
Not a little bit orange. His face is like a Halloween pumpkin. Or, as the New York Post put it, Kerry - who is from icy Boston - suddenly has a tan "even George Hamilton would envy".
Everybody has noticed, of course. Talkback callers in the US jumped on the airwaves to have a good chuckle.
The comedian Jay Leno said that Kerry's face was, like a city faced with terrorism, on orange alert. Matt Drudge, who runs the Drudge Report website, wondered whether Kerry had been campaigning too much "in the rust belt".
The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp - which wants to get back to debating the big issues, like war - was forced to explain it. It said Kerry got the tan by basking in the sun at a football match.
The New York Post did not buy it, and nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly of Garden City Dermatology said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon." The New York Sun said Kerry's "sudden, orangey-bronze glow" was "highly unlikely" to be the real deal.
So why did he do it?
Probably because he has to face an audience of 70 million people watching the debate and he wanted to look his best. He would not be the first. John F. Kennedy was among the first politicians to use make-up for TV debates and he made Richard Nixon look tired and pale.
It is also possible that Kerry, like many older men, thought a tan would help him get the chicks in. He needs them. Time magazine said he had somehow managed to alienate women voters, who normally back Democrats over Republicans by a wide margin.
Kerry knows the debate will not be about issues, but image. Important topics will be treated superficially. But if he thinks a tan will help him woo women he is probably wrong. Surveys show they are worried about terrorism, and wonder whether he can handle the heat - and not the heat from sun lamps.
Kerry probably spent the last day practicing his debating skills from the shower. That is the only way that is coming off.
SEE new photos. he got his teeth whitened:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1231679/posts
A tip off would be late demand for VERY soft lighting.
I figured it out! The stretched face and the orange tint are definite signs of pantyhose!
You need a good disguise when you attempt to steal an election.
I don't think the Tan in and of itself is such an awful thing to do,,but be honest about it for criminey sakes!! I mean, isn't this the same guy that says he will "tell the truth to the American people." GAWD, if he can't be honest about the tanning fiasco, what CAN he be honest about?
Don't answer that....I know....I know..
A little off topic but,,,,the latest confusion from Comrade Kerry was brought out on Laura Ingraham's radio show today.
At the very same time Kerry says Bush is "scaring" security moms with "terror" ---
Kerry also says Bush is painting a "rosy" picture of Iraq to the American people...
"scaring" us with a "rosy" picture? I mean,, I know they are not the exact same topic technically,,but they are related...
as real as the tan on his face.
How dare you criticize my tan. My wife says anyone who criticizes my health care is an IDOIT. Are you a Republican?
/sarcasm off
So let's take an inventory now...
...Kerry got Botox injections to remove wrinkles and look better
...Kerry ot supremely expensive hairdos from a high fashion hairdresser
...Kerry got the orange fake tan sprayed on to look better
...Kerry got his teeth whitened to look better
All of this leads us to a few inevitable conclusions:
1) If Clinton was the first "black" president, apparently Kerry is trying to be the first "woman" president!
2) Kerry tells us its his ideas/substance that is what is important and why we should vote for him; BUT he rushes headlong into trying to have the best image/style.
3) Kerry must have been one UGLY sonofagun before all this started!!!
Except Kerry is not a woman.
Even if he were, my feeling is that issues should take priority over vanity, but there might be a degree of sympathy if a hairdresser applied a bad perm. Kerry is supposed to be a male and fixing his teeth, applying botox and turning orange are NOT qualities I find attractive in a male. Is he going to be wearing a girdle next?
Then he lies about what he has done and insults our intelligence.
Ahhhh, he thinks everything falls in with his original game plan - look good; sound stupid, no problem because "look good" trumps everything else...
"At the very same time Kerry says Bush is "scaring" security moms with "terror" ---"
Kerry is scaring my kids with his face.
Seriously, they just don't like the looks of the man!
Children are intuitive!
THE WONKA FACTORY NEWS RELEASE!!
We are happy to announce that our missing Oompa Loompa has been found, thanks to pajama-clad internet bloggers.
Lurcha Loompa will rejoin his co-workers on Nov. 3rd.
Thanks to all.
W.W.
I finally figured it out....Kerry is auditioning for "Extreme Makeover"!
Notice his WHITE hands and compare to his ORANGE face. Tans include hands too. I think it is Coppertone QT. There maybe some evidence of that on the palm of his hands.
I heard a few minutes of Michael Savage's show last night and there was a (woman) caller who theorized that he, Kerry, had just got another botox treatement and the "tan" is to hide the small blotches caused by the injections.
the Copper look is in
It wasn't that the TV color tuning was bad. The anchor make-up was very different from the face color of the news readers/reporters on location.
I believe this was a conscious effort to do sKerry a pre-emptive Hallowe'en favor.
And no, I don't normally watch CNN, I was stuck at a lunch bar with TVs tuned to CNN. I listened to none of their propaganda.
HF
JFK is not running as a woman candidate for president or is he? The stick thin figure, the fancy hairdresser, the cosmetic surgery, the clothes. I think he is anorexic; has anybody ever seen him swallow?
I got the worst haircut of my life the day before the prom.
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