The Tan Commandments

The Curt Jester ^ | 9/29/04 | Jeff Miller

[Atheist2Theist]

At first I thought it might be some strange synergistic effect between Kerry and Michael Jackson's skin. Kind of a racial Picture of Dorian Gray. But I decided to put on my pajamas and do some investigative reporting and so I put together this story board based on what actually happened.

[rocky88]

LMAO this is so funny!

[luvbach1]

Are Kerry's hands tan?

[buffyt]

That is GREAT! LOL

[buffyt]

His hands don't look bright orange like his face.

[sr4402]

No Hillary didn't give it to me. How dare you criticize my tan. My wife says that anyone who criticizes my health care plan is an "IDIOT"! Well what do you think this is?

/sarcasm off

[T Minus Four]

His hands don't look bright orange like his face.

One of the little people applied the tanner for him, of course.

[alcuin]

The fifth estate (you) has just de-railed the Hilary 2008 campaign.
You have WAY too much power.
Please use it wisely.
FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

[Mears]

Leno showed the before and after tan pics of Kerry last night.

Hysterical!

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Hilary in 2008 is scarier than anything else that is going on in the world today.

[knuthom]

Also from that site:

...nature's pumpkin cycle:

Blooms and grows in July.
Turns Orange in September.
Carved up in October.
Thrown out in November.

[Gunder]

That's why we need Rudy to take her out in '06!

[RippleFire]

lol

[El Gato]

His hands don't look bright orange like his face.

All that means is that Mama T paid someone to put the tanning stuff on him.

[Sicon]

I don't even understand why Kerry would want to look SO tan. To me, anyone who would spend that much time to get a tan is not only narcissistic, but also not terribly intelligent (after all, what truly intelligent person would waste hours lying in the sun, working on giving themselves skin cancer?). Of course, there are people who are naturally tan, or who work in occupations where they get a nice tan, but Kerry isn't in either of those categories. So giving himself this tan, whether real or from a bottle, just makes him look even more ridiculous, narcissistic, and bizarre. Of course, most of us knew that much about him long before he turned into an Oompa-Loompa!

[TC Rider]

Are Kerry's hands tan?

Mostly his palms!

[talleyman]

I don't even understand why Kerry would want to look SO tan.

He was going for that "Christmassy" feeling with the Jewish crossover vote - you know: "Oh tanenbaum, o tanenbaum..."

[fish hawk]

"are Kerry's hands tan?"

no but his shorts are.

[quark]

The Jean-Foutre Kerry National Health Care Plan: Issue a tube of bronzer to every man, woman, and child so they can have that "healthy (orange) glow."

[eyrish69]

Kerry will announce tonight that he is switching parties tonight.