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21 Steps to Becoming a Democrat
Vanity | Unknown

Posted on 09/29/2004 8:14:20 AM PDT by Syco

Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking (about it) and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have first.

Compare the below and see how you rate...

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs'!

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars..

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've been subject to.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you could).

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and beastiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school have far more rights than the majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young children.

If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs - you're gonna be a big asset to John Kerry.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: democrat; humor; kerry
I hope that this hasn't been posted before. I just received it from my Uncle and think it's hilarious (and frighteningly accurate). Enjoy.
1 posted on 09/29/2004 8:14:21 AM PDT by Syco
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To: Syco

22. get a lobotomy


2 posted on 09/29/2004 8:16:33 AM PDT by Smedley
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To: Syco

22. get a lobotomy


3 posted on 09/29/2004 8:16:55 AM PDT by Smedley
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To: Syco

23. You are tolerant to everyone except those who are intolerant to those you are tolerant towards.


4 posted on 09/29/2004 8:18:51 AM PDT by modest proposal
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To: Syco

24. You have to want government run health care, schools, nurseries, old age homes for everyone but yourself...


5 posted on 09/29/2004 8:20:44 AM PDT by 2banana (They want to die for Islam and we want to kill them)
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To: 2banana
Modification to your #24.

24. You have to believe that the same government that can't deliver your mail to you reliably can take excellent care of you when you're sick.

Shalom.

6 posted on 09/29/2004 8:23:45 AM PDT by ArGee (After 517, the abolition of man is complete)
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To: Syco; Temple Owl

Great.


7 posted on 09/29/2004 8:24:30 AM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Syco
All I know is that if sKerry wins, I'm going to become a liberal, quit my job, collect unemployment until it ends, collect welfare as long as I can, then get caught robbing a bank so that I can get free meals and a bed at the state pen, all courtesy of those crazy hard-working Republicans and their tax money.

Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?

8 posted on 09/29/2004 8:25:16 AM PDT by meyer (Proud member of the Pajamarazzi!)
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To: meyer
all i know is if Kerry wins, I'm leading the swim to Cuba.
9 posted on 09/29/2004 8:34:28 AM PDT by blackeagle
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To: Syco

Everyone is born a democrat; some just never grow up.


10 posted on 09/29/2004 8:34:58 AM PDT by Old Professer (The Truth always gets lost in the Noise.)
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To: meyer
Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?

The mantra of the democrats to a lot of black americans. I've seen & heard it personally for a lot of years.

Every election cycle in govt housing areas the democrat politicians suddenly descend into the community and preach their ususal scare tactics and then no one see them until near the next elections.

11 posted on 09/29/2004 8:35:10 AM PDT by prophetic (What do u call someone who flip-flops so much? A Politician? No, a HYPOCRITE!!)
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To: prophetic

Modification to #11:

11. You have to believe the military starts wars, and politicians end them.


12 posted on 09/29/2004 10:13:56 AM PDT by reeb88 (How much fun are 72 virgins anyway? How much crying can one man take?)
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To: Syco
Add another one:

John Kerry, a man, honorably discharged from his military obligations, is beyond reproach and that his service should never be questioned.

George Bush, a man, honorably discharged from his military obligations, must be required to prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, that a slanderous allegation, presented without supporting evidence, is false.

(A bit of vanity here, the above is posted, along with many other similar comments on my profile page. )

13 posted on 09/29/2004 10:46:04 AM PDT by Michael.SF. ("He is so European, being from Mexico and all." - Brigette Nielson)
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