Letterman's "Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies"

Media Research Center ^ | 9-28-04 | Medial Reseach Center

[FlyLow]

From the September 27 Late Show with David Letterman, the "Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies." Late Show home page: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/

10. Ask the question, "We've never had a horse-faced President so why start now?"

9. Instead of witty retorts, have secret service wrestle Senator Kerry to the ground.

8. Use Kerry's long-winded answers to take much needed bathroom breaks.

7. Hope one of them hurricanes cancels the debate.

6. Instead of water, fill Kerry's mug with Red Bull and vodka.

5. Find time to work in joke prop -- giant waffle.

4. Moving his lips to pretend microphone isn't working.

3. Handle it same way he handled National Guard duty -- don't show up.

2. If Kerry makes a good point, distract him with some chaw spit in the eye.

1. Point out Senator Kerry's mispronunciation of the word "nucular."

[stainlessbanner]

10 is funny. They should have used a "secret plan" joke

[gridlock]

Let's hope they keep lowering those expectations. Then when the President debates Orange Julius, he'll win half the battle by just saying "Good evening" without drooling.

[Ciexyz]

Leno's jokes are funnier. I esp. liked the one about Clinton: "Did you hear that Playboy is planning a "Girls of McDonalds" spread? Sounds like Bill Clinton's wet dream!"

[Lady Heron]

He thought this was funny????

[KTpig]

I see you have your bunny w/pancake, I think someone has animated it and there is a waffle version, so keep checking back.

[weegee]

Jimmy Carter STILL pronounces it NUKE-ULAR.

[Corin Stormhands]

(I stole this yesterday)

[the_devils_advocate_666]

I heard this on the radio this morning and it sounded like the audience laughed hardest at #10 and #3 didn't go over well at all (I think I heard a few "boo"s).

[KTpig]

That was fast, thank you kindly.

[weegee]

John Kerry has much more to lose in these debates than President Bush. Kerry has avoided offering specifics, now the differences between the responses given by Bush and Kerry will become clear.

Event Democrats have conceded that President Bush is a better debator.

A good response to any of Kerry's long-winded flip-flopping answers would be to ask "So does that mean that you are FOR it or AGAINST it?"

Isn't it ironic that the left has forged documents to "show" that President Bush was absent from his National Guard service while Candidate Kerry has denied evidence that showed he lied about the date he left his pro-North Vietnamese "anti-war" organization (the one that planned to assassinate elected congressmen)?

[weegee]

Well it is expected that CBS will still try to sell the Big Lie that George W. Bush ducked out of his National Guard service.

[battlegearboat]

very fast with "Orange Julius"

I like it.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

[TheBigB]

[newgeezer]

Unless I'm mistaken, there are not one but two pancakes on that bunny's head.

[Grampa Dave]

[mywholebodyisaweapon]

What pancake?

[mywholebodyisaweapon]

What head?

[newgeezer]

Jimmy Carter STILL pronounces it NUKE-ULAR.

Actually, that's how Dubya pronounces it and the Merriam-Webster dictionaries list it as an acceptable alternate pronunciation. (I hate when that happens.)

However, Jimmuh Cahtuh always pronounced it "NUKE-ee-uh" (which is not acceptable, even by M-W's loose standards).

[Grampa Dave]

Letterman gets his paycheck from the same c BS that Rather does! Spend 60 seconds watching the c BS eye which Rather and Letterman are icons for.