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Letterman's "Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies"
Media Research Center ^
| 9-28-04
| Medial Reseach Center
Posted on 09/28/2004 11:04:57 AM PDT by FlyLow
From the September 27 Late Show with David Letterman, the "Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies." Late Show home page: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/
10. Ask the question, "We've never had a horse-faced President so why start now?"
9. Instead of witty retorts, have secret service wrestle Senator Kerry to the ground.
8. Use Kerry's long-winded answers to take much needed bathroom breaks.
7. Hope one of them hurricanes cancels the debate.
6. Instead of water, fill Kerry's mug with Red Bull and vodka.
5. Find time to work in joke prop -- giant waffle.
4. Moving his lips to pretend microphone isn't working.
3. Handle it same way he handled National Guard duty -- don't show up.
2. If Kerry makes a good point, distract him with some chaw spit in the eye.
1. Point out Senator Kerry's mispronunciation of the word "nucular."
TOPICS: Front Page News
KEYWORDS: strategery
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To: FlyLow
10 is funny. They should have used a "secret plan" joke
To: FlyLow
Let's hope they keep lowering those expectations. Then when the President debates Orange Julius, he'll win half the battle by just saying "Good evening" without drooling.
22
posted on
09/28/2004 11:22:58 AM PDT
by
gridlock
(BARKEEP: Why the long face? HORSE: Ha ha, old joke. BARKEEP: Not you, I was talking to JF'n Kerry!)
To: FlyLow
Leno's jokes are funnier. I esp. liked the one about Clinton: "Did you hear that Playboy is planning a "Girls of McDonalds" spread? Sounds like Bill Clinton's wet dream!"
23
posted on
09/28/2004 11:24:36 AM PDT
by
Ciexyz
(The first crisis hits, "President" Kerry will sail his Swiftboat to safety, then call Teddy.)
To: FlyLow
He thought this was funny????
To: arizonarachel
I see you have your bunny w/pancake, I think someone has animated it and there is a waffle version, so keep checking back.
25
posted on
09/28/2004 11:28:48 AM PDT
by
KTpig
To: HouTom
Jimmy Carter STILL pronounces it NUKE-ULAR.
26
posted on
09/28/2004 11:28:52 AM PDT
by
weegee
(What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
To: KTpig
![](http://home.comcast.net/~mfletcher1600/bunny.gif)
(I stole this yesterday)
27
posted on
09/28/2004 11:30:58 AM PDT
by
Corin Stormhands
(In case of Rapture, I SURE HOPE this tagline is empty...)
To: FlyLow
I heard this on the radio this morning and it sounded like the audience laughed hardest at #10 and #3 didn't go over well at all (I think I heard a few "boo"s).
To: Corin Stormhands
That was fast, thank you kindly.
29
posted on
09/28/2004 11:33:05 AM PDT
by
KTpig
To: FlyLow
John Kerry has much more to lose in these debates than President Bush. Kerry has avoided offering specifics, now the differences between the responses given by Bush and Kerry will become clear.
Event Democrats have conceded that President Bush is a better debator.
A good response to any of Kerry's long-winded flip-flopping answers would be to ask "So does that mean that you are FOR it or AGAINST it?"
Isn't it ironic that the left has forged documents to "show" that President Bush was absent from his National Guard service while Candidate Kerry has denied evidence that showed he lied about the date he left his pro-North Vietnamese "anti-war" organization (the one that planned to assassinate elected congressmen)?
30
posted on
09/28/2004 11:34:23 AM PDT
by
weegee
(What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
To: the_devils_advocate_666
Well it is expected that CBS will still try to sell the Big Lie that George W. Bush ducked out of his National Guard service.
31
posted on
09/28/2004 11:36:18 AM PDT
by
weegee
(What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
To: gridlock
very fast with "Orange Julius"
I like it.
To: TheBigB
To: the_devils_advocate_666
34
posted on
09/28/2004 11:44:32 AM PDT
by
TheBigB
(Terrorists aren't afraid of "nuance.")
To: whd23
Unless I'm mistaken, there are not one but two pancakes on that bunny's head.
35
posted on
09/28/2004 11:50:31 AM PDT
by
newgeezer
(When encryption is outlawed, only ksjdryu xire fjzj ensifovic.)
To: FlyLow
36
posted on
09/28/2004 11:52:48 AM PDT
by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop Rathering to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
To: TheBigB
To: TheBigB
To: weegee
Jimmy Carter STILL pronounces it NUKE-ULAR. Actually, that's how Dubya pronounces it and the Merriam-Webster dictionaries list it as an acceptable alternate pronunciation. (I hate when that happens.)
However, Jimmuh Cahtuh always pronounced it "NUKE-ee-uh" (which is not acceptable, even by M-W's loose standards).
39
posted on
09/28/2004 11:55:49 AM PDT
by
newgeezer
(When encryption is outlawed, only ksjdryu xire fjzj ensifovic.)
To: FlyLow
Letterman gets his paycheck from the same c BS that Rather does! Spend 60 seconds watching the c BS eye which Rather and Letterman are icons for. ![Image Hosted by ImageShack.us](http://img7.exs.cx/img7/9485/EyeLies_IncPen_FreeRepublic.gif)
40
posted on
09/28/2004 11:56:16 AM PDT
by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop Rathering to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
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