Posted on 09/15/2004 5:04:36 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
Conservatives like to tell war stories-and refute them, a la the Swift Boat Vets-and some of those stories concern bookstores. And the people who work in them. Who tend to be….well, not exactly the most conservative-friendly people in the world. The bookstore leftist is more standard than the bookstore cat. And conservatives have often found these stores to be hostile territory.
In recent weeks, reports have circulated that customers-or would-be customers-are having a hard time finding Unfit for Command, John O'Neill's anti-Kerry book. Conservatives have suspected that stores are keeping it from them, or that clerks are deep-sixing them, or that something untoward is happening. Paranoia is in the air.
But sometimes paranoids can be on to something. I don't scoff at these suspicions, mainly because of my own experience-most of it in Ann Arbor, Mich., my hometown. (Ann Arbor is a bookseller's paradise, and, in some ways, a conservative's hell.) I worked at a store called The Little Professor. The manager there-a nice guy, actually-wouldn't put out conservative magazines and gun magazines. He flat refused to bring them to the floor, acting as censor. My brilliant (and conservative) friend Eddie Krause came up with a new name for the store: The Little Suppressor.
It may be hard to believe, but it took something like an act of courage to buy a conservative magazine in an Ann Arbor bookstore. I used to dread it-the clerk was almost invariably cold, and he often bristled, and sometimes you got snotty remarks. It was a relief just to get through a purchase without incident. And I know many who could give the same testimony.
In truth, it could be dicey to ask for a bag-yes a bag. That made you a despoiler of the environment, you see.
I know a journalist who lived in the Ann Arbor of the West, Berkeley. Purchasing his National Reviews and American Spectators at Moe's, he would say to the clerk, "Well, just keeping an eye on what the enemy is doing"-anything to get by. These tactics may not be brave, but, gosh, are they human.
As the Swift controversy heated up, the two bookselling giants, Borders and Barnes & Noble, were besieged by callers angry that they could not find Unfit for Command. Conservative hollered, "J'accuse!" Both companies pleaded that it was the fault of the publisher, our beloved Regnery-the supplier had not printed enough copies to meet demand. Liberals, for their part, also besieged the companies, demanding that they pull the book from their shelves.
Come with me now, to BorderUnion.org, "The Borders Books Employee Union Web Site." Herein lie some revelations-or confirmations. In notes to one another, Borders clerks have been griping about having to sell Unfit for Command, to the troglodytes who seek it. Although not every seeker is a trog: According to one clerk, "We did have a college professor come in looking for [the book]. She teaches a writing class and wanted to use it as an example of a 'false book.'" Or maybe she just wanted to read it and wanted to avoid grief from the clerk?
But let's get to the nitty-gritty. Writes a Borders Books beauty,
"We're "finding" [note those quotations marks] that most of the few copies we're getting are damaged and need to be sent back. So sad. Too bad. Bushies! Regnery needs to be more careful. I'm hearing from people at two other stores that this seems to be common. Why should we help destroy what is left of our country?"
Back for a second crack, our man exhorts,
"You guys don't actually HAVE to sell the thing! Just "carelessly" hide the boxes, "accidentally" drop them off pallets, "forget" to stock the ones you have, and then suggest a nice Al Franken or Michael Moore book as a substitute. Borders wants those recommends (sic), remember?
I don't care if these Neanderthals in fancy suits get mad at me [fancy suits?]. They aren't regular customers anyway. Other than "Left Behind" books, they don't read. Anything you can do to make them feel unwelcome is only fair."
Another Borders beauty writes, "I wish [conservative customers] really knew how little respect I have for them." Oh, we know, babe-we know.
Not long ago, readers of National Review Online sent in to me their experiences of trying to buy Unfit, and of dealing with bookstore clerks in general. Care for a (very) small sampling of their observations?..........[Continued]
Something that really galls me is the misuses of the term "Uncle Tom," to describe a black individual who is supposedly obsequious to whites--particularly conservative whites. The real "Uncle Tom" was no such thing. Christlike, he remained passively defiant to the evil Simon Legree, even though his defiance cost him his life. The correct use of the term would imply someone who lays down his life for his friends and his beliefs.
The Little Supressors is exactly right.
You are a twisted soul.......Reminds me of the submarine commander who ordered deionized water to fill his batteries.
I think that's what the clerk was gauging her whole argument on...the misuse of the term "Uncle Tom."
go to your bookstore...if they have the book and it isnt prominently displayed ..cimply move a few up front...or if you ask and find they have the book in the back..simply ask for two copies...bring a few friends to ask for two and prominently display them around the store.
You should learn to raise the bar and taunt them like
I do. I enjoy taking the knife driving it in deeper and then twisting it around for good measure. These jerks deserve it.
"Uncle Tom's Cabin" is in the public domain.
You can get such literature online, for free at this website:
http://www.gutenberg.net/
Thanks for the link!
For automobile pranks, I prefer the ping pong ball with two small holes in the gas tank. When the car sits still, it sinks and settles on the fuel line opening, blocking the flow. After two days, it's disolved from the fuel. Right about the time the mechanic will drop the tank. Every time a towtruck moves the car, the ball rolls off the opening from being tilted and the car will start and drive. Once it's parked for an hour again, it dies.
I try to do my shopping locally as much as possible. At one level, Borders is not a local store any more than WalMart is. Amazon gives my local UPS guy some business, so it all pans out.
However, there is absolutely no more sense in supporting a local bookstore that censors than there is in my sending money to the DNC. And if I REQUEST a book, and there's some kind of reluctance to order because they don't like my political views......you can bet that that store just lost a customer for a lifetime.
Sam's Club here in St. Louis had a good supply when I was there this weekend.
What I found funny was reading all the way to the end of their 3 pages of posts how many were loathe to admit how poorly Clintoons book was selling. They all said it sold for a few days before he made an appearance but now they were "just taking up space".. ROFL!!!!! - in my pajamas!
And the ping pong ball is an oldie-but-goody as well. I'm a proud graduate of the "Write Creative Messages in Brake Fluid on the Vehicle's Paint Job" school.
Bought my copy of Unfit yesterday at a Walden Books in a mall. Every copy had a yellow 15% Off! sticker placed in the upper left hand corner, so that "Un" was covered, making the title "fit for Duty". Clever, no?
I wonder if management knows how their employees are suppressing sales.
I got mine delivered wrapped in paper so know one could see the cover as it was put into the Walden Books bag. I special ordered it..Only took them 4 days to get it..That was fast! Sadly, the only other "Unfit for Command" books to be found in that store was behind the counter wrapped the same way.
"Seems to me that someone could get rich by starting up a Conservative leaning bookstore."
The Conservative Book Club is very good. I had no complaints in all the years I belonged and only quit because I ran out of shelf space. (BTW, you can opt out of "auto-ship", so that wasn't the problem...I just lost control on their clearance sales ;)
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