Posted on 09/13/2004 12:37:53 PM PDT by nyconse
Licorice—or Die Do hamster-lovers care how differently the presidential candidates treated their family pets? Our columnist investigatesWEB-EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY By Gersh Kuntzman Newsweek Updated: 12:12 p.m. ET Sept. 13, 2004Sept. 13 - Who would make a better president: A man who fought valiantly to save an innocent soul or a man who stood by as a defenseless being lost his life? advertisement Oy, not the Vietnam War again. Don’t worry. I’m going to reopen an even-deeper wound: The Hamster War. The battle began at the Democratic National Convention when Alexandra Kerry, candidate John Kerry’s daughter, told what she obviously believed was a touching story of her heroic father. "We were standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip," she said. "Our golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster, bubbled down to a watery doom. But my dad jumped in, fished the cage from the water, and began to administer CPR." Now, granted, this is a pathetic image of a man so desperate to please his kids, so eager to protect his reputation as a "man of action," that he would resuscitate a dying hamster.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
I am copying that picture for later...I love it...ha,ha
The story was pretty funny though. The dress....NOT funny. Not attractive either. Its too bad for his daughters that they inherited the freakishly long face of his. Its far more unsettling on a female. But, like Algores kids, I hope that someday they can overcome their genes and become thinking people.
??
I cannot display it....
Put a ton of bright red lipstick, and some cheap perfume, and she could easily get a job with the rest of the MSM whores.
My wife and I agree. BTW, my 53 y/o wife has less boob droop than Alex.
I talked to a Sicillian Bostonian the othernight who claims he knows for a fact that the crash itself was intentional to squelch Mary-Jo. How's that for conspiracy theories?
Look, the fact is both parties reduced their leading candidates' daughters to a mental level lower than a box of rocks during their prepared remarks to the respective conventions. Hamsters or no hamsters. The remarks of all four ladies were insipid. It seems that the Barbara and Jenna remarks were about the only uncomfortable moment during the GOP convention. I know, they're just big kids; but they both sounded like pinheads(which they are not).
On the other hand, I'd hate to go through life with a name like Kuntzman!
Next!
The Bush girls are in their early 20's...but Kerry's girls are quite a bit older (30's I think)...I like the Bush girls and thought they were cute-just kids after all. As for the Kerry girls, I thought they were fine...they love their Dad...no problem with their address. All the girls had lame speeches. They were there just to look cute and humanize their Dads.
I, too, have been wondering if I was the only one who found Licorice's story a bit much. How could a hamster survive being submerged in water for what sounds like the better part of a minute?
Do we have a veterinarian on FR who can address the chances of hamster survival in the conditions alleged, and the likelihood that a human intervened and performed CPR to save the day?
Hamstergate. It's coming.
Hamstergate is hugh and series.
I'm not sure. How do you pronounce it?
Ha,Ha
Yes you can.
Their grandmother said she loved it. We should leave it at that.
I'm not a veterinarian, but I am a paramedic. I have been involved in lots of animal rescues in the course of my career.
Including one that was on the news. One of those "rescues" involved hamsters.
An apartment was on fire and the fire department brought out a cage full of unconsious hamsters (smoke inhalation).
The tiny little girl who owned them begged me to do something, so we rubbed their little chests and put oxygen masks on them. *of course that means we put a mask over the entire litter and pumped oxygen into the cage.
Every one of them survived, at least for the short term. I don't know anything about how they did later.
(please don't tell anyone about this....)
Here is a very simple test to determine if Kerry is a liar.
Ask him the proper ratio of hamster chest compressions/breaths for hamster CPR. If he doesn't know, it's obvious this story was made up to win the small, furry pet-lover vote. If he does know the answer (and texasflower, we are counting on you to help validate his response), more investigative work will need to be done.
Has anybody ever had birch beer?
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