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Licorice-Or Die
MSNBC News ^ | 9-13-2004 | Gersh Kuntzman

Posted on 09/13/2004 12:37:53 PM PDT by nyconse

Licorice—or Die Do hamster-lovers care how differently the presidential candidates treated their family pets? Our columnist investigatesWEB-EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY By Gersh Kuntzman Newsweek Updated: 12:12 p.m. ET Sept. 13, 2004Sept. 13 - Who would make a better president: A man who fought valiantly to save an innocent soul or a man who stood by as a defenseless being lost his life? advertisement Oy, not the Vietnam War again. Don’t worry. I’m going to reopen an even-deeper wound: The Hamster War. The battle began at the Democratic National Convention when Alexandra Kerry, candidate John Kerry’s daughter, told what she obviously believed was a touching story of her heroic father. "We were standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip," she said. "Our golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster, bubbled down to a watery doom. But my dad jumped in, fished the cage from the water, and began to administer CPR." Now, granted, this is a pathetic image of a man so desperate to please his kids, so eager to protect his reputation as a "man of action," that he would resuscitate a dying hamster.

(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: bush; hamsters; kerry; licorice
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This is very funny...Enjoy LOL...Could you imagine going through life with a name like Kuntzman? LOL.
1 posted on 09/13/2004 12:37:54 PM PDT by nyconse
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To: nyconse

2 posted on 09/13/2004 12:44:11 PM PDT by traumer
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To: traumer

It is beyond me how this woman could wear this dress in Public (it looks like a negligee). She looks like a tramp.


3 posted on 09/13/2004 12:46:47 PM PDT by nyconse
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To: nyconse
This is a hoot!

Frankly, I didn't think Kerry behaved at all heroically. Instead of bravely diving in to rescue Licorice, he found an oar and fished the cage out with that. Big deal.

4 posted on 09/13/2004 12:48:07 PM PDT by T'wit (Believing in socialism is like believing your car will run on water if you just keep trying.)
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To: traumer
I see London
I see France...
5 posted on 09/13/2004 12:48:45 PM PDT by T'wit (Believing in socialism is like believing your car will run on water if you just keep trying.)
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To: nyconse

Actually, in an interview on the radio, her sister said she was horrified. The dress wasn't see through, but with all the flashes of the camera, it lit it up like an Xray. She sounded pretty convincing and I have a shirt that can be pretty flimsy in bright light. I guess in the dressing room she wasn't taking papparazzi into account.


6 posted on 09/13/2004 12:48:48 PM PDT by sandbar
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To: nyconse

Who the heck is that?


7 posted on 09/13/2004 12:49:34 PM PDT by chalkman (Three can keep a secret if two are dead)
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To: nyconse
...Could you imagine going through life with a name like Kuntzman?

Well, that IS Bill Clinton's street name, after all...

8 posted on 09/13/2004 12:49:35 PM PDT by ErnBatavia ("Dork"; a 60's term for a 60's kinda guy: JFK)
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To: traumer

9 posted on 09/13/2004 12:49:53 PM PDT by traumer
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To: chalkman

Kerry's Hollywood daughter.


10 posted on 09/13/2004 12:50:30 PM PDT by ErnBatavia ("Dork"; a 60's term for a 60's kinda guy: JFK)
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To: traumer

Who the heck is that?


11 posted on 09/13/2004 12:50:34 PM PDT by chalkman (Three can keep a secret if two are dead)
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To: ErnBatavia

Okay, I thought so, but I wasn't sure


12 posted on 09/13/2004 12:51:04 PM PDT by chalkman (Three can keep a secret if two are dead)
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To: nyconse
This is very funny a waste of 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
13 posted on 09/13/2004 12:53:45 PM PDT by YankeeinOkieville
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To: nyconse
Now, granted, this is a pathetic image of a man so desperate to please his kids, so eager to protect his reputation as a "man of action," that he would resuscitate a dying hamster.

It also probably never happened.

14 posted on 09/13/2004 12:54:16 PM PDT by CaptRon (Pedecaris alive or Raisuli dead)
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To: nyconse

One liberal senator from Massachusetts dove into water to save the life of a hamster but the other liberal senator from Massachusetts wouldn't dive into water to save the life of a human being.


15 posted on 09/13/2004 12:55:34 PM PDT by South40 (Amnesty for ILLEGALS is a slap in the face to the USBP!)
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To: sandbar

***Actually, in an interview on the radio, her sister said she was horrified. The dress wasn't see through, but with all the flashes of the camera, it lit it up like an Xray. She sounded pretty convincing and I have a shirt that can be pretty flimsy in bright light. I guess in the dressing room she wasn't taking papparazzi into account.***

There is not a woman in the world who would put on a dress with one layer of thin material and no lining and NOT know that her breasts would show through. That thin material looks more like a sexy negligee than a dress that a woman would wear in public.


16 posted on 09/13/2004 12:56:14 PM PDT by kitkat (George W. Bush, a PROVEN leader)
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To: traumer

That is one nasty...ummmm....dress she's wearing. At least she had the "modesty" to wear white panties with it. I'd hate to see au naturel.


17 posted on 09/13/2004 12:56:19 PM PDT by cweese
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To: cweese; All

I though it was pretty funny (sorry I wasted two minutes of one poster's life) I just felt like we could all use a joke...I like the comment about Bill...yeah he should have been named er Kuntzman-for sure! LOL


18 posted on 09/13/2004 12:59:29 PM PDT by nyconse
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To: cweese
Excuse me, but can we just be honest and admit that the little Kerry girls were TOLD this story by their father and that they didn't actually see anything that is being described? This is like the Rassmann rescue incident - yes, there was a rescue but virtually all of the 'fact' reported about it are fictitious. You CANNOT give mouth to mouth to a freaking hamster. Hello, mainstream media. Its about as credible as Algore and his dying sister stories or the church-burnings in Arkansas in Clinton's youth.

For some reason, the press has yet to start parsing the anecdotes of the Kerry's like they were forced to do with the Clinton's and Gore's.

19 posted on 09/13/2004 1:02:56 PM PDT by bpjam (I don't know what a neo-con is and neither does anybody else.)
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To: nyconse
>I’m going to reopen an even-deeper wound: The Hamster War


20 posted on 09/13/2004 1:04:41 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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