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Department of Wellness (Kerry wants to create it!)
Kausfiles ^ | 9/9/04 | Mickey Kaus

Posted on 09/09/2004 10:33:20 AM PDT by Cableguy

"Department of Wellness"! Spirit-crushing foolishness from my candidate, John Kerry. The nation is trying to figure out how to fight global terrorism and he's talking about having "not just a Department of Health and Human Services, but a Department of Wellness." How about a Department of F***ing Perspective? If Bush is smart he'll be ridiculing Kerry about this for the rest of the month. ...Thanks, Iowa! P.S.: Was this harmless "Kerrymeandering" or the more ominous "Kerrypandering"?

(Excerpt) Read more at slate.msn.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: kaus; kerry; sitzpinkler; sitzpinklerkerry; wellness
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To: Petronski
Dept. of Liberal Whining
21 posted on 09/09/2004 10:58:56 AM PDT by bmwcyle (<a href="http://www.johnkerry.com/" target="_blank">miserable failure)
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To: IamConservative

Kerry needs somewhere to put his wife if he wins.

Department of Elastomeric Enclosures?


22 posted on 09/09/2004 11:02:40 AM PDT by tbpiper
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To: Cableguy

What about the "Department of Sensitivity"?

What a load!!!


23 posted on 09/09/2004 11:05:38 AM PDT by dave k
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To: Petronski

Ping!


24 posted on 09/09/2004 11:06:29 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: Cableguy
Uh, is this what he had in mind?


25 posted on 09/09/2004 11:09:07 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: fortunecookie

See my #20.


26 posted on 09/09/2004 11:13:14 AM PDT by Petronski (With what? Spitballs!?!)
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To: Petronski
Oops, I read it, but failed to note the poster.

fruitarians

What the hell are fruitarians? Is Tuh-ray-zuh their leader?

27 posted on 09/09/2004 11:18:36 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: Cableguy

Here comes WOW (War on Wellness).


28 posted on 09/09/2004 11:21:36 AM PDT by decimon
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To: Petronski

Hahah,,that is funny. Actually we have a Wellness Dept at LSU run by nattily dressed young women who make posters,pose as health care providers, do yoga, talk about feng shui and get high salaries. I have yet to see anything they do that makes a difference other than having the U congratulate itself on being so "with it"


29 posted on 09/09/2004 11:24:25 AM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Cableguy

OOHhhhHHHHh!!!!

Group hug everyone!

(but if you start singin' Kum Ba Yah, I'll hurt you.)


30 posted on 09/09/2004 11:25:08 AM PDT by najida (Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I am.)
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To: Petronski
It's a little nazi-esque. Ok, a lot. I'm actually overly surprised by this, it is something I had discussed with someone in this vein, "What's next? They monitor our health, our food intake and exercise?" We laughed - and then realized it was just kooky enough for them to try and sell.

I happened to catch Qaeti Khouric this am, by accident, and she was talking to a young woman about (uttered in sinister voice) 'an eating disorder'. Couple that with Dr. Phil's weightloss plans and Oprah and one can see, in a very scary way, how they can be drumming up support for such a debacle. And having a wellness center easily affords them to 'medicate' or 'treat' those with 'disorders' such as political dissenters (in the style of Stalin's forced, thorazine enhanced re-education) and abortions and sterilizations. It could all be closed for discussion and conducted under the umbrella of 'wellness'. Just like the Soviets.

31 posted on 09/09/2004 11:25:11 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: fortunecookie

Qati al-Khouriq? Is she still on television?


32 posted on 09/09/2004 11:26:38 AM PDT by Petronski (With what? Spitballs!?!)
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To: Maria S

Kerry will also want a (Deapartment of Sandwichology), to insure peanut-butter&jelly sandwiches are USDA approved.


33 posted on 09/09/2004 11:28:46 AM PDT by No Surrender No Retreat (These Colors Never Run( 7.62) "See Ya"ll At The VA Clinic" "Xin Loi My Boy")
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To: No Surrender No Retreat

I want a Feng Shui department to make sure our Karma and our shocters are all in line.


34 posted on 09/09/2004 11:36:32 AM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Cableguy

in the words of the Church lady...."isn't that special?"


35 posted on 09/09/2004 11:39:03 AM PDT by Bottom_Gun (Crush depth dummy)
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To: Petronski
If only she had looked this good:

She was scowling and was very tan with much lighter hair and pale, glossy lips. I posted her photo, because I'm not sure many of us actually bother to watch her anymore.

36 posted on 09/09/2004 11:45:42 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: Cableguy

NEXT: Department of Happiness..circa "1984"..


37 posted on 09/09/2004 11:55:19 AM PDT by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole....)
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To: Chummy
How about a Department of Read the Constitution and Follow It Faithfully?

But then, if he'd win God forbid, he'd have to hire Bush!!

Sadly, John Flip-Flop Kerry seems to have this base covered, in his own socialist way.

These (leftie) celebrities 'reading' the constitution really just amounts to them pointing out it's inadequacies so that it can be retooled by the 'great thinkers' they hold in such esteem like Johnny Flip-Flop. You know, the 'constitutionality' of abortion, the unconstitutionality' of gun ownership, well, you get it... And being the civic-minded, grand celebrities that they are and knowing how we strive to emulate them, they can easily win us over, right? Well, all but us 'right wing extremists', but we don't count anyway and they like to say we are the minority...

38 posted on 09/09/2004 11:55:59 AM PDT by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune.)
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To: Cableguy

Since 9-11 was supposedly caused by a lack of imagination, I propose the Dept Of Imagination....."Imagine there's no terrorists....it's easy if you try...."


39 posted on 09/09/2004 11:59:59 AM PDT by NRA1995 (I'm a happy Republican goon)
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To: NRA1995

Now that's a drug induced touchy-feely song. I'd rather group hug, hold hands, dance around in a circle and sing:

Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

(snipped for relevant verses)


40 posted on 09/09/2004 12:14:46 PM PDT by Jaded ((Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain))
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