Posted on 08/28/2004 7:31:15 PM PDT by Valin
ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa, went the the twin engines on John kill em all kerry's boat (real heros have nick names like that). It was a dark and quiet night, John kill em all Kerry turned to his first mate and (in a quiet yet confident voice) said....it's quiet...too quiet I don't like it.
If only we can get a bit farther up river without getting spotted we'll be able to drop off secret agent x-183.
In the blink of an eye the clam of the night was SHATTERED KAPOW KAPOW WOOOOSH BLAM BLAM the night came alive with a song of DEATH! They had sailed into a clever ambush set by Charlie (John kill em all Kerry's long time foe.
The crew strickened with fear and unable to move turned as one to the one man who had the courage, the skill, the WILL to save them.
John kill em all Kerry like a coiled spring leapped into action (That's what heros like to do in these kind of situations) with a sneer on his lips John kill em all Kerry THRUST the throttle forward and mzzz teraza (heros lile john kill em all Kerry like to have names for their boats) LEAPPED like a mighty stallion BAAATTLE STATIONS he shouted! Wakeing as from a dream John kill em all karry's band of brothers to their stations.
BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA sang the quad 50s in a tune that sang death and destruction for Charlie and his commie stooges, BRRRRAAAAAPPPP the 60's spat out a curtain of lead, BOOOOM BOOOOM the 300mm mortars adding their song to the aria of war!
Now the dirty commies would pay for DARING to attack John killl em all Kerry and his All American band of brothes! With a ferral grin John kill em all Kerry shouted DIE COMMIE SCUM! (see hero types like John kill em all Kerry say things like that, they teach them that at hero school).
Just when it looked like one more (glorious) victory for John kill em all Kerry and his gallant band of brothers, KABOOOOM commie frogmen had placed a mine (the sneeky dirty underhanded Khmer rouge bast*rds) on the sleak and deadly mzzz teraza! In a bat of an eyelash john kill em all Kerry know his gallant little steed was done for, Flinging the little mzzz teraza at the nearest nest of vipers John kill em all Kerry CHARGED straight into the muzzels of death. Afraid? Not he, John kill em all Kerry didn't know the meaning of fear
{fear(Function): noun Etymology: Middle English fer, from Old English f[AE]r sudden danger; akin to Latin periculum attempt, peril, Greek peiran to attempt Date: 12th century 1 a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger b (1) : an instance of this emotion (2) : a state marked by this emotion 2 : anxious concern : SOLICITUDE 3 : profound reverence and awe especially toward God 4 : reason for alarm : DANGER synonyms FEAR, DREAD, FRIGHT, ALARM, PANIC, TERROR, TREPIDATION mean painful agitation in the presence or anticipation of danger. FEAR is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage .
DREAD usually adds the idea of intense reluctance to face or meet a person or situation and suggests aversion as well as anxiety .
FRIGHT implies the shock of sudden, startling fear .
ALARM suggests a sudden and intense awareness of immediate danger .
PANIC implies unreasoning and overmastering fear causing hysterical activity .
TERROR implies the most extreme degree of fear .
TREPIDATION adds to DREAD the implications of timidity, trembling, and hesitation.}
The boat rammed into the den of inequity, and leapping from the galllant but doomed craft a 50cal in his right hand his (trusty) M-16 in his left a 5in. cannon strapped to his back John kill em all Kerry LEAPPED into the very heart of the enemyAAAAHHHHHH he cried all the while dealing death to the left and right (hero types do stuff like that all the time, that's why they're hero types)
The (dirty) commies quaked in fear at this (magnificent specimen) All American hero type in a blood lust cried "It's kill em all Kerry! Please don't kill us, John kill em all Kerry would have none of that! Not after thier dastardly attack and mortal wounding of his (beloved) mzzz teraza, DIE YOU DIRTY COOMIS RATS, I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MASSACHUSETTS!
And oh the carnage the ensued, So terrible was his (awesome) wrath that soon after those above him (being jealous of his superior combat skills and the love his band of brothers had for him) sent him back to the good old US of A.
Stay tuned for more advetures of John kill em all Kerry.
Coming soon "John Kerry and the agents of DOOM."
Don't you hate it when those clams shatter?
FOTFL
Could you ping me for the rest of the story?
Kerry and his band of blood brothers advanced on the beach....all around them they could SMELL FEAR from the enemy....they popped an illuminating flare into the dark sky to locate the enemy as they thought they were nearly surrounded...oops they had walked into a freshly used cow pasture behind the EM club....
Now climb down from your keyboards, people are starting to talk.
They were commie clams (and they're the wost kind) so who cares.
dang! you mean it wasn't an innuendo?
He left out Johnf'ns "queep".
BUDDDA, BUDDDA; you read the same comics.
I think the BUDDA BUDDA was the Thompson submachine gun?
Artistic licence.
I grew up on Sgt. Rock of Easy Co....etc.
The prosecution rests your honor.
Same comics enjoyed here. My Uncle had a drug store and I was the "first user" of the entire comic book rack. When he wasn't looking I'd weasel a look at "Men's Magazine" et al. He didn't carry Playboy, so all I saw were breasts with black "bandaids" covering what all my peers said were the good parts. First time I saw a real breast the "black bandaid" flashed through my mind. I regrouped and pressed (no pun intended) on. Pardon my flashback.
Johnny is Back to Save The world Once Again!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvqt9poNuUc
Merci madame, voila le bearded clam.
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