Posted on 08/26/2004 7:57:37 AM PDT by razoroccam
Janet Jackson, who took a lot of flak for her "wardrobe malfunction", claimed that US President George W Bush had deliberately used the incident to distract the country from the Iraq war
(Excerpt) Read more at hindustantimes.com ...
It all began while I was sitting cross-legged in a lotus position (as we Indians often do) when I suddenly left my earthly body. My spirit soared high and far till it ended up at the White House. There, I saw a strange sight.
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Powell and Ashcroft were seated at a table. Powell was speaking.
“We are at a crisis. Things are going a bit too well. The economy is soaring at 9%. All fat people have miraculously become thin and health care premiums are down. All drugs are affordable. Iraq has stabilized to an extent that troops are being besieged by Iraqi’s to go to their houses to eat Kebabs. And Bin Ladin has shaved his hair, become a Buddhist monk, and migrated to Tibet”.
Bush: So what’s the problem?
Cheney: If things go so well, people won’t need politicians any more. We could become like the last of the Mohicans.
“That’s bad.” The all murmured and shook their heads.
Bush: What do the Democrats think?
Rice: We don’t know whom to speak to. There are a whole lot of “has-beens”, and “wanna-be but will never be”. Only Howard Dean seems to be worth something, but every time we call him, he yells “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” and hangs up.
Cheney: We need a crisis. Something that will make people realize the worth of politicians and re-invigorates the political process.
Ashcroft: A moral crisis so we, the vast right-wing conspiracy minded conservatives, can benefit.
They all smiled and said “you’re bad, you’re bad, you know that!”
Rice: That gives me an idea! Why not pin something on Michael Jackson?
Rumsfeld: Nah, he has lost his shock appeal. His sister maybe, but not him
And that is how the conspiracy was hatched. The CIA was mobilized and all agents were assigned on a top secret mission to see how a “moral outrage” would affect the country. James Bond was consulted. His career on the rocks, he was shaken, but not stirred, and he soon gave his operational expertise. The MI-5 secret lab designed a special dress that would fall apart when Justin Timberlake yanked at it. Janet Jackson’s dress was replaced by the MI-5 designed dress. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Now, back to my lotus position.
She's mistaken: Most American males can think about t*ts and war at the same time....
I seen much better breast. She is way too proud of nothing.
Sorry Janet, your nasty dugs just don't do it for me. Might be the fact that a metrosexual like Justin was your boyfriend or maybe it's just the fact that you are related to Michael the Pedophile.
Janetgate: Bush blames nipple
I should have known. Her breast got exposed because of President Bush.
Once again...it's...Bush's fault.
You must realize that Cheney and Rumsfeld will be gunning for you now.
Well Bush had to choose between getting a Monica in the White House or a wardrobe malfunction... he chose the latter.
Those little flapjack mud sacks were disgusting. I've seen nicer looking teets on my weiner dog.
These people are dumber than a bag of hammers
"Why are we rock stars ? Because we're morons !" - the great Alice Cooper
Seriesly
Janet the Bare-Breast Jackson (Song)
(Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer melody)
You know Micheal and Marlon and Jacko and Tito
Randy and Jermaine and Rebbie and LaToya
But do you recall the most famous Jackson of all
Janet the Bare-Breast Jackson, had a very shiney nipple
And finally when she beared it, you would even see it’s pierced
But Janet’s father Joseph, use to scream and steal her Toys
He never let poor Janet, sing with all the Jackson Boys.
Then one foggy super bowl day, MTV came to say
Janet with your breasts so big, won’t you play our half-time gig
Then how the tabloids loved her, and they shouted out with glee
Janet the Bare-breast Jackson, your career is history
I doubt they read FR.
There was no Coverup.
No big deal.
EVERYTHING is Bush's fault!
"If the boob is a floppin', the bombs must be droppin' "
I had to laugh when I saw this last night. I guess Janet missed seeing her name in the news lately.
Frankly, I had forgotten all about the whole incident months ago and so have most people, I think. Have you heard anyone mention it lately? I haven't.. till now.
Round II in the Janet Jackson quest for media coverage. Good thing it was an election year, right, Janet?
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