Posted on 08/07/2004 11:11:39 AM PDT by BeAllYouCanBe
What is a Redneck-Sexual?
It seems that we are bombarded daily with the Kerry Campaign and the Metrosexual campaign he is waging for the heart of the UN lovers and other Europeans. For those of you still not aware a Metrosexual is a heterosexual that has all the good taste of Gay Man but the sexual preference for women. Picking John Edwards as his running mate confirmed that style was more important than substance for Kerry and Metrosexuality was the main plank in JFKs campaign.
So I had to reflect on my own leaning toward Metrosexuality and conclude that I was in fact a Redneck-Sexual. My definition of a Redneck-Sexual is a man or woman who has the tastes of a country boy but is still sensitive enough to love their truck. The Redneck-Sexual is not judged on the choice of clothes and style but by his/her character. A Redneck-Sexual lives in the Red States mainly but there are ones in San Francisco and Vermont and even New York City! A Redneck-Sexual doesnt boycott French products he has never liked them and doesnt think wine of any kind is better than beer.
If a Redneck-Sexual has been in a war and won medals it isnt talked about because mainly it means that if you got a medal someone saw you do something brave. You know as a Redneck-Sexual that the bravest acts you did were things nobody saw but you came home alive and thats all the family cared about. If you got a Purple Heart you had lots of pain and suffering and you dont talk about that either it is part of being an American Soldier/Sailor/Marine.
A Redneck-Sexual is not confused about their sexuality and their damn grateful for the plumbing that the good Lord gave them even though it dont work as good as it once did. But Redneck-Sexuals are grateful for growing old and we dont do Botox, tummy tucks and other such nonsense to try to fool anyone about our age.
When a Redneck-Sexual goes to a farm it isnt important to let the farmer know they were once on a farm. A Redneck-Sexual knows that everyone works and we respect each others labor/job. One job is the same as another to a Redneck-Sexual it is how the family gets fed.
So that then leaves our truck and our love for it. Even though we love our truck with the five American flag bumper stickers and one that says, America Love It OR Leave it, we only use genuine GM Goodwrench parts. We still take time to make sure it stays tuned-up so we dont use too much of that Mid-East oil but that is how a Redneck-Sexual is concerned about the environment and our truck!
So the question then begs to be asked, Is George W. Bush a Redneck-Sexual?
Mornin'! My pleasure. :^D
I love my truck and I ain't afraid to admit it! ;-)
Okay, that's where I draw the line. I'm a Ford man through and through, and so apparently is W. In at least one picture I have seen of him on his ranch he is definitely driving a Ford because you can see the oval on the steering wheel.
Please tell me that's not a real family photo!
What's the difference between a cowboy and a cattleman?
A cowboy has a big belt-buckle on his belly.
A cattleman has a big belly on his belt-buckle.
< har-dee-har-har >
:^D
:^D
bump
I prefer the more politically correct terms:
Cattle-Person and Cow-Hearding-Human-Type I(Sex not specific).
Otherwise it was pretty funny.
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