Okay, I'll bite and start the first couple of lines of the song...
How do you solve a problem like Teresa?
How do you shut her mouth and shout her down?
How do you solve a problem like Teresa?
A flibberty-gibbit, a shrew, a nag, a clown!
Slap a Bush/Cheney sticker on their mouths, that how!
How do you solve a problem like Teresa?
How do you shut her mouth and shout her down?
How do you solve a problem like Teresa?
A flibberty-gibbit, a shrew, a nag, a clown!
Pinging Doug from Upland! Sounds like a thread right up your alley!
Okay, I'll play, but I don't think I'll have to change many of the words. Picking up where you left off.
Many a thing you know she'd like to tell you,
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do keep a flake upon the sand
How do you solve a problem like Teresa
How do you hold a billionaire in your hand
When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I hardly know exactly how she stands
Unpredictable as weather
She's as looney as a lefter
She's a Dem! She's a demon! She's a sham!
She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is senile! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's a nightmare!
She's just plain weird!