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Brats! Why Are So Many Parents Afraid To Say "No?"
LA Times, via Memphis Flyer ^ | July 30, 2004 | Martin Booe

Posted on 08/02/2004 5:49:37 AM PDT by BluegrassScholar

Edited on 08/02/2004 10:43:46 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

Carrie is 2 years old, with curly brown hair and Windex-blue eyes. In a still-life portrait, she would be adorable. In three dimensions, she's a cross between a Gerber baby and the Tasmanian devil. Bang. Bang, bang, bang, and bang and bang.

That's the noise of the plastic water cup she is whacking against the ceramic-topped table of a neighborhood coffeehouse whose concrete floors function like an echo chamber. If she had a hammer she would have destroyed the table by now, and I'm pretty sure her parents would've let her. People look up from their lattes, squint at the diminutive figure making the big, ear-splitting noise, and try to continue with their newspapers or conversations. The banging goes on for a good 10 minutes. Normally, I would say something -- I'm not shy about these things -- but I'm curious to know just how long her parents, with whom I'm having coffee, will let this go. The answer: Indefinitely. They don't even seem to notice. Maybe they're just used to it?

On some primal level, Carrie must be offended that she's not the center of attention. There is anger in her banging, along with what I read as malice. As she grows even more restive, her father lowers her to the floor. Still clutching the cup, Carrie crawls through the room, pounding on the concrete floor as she goes along, giving everyone an up-close earful of her drum solo.

A few weeks later, I'm at a party, mostly adults with a few kids sprinkled in, among them the volcanically unruly 5-year-old son of a friend. As I squat down to greet him, he responds by biting me in the arm, leaving teeth marks through a shirt and a sweater. I am just about to spank his little behind when I realize I'm in dangerous territory. People go to jail for that these days.

Full story . . .


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: brats; childrearing; parenting
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To: sweetliberty

Opps .. sorry

I was to busy ignoring my kids whinning *L*

I'll go read it now


421 posted on 08/15/2004 1:15:02 PM PDT by Mo1 (Kerry & Edwards .... they will leave no Special Interest Group behind)
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To: valkyrieanne
"Brattiness is probably a major cause of our abysmally low birth rates."

Killing several million babies isn't helping it a lot either.

422 posted on 08/15/2004 1:16:39 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: Mo1
"I was to busy ignoring my kids whinning"

LOL!

423 posted on 08/15/2004 1:17:24 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: sweetliberty
OK .. just read it

I can't stand parents like this and I don't have them nor their kids in my house and I don't go to their homes

I tried that whole play date stuff when my oldest was little and she would make friends with the most high maintenance kids I have ever meet and their parents where just as whacky

Sorry .. I'd rather have my eye lashes plucked out then spend a minute with those types of parents and their kids

424 posted on 08/15/2004 1:30:58 PM PDT by Mo1 (Kerry & Edwards .... they will leave no Special Interest Group behind)
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To: Mo1

I hear that. I had several strained friendships over the years Dawn was growing up because my friends would not control their children and would take exception if I tried to (in my own home, mind you). Some of them, I simply had to stop having in my home. It wasn't worth it. And it all boiled down to the parents being overly permissive. Not all of them were liberals either, in fact, most weren't, although I think in general that liberals tend to be more permissive (read, less accountable and therefore less likely to hold their kids accountable) than conservatives, but I think that has to do with our overall approach to life, family and responsibility.


425 posted on 08/15/2004 1:36:58 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: Lazamataz; cyborg

Cy, you need to come over here and make Laz behave. He's embarassing himself.


426 posted on 08/15/2004 1:41:25 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: sweetliberty

That would be like telling the Mississippi River to flow backwards.


427 posted on 08/15/2004 1:42:12 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: cyborg

LOL! Good point.


428 posted on 08/15/2004 1:44:08 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: sweetliberty; AppyPappy
"We have already told our daughter that if she gets a tattoo, we are ALL going to get the same tattoo."

Better hope she doesn't call your bluff. You might look, and feel, rather silly with a butterfly on your butt.

TWO butterflys on his butt. AppyPappy's had the first one for decades.

429 posted on 08/15/2004 1:48:19 PM PDT by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: Lazamataz; AppyPappy
"TWO butterflys on his butt. AppyPappy's had the first one for decades"

Oooooooooo.....

430 posted on 08/15/2004 1:50:37 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: sweetliberty

It comes down to Respect .. respect for others .. respect for other peoples property and respect for one self

These types of parents may think it's cute their kids are behaving so terrible .. what they don't realize they and their kids are the one every talks about .. and it's usually not nice things that are being said

I don't have many rules in my house .. and as you know, I have one of those homes where every kid comes to play .. but one rule I do have is Play nice or don't play at all

If you don't like my home and my rules .. Fine .. then Go Home


431 posted on 08/15/2004 1:54:38 PM PDT by Mo1 (Kerry & Edwards .... they will leave no Special Interest Group behind)
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To: Mo1

Bingo! And funniest thing, most of Dawn's friends liked coming to our house, even the ones who didn't have much disciline at home.


432 posted on 08/15/2004 1:58:51 PM PDT by sweetliberty ("A wise man's heart inclines him to the right, but a fool's heart to the left." (Eccl. 10:2))
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To: Lazamataz
Not mine. I have a nine-year-old son that I have successfully hidden from the world, and when we dine out, he wolf-whistles at the waitresses, orders his food demandingly and ends every order with "and make it fast, Cookie!", and smacks the waitress on the butt every time she walks by.

I smell a sit com in his future! ;)

433 posted on 08/15/2004 2:39:33 PM PDT by locochupacabra (If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.)
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To: Lazamataz
TWO butterflys on his butt. AppyPappy's had the first one for decades.

Those aren't butterflies. Those are your lip marks.

434 posted on 08/15/2004 3:43:10 PM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: sweetliberty
"4. NEVER discipline in anger."

Exactly. Right on the money. I don't know why I forgot to include this, but it is VERY important.

435 posted on 08/15/2004 6:21:23 PM PDT by redhead (I've gone to look for myself. If I return before I get back, keep me here...)
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To: Hildy

You've got guts, Hildy! How many of us have felt the same and remained frozen? I know one day I'm going to snap like you did, I just hope I don't go to jail...LOL!


436 posted on 08/15/2004 6:27:12 PM PDT by avenir (DUEL: The song which fiends and angels sing, word for word.)
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To: avenir

I couldn't believe how angry I was. I don't have children, maybe that's it, but one of my big pet peeves is children being disrespectful to their parents.


437 posted on 08/15/2004 6:29:32 PM PDT by Hildy (John Edwards is to Dick Cheney what Potsie was to the Fonz.)
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To: Dan from Michigan
I know what you mean ------ I am just shocked when I hear this kid talk to his mother...

My kids cannot believe it ---- they know I'd level a little corporal punishment myself

438 posted on 08/15/2004 8:06:19 PM PDT by coder2
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To: webstersII
Thank you for beating me to it. We often give our daughter a choice of 2 or 3 options on certain things. My wife will bring out two outfits that are acceptable for the day, and ask her which one she wants to wear. She gets a sense of control of her destiny while we maintain the ability to frame all of the decisions. And, as you say, if she decides later that she chose poorly, she has to stick with her initial decision and learns a little lesson.

Today was a perfect example. we had a great day, did a liitle shopping and then walked the train tracks to the park and played all afternoon. When it was time for picking up her room before bath, however, she decided to tell me that she wasn't going to pick up her "babies". I then agreed with her and enforced my usual rule of "if I have to pick them up, I keep them". Two pretty little dolls are now packed in the top of my closet for a day or two. There was much crying and pleading and "I'm sorrys", but she knows they don't come back today. It can be hard to convince my wife to stick to the guns, but she gets it.

I definitley was not her favorite peson tonight, but that's OK.

439 posted on 08/15/2004 8:43:49 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: BluegrassScholar

Ignorant parents, and guilt.

ALSO THE SOCIAL SERVICES SYSTEM.


440 posted on 08/16/2004 1:32:52 AM PDT by television is just wrong
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