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I just love it when liberals, leftists, socialists & the brilliant news media enforce their doomed social experiments and then proceed to bitch when it explodes in their faces. |
Posted on 08/02/2004 5:49:37 AM PDT by BluegrassScholar
Edited on 08/02/2004 10:43:46 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Carrie is 2 years old, with curly brown hair and Windex-blue eyes. In a still-life portrait, she would be adorable. In three dimensions, she's a cross between a Gerber baby and the Tasmanian devil. Bang. Bang, bang, bang, and bang and bang.
That's the noise of the plastic water cup she is whacking against the ceramic-topped table of a neighborhood coffeehouse whose concrete floors function like an echo chamber. If she had a hammer she would have destroyed the table by now, and I'm pretty sure her parents would've let her. People look up from their lattes, squint at the diminutive figure making the big, ear-splitting noise, and try to continue with their newspapers or conversations. The banging goes on for a good 10 minutes. Normally, I would say something -- I'm not shy about these things -- but I'm curious to know just how long her parents, with whom I'm having coffee, will let this go. The answer: Indefinitely. They don't even seem to notice. Maybe they're just used to it?
On some primal level, Carrie must be offended that she's not the center of attention. There is anger in her banging, along with what I read as malice. As she grows even more restive, her father lowers her to the floor. Still clutching the cup, Carrie crawls through the room, pounding on the concrete floor as she goes along, giving everyone an up-close earful of her drum solo.
A few weeks later, I'm at a party, mostly adults with a few kids sprinkled in, among them the volcanically unruly 5-year-old son of a friend. As I squat down to greet him, he responds by biting me in the arm, leaving teeth marks through a shirt and a sweater. I am just about to spank his little behind when I realize I'm in dangerous territory. People go to jail for that these days.
That's the real key in raising kids --- they learn by example.
Oh I agree with all of those including #4. When ours were growing up, sometimes I got so mad I expected my head to start spinning and me to spew split pea soup. I always cooled down before disciplining since I didn't want to have to replace that kid I had just disintegrated.
Or like dressage training for a horse and rider. With that training, I don't think the horse ever gets whipped but they are more highly trained than most others. They don't start them on something before they're ready, they keep the lessons short and when a horse isn't in the right frame of mind they stop the lesson or just repeat an earlier lesson.
Applied to kids that means don't take them to an adult function before they're ready, if you make the mistake and think they're ready for something they aren't, just admit it and take them home. I don't think most kids need to be whacked around at all -- most enjoy an evening out with parents but don't do it until they're ready. If they're in a cranky mood get a sitter.
Reminds me of my favorite kids war story.
During the CB craze, my oldest announced that if he couldn't have a brand x, model Y CB radio for christmas, (he was about 13 at the time) he didn't want anything. Of course I could not countenance allowing him to have no presents come Christmas morning, so he received a beautiful, elaborately wrapped....... brick.
For reasons that will be forever unclear, I never had that problem again from him, or from the other two.
He he he he he.
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I just love it when liberals, leftists, socialists & the brilliant news media enforce their doomed social experiments and then proceed to bitch when it explodes in their faces. |
Yup. Have observed "neighbors", their kids and grandkids. There is a lack of discipline, no boundaries set or recognized. Have overheard parents/grandparents telling the kids to hate me because I'm not black, I have boundaries, in my 60's, and have heard parents/grandparents tell the kids "they are going to get rid of me." These kids, as young as 5, perfectly minic the behaviour of the adults. Not letting anybody that young order me around. Well, it's not pretty. To make things worse, the father of these kids is active duty Navy!
I asked the boy to show me where the bathroom was. When we were upstairs, but in earshot of the entire party, I grabbed him and threw him into an empty room. I slammed the door and starting reading him the riot act. I asked him how dare he insult the man whose house he lives in. He was dumbfounded. He tried to get up and I pushed him down. (I'm 5'2" he was probably 5"10") He told me he was going to call the Police, I told him to go right ahead. I demanded he apologize to his Father and to everyone else at the table. He stormed out of the room and starting crying to his parents demanding to know how THEY COULD ALLOW ME TO SPEAK TO HIM LIKE THAT. To their credit, they told him they agree with me and that is how he treats them all the time. I told him that when he apologized to everyone I would leave. He went ahead and apologized to everyone and then his parents told me they wanted me to stay, which I did. The kid stormed off to his bedroom.
The next day the Mother called me and said that although she wasn't crazy about my tactics, she was glad it happened because they started really talking about the problems they'd been having in the house.
P.S.: I've never been invited over again.
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What's really amazing is parents who won't say no, or enforce discipline, even when the child in engaging in dangerous behavior (e.g., playing around the stove, throwing potentially harmful objects, running in crowded rooms, etc.). In these instances, cessation of certain behaviors needs to be immediate for obvious reasons.
Selfish yuppie Upper West Side parents refuse to do this. Sometimes I think they are sadistic. The restaurant equivalent of running a stroller into your ankles.
Better hope she doesn't call your bluff. You might look, and feel, rather silly with a butterfly on your butt. 
I have often been tempted to offer to do it for them.
When my daughter was in her early teens, she wanted to go spend the night at a friend's house. The family went to our church and I had worked with the histrionic mom in counseling ( and that was the LEAST of her problems). She was very permissive with her kids and definitely thought I was too strict with mine. Anyway, in this particular instance (I can't remember all the details) I discovered that my daughter had been less than honest and thought she was getting away with something by getting to stay with this other girl. I immediately called and said I was coming over there to pick my daughter up. I was angry, but never have I ever lost control when I was angry and anybody who knew me knew that.
Anyway, when I get to their house, she will not allow me to have my daughter. I was livid. I went immmediately to the store and called 911 on the pay phone. When I gave them the address, they informed me that they'd already had a call at that address. I went back over there to find cops all over the place and they would not allow me access to my child. This b*tch had told them she was afraid I was going to do something to her. They took ME to jail. After a few hours they let me go. I guess they figured they didn't have anything to hold me on and I'm quite sure she told them that I had never been abusive to her. Needless to say, my daughter NEVER was allowed to go back to that house before she was grown.
Bring up the subject of children in public places and you will find a number of recurring complaints. There is, for example, the all-too-familiar scenario described by Layla Revis of Hollywood, California: "I was watching Cold Mountain, and there was a couple sitting in the middle of the theater with a 3-year-old girl. Naturally, the kid flipped out during the first battle scene and cried for a half-hour. Then, finally, somebody yelled, 'Take your kid outside,' and the whole theater started applauding."
I've stopped going to theatre showings because of this. I've seen people bring their infants, only a few weeks old, to the theatre. And they think it's cute when the infant cries. Sheesh.
You'd be surprised at some of the things people will call for.
A lot of people have made such comments, and granted, there are times that that is the best solution. I think it is bad to make a habit of it, though, because then you are giving the child control of the situation. I'm not saying you should allow them to be a nuisance to other people, but to give up and go home whenever a child acts up in public just tells the child that if he doesn't like where he's at or that you're not paying enough attention to HIM, he can just act up and he will get to go home, or someplace else.
I agree with the poster who said that the best way to deal with it is not to have different rules of behavior for home and in public. Sure, it's fine to expect them to be on their BEST behavior in public, but they should behave at home as well, then they don't have to adjust to a new set of rules when they go somewhere. There should be consistency in what is expected of them, no matter where they're at, and some behaviors simply should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Having rules that demand better behavior in public also sends the message that strangers are more deserving of respect and consideration than family.
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All I can think of there is a John Wayne quote.
"Kids need to know that dogs bite. Well. He learned." Probabaly works for cats too.
Mo and BG, I can't believe that after over 300 posts, I still haven't seen y'all on this one. I'm sure you have input.
Needless to say, this kid is a major brat at 18 ---- he tells his mom to f'off at frequent intervals.
Damn, if I did that at 18(or ever), I'd be receiving an Irish style beating courtesy of my dad.
Hell, older kids should beat the hell out of those that tell their mom to f'off, not be the ones to tell them to f'off.
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