Dems the fakes -- Patriotism feigns supreme at Democratic Convention

It is astonishing to watch the Democratic Party's convention. Mainly because of their attempts to look like Republicans.

Anyone wearing a military uniform is spotlighted. Kerry himself, who spent less than a year in Vietnam -- by reporting any slight flesh wound to his superiors for the dual purpose of getting medals and meeting the "three-wounds, you get to go home" rule -- even gave the crowd a military salute.

This from the man, who when he returned home from Vietnam, denounced the U.S. military as war criminals.

Even Bill Clinton, the first draft-dodger president, talked about Kerry's war record. The only thing Kerry didn't do was declare war on some country right from the podium.

Just as astonishing was that the Democratic delegates, and their friends in the liberal media, cheered every minute of it.

No party has a monopoly on patriotism -- though the Democrats' slavish respect for the UN does raise fair questions about where their sovereign loyalties lie. Democrats usually denounce patriotism as too arrogant, or too right-wing, or not nuanced enough.

Kerry once claimed he had the support of foreign leaders -- likely, he meant France. Only a Democrat would brag that he was the favourite of a foreign power.

But the fact is -- according to every poll since 9/11 -- the American public, while concerned about the war on terror and the situation in Iraq, wants to win that war, and that the war remains their most pressing issue.

That is a challenge for the Dems, who have been anti-military since Vietnam. There is not one major military system that John Kerry didn't oppose while in the Senate, from missiles to bombers to infantry fighting vehicles -- the very tools that America now relies on today.

According to a New York Times poll, 93% of delegates to the Democratic convention oppose the war.

But the American people don't, and despite the hysterics of the Democrats' Michael Moore/Howard Dean wing, the kind of anti-Bush, anti-war, anti-military hatred that Democrat activists feel won't work on election day -- it will result in a George McGovern-style blowout at the polls.

Michael Moore is a sharpie -- a millionaire Manhattanite who pretends he's a blue-collar schlep. But he doesn't convince many blue-collar voters, who know that, whatever his flaws, George W. Bush is taking the war seriously; his Dem opponents still believe it's September 10th. A Moore-style convention and election would thrill the media, but would re-elect Bush with a Reaganesque landslide.

Thus, the strange contradiction of the Democratic convention. Peaceniks applauding war talk. Kerry, who voted against funding for the troops in Iraq, now claims he'll increase the troop count there. And the party that would have surrendered to the Soviets now wants America to take it seriously on foreign affairs.

The Democrats don't deserve that trust. It is easy for free-riders like Canada and Europe to despise America, while benefiting from America's security shield, first against the Soviets, and now against Islamic terror.

The worst comeuppance that Canada faces for our insults and pacifism is a border closed to beef and softwood lumber -- damaging, but not an existential threat. America, the only superpower, but more accurately the only grown-up country these days, cannot afford that luxury. Canadians and liberals around the world can afford to despise America's strength, because we secretly know America will always protect us.

Real Americans don't have that childish luxury. That's why the Democrats are pretending they care about security.

Just as astonishing was that the Democratic delegates, and their friends in the liberal media, cheered every minute of it.

The pivotal event of societal evolution was the invention of beer. This epochal event was both the foundation of modern civilization and the occasion of the bifurcation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so it was necessary to stick close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbecues and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement . An interesting evolutionary side note: some of these early liberal men eventually evolved into women.

Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives became to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the wild west was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends the lesson in world history

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