Posted on 07/31/2004 5:47:01 PM PDT by longshadow
Thanks to an audio feed snafu on CNN at the end of Sen. Kerry's speech, in which the Democrat’s convention producer could be heard giving frantic directions to underlings, in order to assure that the American public had no doubts about the important “message” Democrats wanted to communicate to us, the pithy sound bite that will forever immortalize the 2004 Democrat National Convention/Presidential campaign rang out like the “shot heard ‘round the world” from a Boston suburb some 229 years earlier:
While arguably not quite as inspirational as the specter of a resolute Minuteman toting a musket on Lexington Green, grimly urging his fellow patriots onward while facing death at the hands of British regulars, it will doubtless reign as the single most intellectually exciting remark uttered during the 2004 Democrat National Convention, a convention constituted out of hot-air and pre-fabricated, pre-packaged, pre-digested, and pre-defecated, vacuous, sickly sweet-but-calorie-free rhetoric; a veritable “Atkins Diet” of geo-political sizzle instead of national security and foreign policy steak and potatoes. The Democrats even spent the entire week completely out of character, stifling their own internal Full Monty rage, animosity, and hatred -- not to mention their perennial “We are the World,” class-warfare, evil conspiratorial multi-national conglomerate corporation, big-government-is-great goofiness -- in order to try to sell their sycophants in the media, and the suckers in the American voting public, a Magical Michael Moore-style “Balloon World” fantasy, and it looks like they nominated the perfect “Balloon Candidate” to do it.
The box office this summer may be all about the “Manchurian Candidate,” but this election, at least for the Democrats, is all about the “Balloon Candidate” and his focus-group fantasy: a rubberized infinitely-elastic pol who can expand and contract to fit on any side of an issue, inflated with hot air and bullsh*t, and signifying absolutely nothing (save for the wanton avarice for raw power, and a visceral loathing for whomever currently wields it.)
One can only hope that the Bush campaign ought to hire people dressed in “Bozo the Clown” outfits to follow Kerry/Edwards around everywhere they go, handing out free balloons emblazoned with:
Oh, yes; let's not forget to include balloons with Kerry's picture in the “bunny” suit at NASA plastered on one side, and the Official 2004 DNC/Kerry-Edwards campaign theme on the other:
On that fateful April night in 1775, Paul Revere sounded thus the alarm that heralded to Boston, and to the world, the incipient independence of a new nation, founded on the principles of individual liberty:
And on a July night 229 years later, the Democrats, via CNN, sounded thus the alarm that heralded to Boston, and to the world, the intellectual high point of Sen. John F. Kerry's presidential campaign:
What hath the Democrats, and their focus groups, wrought? A “Balloon Candidate,” for a “Balloon world.”
You want the clowns and the balloons together at the end. Getting the clowns rounded up is supposed to be the hard part. Getting the balloons onto them is supposed to be easy.
Could somebody please re-dub the soundtrack at the end of Kerry's speech, and as the convention producer franticly screams "More BALLOONS! MORE BALOONS!!!....." slowly bring up the song "Send in the Clowns", reaching full volume as the celebration culminates?
"99 Red Balloons...
We need to see more red balloons!
Where the hell are my red ballons?
Just when will the f***king red balloons fly by?!?"
Balloon bounce bump!
That would be rich:
"Helium? Who said to fill those effing balloons with Helium?!?"
"'S'what it sez on the job order and invoice, mac. Balloons: 100,000. Red/White/Blue mix. Helium-filled."
"Well, who the hell put THAT request in? I want a name, damnit!"
"Sez here: Joe. Joe... Mama, Assistant to the Events Organizer, DNC."
"Noooooo...!!!"
I can't wait for the cartoons. Falling balloons with "Kerry's Presidential Hopes" written on them. First a trickle, then a flood.
Balloon person, living in her balloon world.
Evening bump.
Likewise, I'm sure.
The balloon incident is begging for a coffee cup with something like:
"If you're in charge of balloon drops...
Only one cup per day."
Monday morning bump.
LOL!!
It would be reminiscent of Hillary Clinton's ill-fated "Health Care Bus Tour," when a tow truck towing a broken-down bus labeled "Hillary-care" shadowed her bus at every stop, until finally in desperation, the WH stop publisizing the location of her appearances and only allowed "invited guests" (read: labor unions goons and welfare whales) to attend them.
This would be a good project for you. And it sounds like a neat way to meet girls. Take a laptop with you, and give us reports from the road.
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