"Licorice saved my life more times than I care to remember when we were in 'Nam. I figure I owed him one."
Posted on 07/30/2004 10:05:26 PM PDT by neverdem
Licorice Speaks (as channeled by John Edwards):
After the first five seconds, I was okay. After another five seconds I sensed I was wet and headed for trouble. After another five seconds I thought "I'm not doing well here." After another 20 seconds, my eyes got REALLY BIG and I thought 'whoa! I'm going to be eaten by this huge ugly bunny with big buck teeth!' But then he started to pump my chest and breathed into my mouth. Ay carramba! Hey coulda used some Scope! Well, needless to say, I survived so I could continue to be terrorized by this clumsy chick who should have known better than to take a hamster to a dock. What the hell was she thinking anyway? Why can't parents be more judicious when putting our welfare in the hands of children?
That's why I sued the operators of the dock, the builders of the dock, the manufacturers of my shoebox, the Kerry children as well as that big ugly bunny who tried to save my life. After that experience, there's no way I'm ever going to live a normal life and I deserve to be compensated to the tune of $4.8 million dollars of which my attorney will receive $3.2 million of it. Any questions should be directed to my attorney, Mr. Edwards.
Good catch .. it does
Colin McEnroe is a pompous,elitist liberal jerk.
Who said Socks... You remember the Clinton Cat don't you??? I'm a hamster, not an intern.
"Be REAL glad you weren't a Gere pet."
Laughinhg too hasdr to type peoperly! Wat a visusl!! Tahks for this one! :(:)
And that bottom feeding John Edwards will be working hard to give Hamsters equal rights as every man woman or child.
More and more I am suspicious that Kerry & Edwards' wifes are a ruse for the real reason there is a Kerry/Edwards ticket. Everytime they are in the same photo they look attracted towards each other.
Now with a pet hamster it all makes sense. I won't go there, I won't touch that... literally!
And don't you just KNOW that poor Licorice had to go through this harrowing experience TWICE! The original and the 8 mm-filmed re-enactment.......
"Aaaaannndddd ACTION!!!"
Clips are right below your post. ;)
OH MY GOSH!!!! LOLOLOL!!!!
I usually don't post humor, but enough funny comments were generated on the thread that I thought I should share. Anyone who wants off my lists, let me know.
Yes.
Considering the fate of Buddy, thank god Licorice didn't belong to the Clintoons.
"Be REAL glad you weren't a Gere pet."
Okay, I've pretty well regained my composure, but I'm still laughing about this.
Actually, your post has been very enlightening...I initially assumed that John Kerry was simply trying to re-create the birthing process, but now I suspect that his "bunny suit" escapade was a diabolical, self-serving attempt to re-enact the Gere/gerbil debacle. It's not enough that Kerry is talking out of both sides of his mouth where the Vietnam veterans vs. anti-war activists are concerned. No, now he is shamelessly trying to commandeer the hamster vote by duping them into believing that he shares their experiences.
My daughter and I always wanted to do a calendar of hamsters dressed up as a: gang-ster; mini-ster; rap-ster; mon-ster; sport-ster; bari-ster; road-ster; mob-ster; burgermei-ster; jes-ter...you get the picture.
Great idea! You can also feature a hamster standing in a pile of his own pellets and staring at a photo of John Kerry. Your picture could be called Dump-ster. ; )
bttt
Kerry's daughter is mistaken. He didn't give the hamster CPR. What really happened is Kerry was on LSD, hallucinated that the hamster was John Edwards and was trying to make out with it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.