That is until SHE decides there may be greener grass on the other side. Then everything falls apart, because she takes him to the cleaners, he starts drinking heavily, and doesn't give a rat's ass about his job.
Posted on 07/28/2004 4:40:28 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback
Do men still want to get married? Or has a culture of casual sex and cohabitation made men lose all interest in marriage? A new report from Rutgers University provides some fascinating insights into a subject that’s often misunderstood.
Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe in “The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why”—part of Rutgers’s annual “State of Our Unions” report—write that we know less than we think we do about young men and their attitudes toward marriage. They note that young married men are hardly ever portrayed in popular culture, as if there are none. “Yet . . . in 2002, there were 9.5 million married men between the ages of 25 and 34. And contrary to the popular stereotype, the typical thirty-something guy is a married guy.”
Moreover, many men in the 25-to-34 age group have positive feelings about marriage. Ninety-four percent of young married men that the authors surveyed “say that they are happier being married than being single.” And although many of the young single men in the survey planned to delay marriage for a while, only one in five does not intend to marry.
It’s encouraging to know that so many younger men still hold marriage in high regard. As Whitehead and Popenoe point out, marriage changes men in ways that dating and cohabitation don’t. Being married improves men’s health, finances, job success, and other aspects of their lives. And in turn, the authors say, “marriage includes a norm of male altruism.” It teaches men to put their family’s needs ahead of their own and encourages them to work to better their society.
Unfortunately, there’s also some bad news here. Our culture still isn’t doing a very good job of preparing men for marriage. Men are freely offered alternatives, like cohabitation, that damage their attitudes toward women as well as their understanding of marriage. This may be why the evidence suggests that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce.
So it’s worth asking what factors encourage men to get married and help them build successful marriages. What Whitehead and Popenoe found isn’t surprising: Men with strong religious faith and men raised in intact two-parent families “are significantly more likely to marry and to have positive views of marriage and family life.” Interestingly, men from traditional families also had a better view of women than did young men from single-parent households.
These findings are backed up by a recent book titled Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands. Author W. Bradford Wilcox analyzed an enormous amount of data about three groups: conservative Protestants, mainline Protestants, and those with no religious affiliation. He came to a conclusion that doesn’t surprise us: that is, conservative Protestant men come closest to the ideal of what a husband and father should be. Contrary to popular stereotypes, these men are more affectionate and more “engaged emotionally” with their wives and children. Their faith directly inspires their view of their role in the family.
So there’s no need to despair just yet about the state of marriage. There are still quite a few men out there who are “the marrying kind”—men inspired by their Christian worldview.
That is until SHE decides there may be greener grass on the other side. Then everything falls apart, because she takes him to the cleaners, he starts drinking heavily, and doesn't give a rat's ass about his job.
"These findings are backed up by a recent book titled Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands. Author W. Bradford Wilcox analyzed an enormous amount of data about three groups: conservative Protestants, mainline Protestants, and those with no religious affiliation. He came to a conclusion that doesn’t surprise us: that is, conservative Protestant men come closest to the ideal of what a husband and father should be. Contrary to popular stereotypes, these men are more affectionate and more “engaged emotionally” with their wives and children. Their faith directly inspires their view of their role in the family."
Now as a Mom, I still adore my Dad. He is a warm, protective and loving man. He worked hard but his family is his pride and joy. He is also a Protestant.
"Many feel why by the milk if you can get the cow for free."
True and why males won't marry the cow that gives it our for free. If per chance they do marry a cow, it won't last long. The "free milk cow" only serves to cheapen women.
Do you know any Americans dating any Iranians or marrying them?
Out here, my sister wasn't the only case. When I would bring up the story of my sister in conversation, I would almost always get back that they at least know someone who had the same experience.
Like I said, best to stick to marrying Americans. Anyone of any nationality that are born here are more likely to be equally yoked with you.
re: when a foreign woman becomes "Americanized"...
A good film that explores this and other issues is Heaven & Earth, 1993. Tommy Lee Jones & Hiep Thi Le.
But I also recognize not all Iranians are alike, any more than all Americans are. Perhaps we've just managed to travel in different circles. (I'm of an age where "dating" is no longer a common practice, for example...)
And this I will agree too: Marrying within your culture makes for fewer difficulties than marrying outside. (I want to explicitly make that "culture," not "nationality," because even within a country, including the U.S., there can be significant cultural differences. Though I lived in CA at the time, I preferred my down-East Yankee girl.) But I've seen couples from quite disparate backgrounds make a successful go of it regardless.
I've never met a single conservative minded woman; Plenty of liberals and feminists; but no conservatives... Been there done that...
Going to be 50 in September; and I'm single with a great job in the Big Sky but I've given up; thrown in the towel (years ago)... Much to my Mom and sisters chagrin...
I'm tired of the chase, the falsehoods, and the pretenses; and the always shifting lines of appeasement.
I'll be a bachelor the rest of my life; I accept that. I'll never grovel or bend to a liberal feminist again.
My name is Mr. Solo
Opposite of what my single girlfriends think and I live in San Diego. Men that won't commit and are to selfish...
I don't know where the breakdown is....
Opposite of what my single girlfriends think and I live in San Diego. Men that won't commit and are to selfish...
I don't know where the breakdown is....
That's totally un-true...I'm married to a sports fanatic he is addicted to Baseball, and Plays Softball every weekend, I use to go in the beginning but not anymore
Just don't like to spend my whole day sitting on the ball field...He wishes I would like sports more than I like being on Free Republic but what can I say I don't I do like Football but I can't see Baseball, Football, Hockey, Basketball, Tennis, Golf, 24/7 and on top of that ESPN...
My experience was that once I purchased my first cow after receiving considerable free milk, the amount of milk decreased while the amount of BS increased.
I want my friend to do the same on FR. She is 35 not married has never been would really like to get married and children before age 40...Very pretty slim and bubbuly personality, she decided to change careers and is going to school to be a massage therapist....She doesn't drink or smoke and her worst quality is she sometimes harps on a subject too long but shes' getting better...
Encouraging her to be a lurker.....
I always thought I would find the fullfillment I needed by getting married but it never happened,the only thing that really satisfied my heart and soul is when I embraced my Christian Faith with deep conviction and that makes my marraige better because I realize that a human being can only do so much, where GOD can do all of it... ....
The Key to Ultimate happiness is GOD, Nature and your pets...
If your not raising children your spouse is a companion that should be your best friend....
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