Discovering DITS: Democrat Induced Tourette's Syndrome

American Digest ^ | July 27, 2004 | Gerard Van der Leun

[Destructor]

The poster boy for D.I.T.S. is Michael Moore of "Fahrenheit 911" fame.

[AZamericonnie]

It's "Kerrette" syndrome.

[RikaStrom]

Oh my, check this out!

DITS is right!

[Howlin]

We are not alone.

[xsmommy]

i KNEW IT! but mine was provoked during the Clinton administration, but has now spread to the whole lot of them.

[prion]

By ones, by twos, by the vanload, by the busload and trainload, virtually every person within a hundred mile radius who had Tourette's syndrome, began to arrive at the museum and buy tickets, or in the case of extreme twitchiness, have them purchased for them by their designated driver.

Oh, dear. Oh dear oh dear. This was worth reading just to put this picture in my head.

[commish]

All it takes is mentioning a Democrat and I SCUM SUCKING BETWETTING WHINE ASS STUPID LIBERAL BRAINFARTING CLYMERS! suffer a DITS attack.

[humblegunner]

DITS is right!

I've taken to cleaning the guns when watching the news.
Very comforting.

[Annie03]

Thanks for the ping! For the first time ever, I am unable to bear watching the DNC...I've already had enough of the lot of them. My DITS manifested itself sometime during primary season :)

[TASMANIANRED]

I haven't watched a second of it, I don't want to be accused of bulemia.

I have found when watching Fox , it makes me feel better if when Estrich, Begalla or one of the other puke provokers appears that I either pinch their heads off or do the eye poke.

Doesn't accomplish much but I do get to vent my fury in a socially concious way.:-{}

[reformedliberal]

Thanks for the ping. I feel the induced syndrome coming closer, daily.

[Spiff]

Is there some kind of support group or government program for this disorder? Man, do I need to get in contact with them...


DITS Sufferer

[Bahbah]

"an ordinary sentence such as "Perhaps, after all, the Democrats are fit to rule." is unwilling stated as "Perhaps, after BOOGERBUGGER! FATASS! all the C**PF**K! ASSHATS! Democrats are WEINERBUGGERS! fit to RAMMERHARDER! DITZBREATH MONGOMUFFINSB***ME rule SWEET F**K ALL! ..... sorry, sorry, please excuse, .... excuse... pity... poor Gollum, yes precious?"

I just discovered that, if you read the above in a situation where you MUST NOT LOL, you can do harm to yourself.

[LisaFab]

Good one. Thanks.

Is today's live thread up for us convention zombies yet?

[Howlin]

Just put it up.

[Kate of Spice Island]

I have suffered from DITS since the Clinton years and may have first displayed symptoms when Jimmy Carter won the election in '76.

This ailment can be minimized by surrounding yourself with FReepers and using self-management techniques.

If that fails, purchase as many pillows as you can during the Winter White Sale and a box of ammo for your favorite handgun and then plaster pillows with pictures of the most offensive of Democrats and string from clothesline for target practice. Pounding a pillow is just not sufficient in the worst of DITS cases and major therapy is recommended.

[Not A Snowbird]

Thank heavens. My DITS kicked in big time last night, and it's also interfered with my daily radio talk show listening. I simply can't hurl obscenities at the radio while in the workplace, it's bad form.

[firewalk]

Yes, I am the man who now finds himself swearing at his television.

This guy just started doing this now?...
thanks for the ping (-:

[AnnaZ]

Bastidge stole my line.

 

;^)