Posted on 07/12/2004 1:50:33 PM PDT by Tailgunner Joe
At the recent United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women, the focus was on the role of men and boys in achieving gender equality. The bottom line was clearly stated: We must nurture boys into developing more feminine characteristics -- gentleness, compassion and tenderness, among others -- and train them away from the more typically male aggressive and competitive behaviors.
Now, there is nothing wrong with masculine gentleness, compassion and tenderness. Likewise, there is nothing wrong with teaching boys to be kind, considerate and thoughtful. There is also nothing wrong with competitiveness or aggressiveness within bounds. For girls as well as boys, those qualities are essential for leadership and for achieving one's goals though, for Christians, they must be governed by appropriate motivation and exercised under the authority of Scripture.
And, there is definitely nothing wrong with masculinity (boys being boys and men being men) or with femininity (girls being girls and women being women).
Strangely but predictably, given the distorted visions of life in the post-modern era, there are those who advocate a blurring of the distinctions between masculinity and femininity. We are familiar with the radical feminists' attempts to teach girls to act like the guys. Now there is a concerted effort to mainstream the feminization of boys.
I spent the first 10 years of my life living near my grandparents and my father's four younger brothers. I heard dozens of tales about the escapades of those five Shaw brothers and, from the accounts, my dad and his brothers certainly fit the description of boys by one psychologist who called them "little aggression machines." The mischief of my dad and his brothers was tolerated (and often encouraged) by my grandfather; but he also established boundaries and meted out decisive punishment when the boys found ways to sneak around the rules. In the process of taming those troublemakers while cherishing their masculinity, my grandfather taught them how to become men. Each of the four older ones volunteered for service in WWII in different branches of the service, thus becoming members of the "greatest generation." These fine men illustrate that the liberals lie when they say that such boys will become abusive and controlling as adult men.
There is more and more research indicating that my father's and uncles' development, under the watchful eye and Godly guidance of my grandfather, was just "the way it's supposed to be" -- confirmed by the neurological patterns to the hormonal testing, from the psychological analyses to the behavioral studies. And a wide variety of authors are addressing the issue. James Dobson wrote Bringing Up Boys. Christina Hoff Sommers wrote The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism is Harming Our Young Men. Stephen Rhoads wrote the newly released and destined for best-seller status, Taking Sex Differences Seriously. The common theme of these books is that sex differences are hard-wired into human beings and that culture and nurturing have only minor influence on the development of those traits typically associated with masculinity and femininity.
Despite the overwhelming evidence that boys ought to be allowed to be boys, efforts to make little boys more "feminine" have become part of the national culture and accepted policy. Formal efforts can be traced from the passage in 1994 of the Gender Equity in Education Act. This legislation poured many hundreds of millions of dollars into efforts to end so-called bias against girls. Sadly, the "evidence" of bias was based on a study from the early 1980s. It was soundly discredited only after it had been widely accepted as fact and after having made headlines in the major media, creating a massive policy response that continues today. In spite of its blatant falsehoods, the "findings" of that long-ago flawed study are still part of "conventional wisdom."
Today, while many of the gender stereotypes that caused problems for girls are now reversed, the emphasis has swung so far in the opposite direction that we are seeing equal problems today for boys. As a consequence, boys are falling further and further behind girls in academic achievement, and more and more of them are growing up uncertain about how to express their masculinity. Tragically, this leaves many young women of the present generation who desire nothing so much as a husband and family without men who qualify.
Worse still is that the submerged but testosterone-fueled maleness of young boys - deprived of positive role models of disciplined, restrained manhood - can explode in the horrific ways they continually hear described in misogynist rap music and see vividly depicted in violent movies and on television. Little wonder that little boys who grow up without fathers turn into predatory males who women have good reason to fear and loathe.
Far from providing solutions to the problem of male aggressiveness through the proper socialization that has occurred for centuries in the bosom of marriage and family, the feminist vision, which goes completely against nature, is a recipe for disaster. Foolish feminism includes encouraging females to act like aggressive, promiscuous and uncommitted males, à la the popular television shows Sex in the City and Friends. At the same time, those same foolish feminists argue that women are not inherently vulnerable; they pretend that they don't have to protect themselves from the violence engendered among boys and men who have been raised without male socialization or role models.
All this would be laughable and absurd were it not for the disastrous effects produced in the United States and throughout the Western world as a consequence of this vision. It is being embraced as the normative ideal by so many educated but self-absorbed women.
This is such drivel. Our nation is too feminized as it is. We as a nation has spent so much time exploring its "softer side"; we've forgotten how to be hard. Do you think, for example, if Al Qaeda had attacked Ancient Sparta or any part of Ancient Greece, or Ancient Rome, or even World War II America, there would be all this naval-gazing, hand-wringing, or discussions about how "it's all our fault?" I think not.
france has alot of flowers right???need to have a good gila suit to hold flowers i suppose.
I've always heard it said, if there isn't a daddy in the home serving as the proper role model, get some other family member or a family friend to spend time with your son. But if there is a daddy in the home, it's his responsibility to be the role model.
Since we're on the subject, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the radical femizons for raising a generation of utterly unattractive females: not so much physically but mentally unattractive.
Seriously, if I want to date someone who thinks and behaves like a guy, I'd date a guy.
Actually, my daughter is the one that likes to build things. We just moved to a new house. My husband took down our old swingset, and my daughter was the one that helped the whole time. My son and my other daughter got bored helping.
I'm one of those girls that does have spatial handling. I have a degree in engineering, so I'm pretty handy.
Bump 4 book mark
As a very young girl, I did not like to play with dolls and tea sets. I don't even remember this, but the first time I received a baby doll from a relative at Christmas, I tossed it in anger at the offending relative, with remarkable accuracy, having hoped for something more "outdoorsy". When I learned from adults that the purpose of all that "fru-fru stuff" was to prepare girls for eventual motherhood, I relaxed, because I knew even then that motherhood wasn't to be for me. Thank God my immediate family didn't "push it". They were somewhat ahead of their time (and the "feminist movement") in that respect.
Regarding "spatial abilities" being unique to boys, well that's rubbish too, of course. As is the closely related myth of all "tomboy" girls being dykes-in-training. My (very male) husband has been giving me tools for all of our 18 years of marriage. I still occasionally have to show him which way a wrench gets turned, since he grew up with landlords who always had those things taken care of, but he is learning. I need him to take care of the financial details of our life, as math is not, and has never been, my forte. Our unique abilities complement each other. There is a pot for every lid and a lid for every pot, as they say.
No relatives around we're in California, and they are in Texas.
We did Cub Scouts for awhile, but his den got disbanded.
I think I'll get him in Boy Scouts when he's in middle school (next year).
He's not like my brothers. He's more like my husband. Neither of them like sports. They are into computers.
Caution
Do not put light oil in the barrel of an air rifle
[Unless you want more fps]
How many of the real feminist know about fixing an engine, or know anything technical?
Most of the feminist I know of are into literature and other liberal arts.
I'm a SAHM and I have a degree in engineering. I'm a very technical person (that's why I'm on the computer way tooooo much). I don't know of many feminists that are into science and technology.
My daughter has a speech disorder. She only started talking at about 5 1/2 (she's almost 8 now).
When she was about 3 or 4, we went to McDonald's with another family. The little boy was bugging my daughter. I told him to stop bothering her because she couldn't tell him to leave her alone.
I warned him that if he didn't stop, she would either hit him or bite him and she wouldn't get in trouble for it.
I warned him, and I figure that she was protecting herself from being pushed around at a McDonald's playground. It was her way of communicating.
I received a sexist upbringing, but I no longer follow it. I've been in New York too long. I have cussed out people like that, so that their ears turned red. (And a lot of those people were black, so that took some doing!) When I taught college, I told my students that on the street, I did not talk the same way I did in the classroom. Dirtbags see restraint as a sign of weakness.
My son knows why dad is not around much. My husband lost his job last December, and started a new one in January. I've been the one explaining that it is much better to have Dad working hard than to not have a job at all. We continually say prayers of thanks that Dad has a job.
My husband also takes my son with him as much as possible when he has to run errands on the weekend. We also let my son stay up late during the summer so that he has some time with Dad.
I guess that is one of the biggest lessons my son will ever learn: to work hard so that there is a mom at home to take care of the kids.
Oh, don't get harsh.
I never liked dolls until I was advancing into puberty. Then I would set up my dolls (that I had ignored until then) around my tea table that my lovely grandpa had repainted for me.
I always wanted to have children and be a Mrs. Cleaver type. I have always hated working (and I have had very aggressive jobs.) I like being home. I like cooking. I like knitting. I can take care of myself, but for what purpose? I'd rather take care of my children and my husband.
I'm not making any judgements about peoples life choices. Indeed, I am pleased that you realized motherhood was not for you.
Gramsci and his heirs in the Frankfurt School continue to go underestimated.
He needs more of a mental type activity then from the sounds of things is he more of a thinker? What about models or some hands on hobby like that? I would let him explore different activities that could interest him and go from there. Work with his natural inclinations as far as activities go.
That is the problem with Boy Scouts (even Cub Scouts). The den disbanded, and they needed another den leader. Besides my son I have twin girls. I'm already a Brownie leader. I can't be active in both girl and boy scouts, so we stopped doing Cub Scouts.
When the girls are old enough to stay at home by themselves, then it might be easier to do Boy Scouts.
Why are you so defensive? Of course women have spatial skills.
I was a real hard ass feminist many years ago and I knew a LOT of girls (gad! the word!) who could fix an engine or their vacuum cleaner.
Hang me now. I have an MBA.
You know feminists that are technical?
Like I said, most of the feminists that I know of are not technical.
Most of the technical women that I know of are very feminine republican women. Maybe because I went to college with most of the technical women, and I went to Texas A&M 20 years ago, and most everyone was
pretty darn conservative.
Now, I'm in California and the feminists are those up in Beserkley doing their women studies. They have a hard time with calculus or chemistry.
?? I don't think I was being harsh or accusing you of being judgmental; in fact, I thought you were one of the common-sense voices, and I was agreeing with your sentiments while realizing we have both made different choices in life! ;-)
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