Posted on 07/11/2004 2:59:32 AM PDT by Happygal
It's going through the motions of embracing the gender revolution. But the fact that women's lib was/is led by a centralised militant group of shrill feminists, becomes more pronounced every day. The more belligerent the feministas get, the more resolute the grassroots become about moving in the opposite direction.
Unconsciously, women seek to be overwhelmed by men. To surrender power for love is feminine. When men do it, women lose respect. What else can explain the 82 per cent avalanche of women who answered "Yes, we do prefer men who treat us badly" in the Observer's recent survey on men?
What's more, 79 per cent of men surveyed know this.
It is this data that makes modern feminism irrelevant hyperbole. It is the way of the world and no PC whitewash or posturing pseudo-lesbo is going to change it.
It's as unbreakable as the middle-classes' revulsion to socialism's high taxes.
The whole "because we're worth it" conceit is a baggy Sex and the City mantra. It's the chant women wryly use to keep the feministas at bay and the sexual revolution chroniclers busy. But behind closed doors, beneath all the vibrating "independent woman" bravado, in the deepest recession of our minds, women still subscribe to the old model of female submission to a domineering male.
Equality in the workplace and the accompanying perks are great but, Helene Deutsch in her seminal The Psychology of Women (1948) was right in arguing that women are - and want to remain - "masochistic-narcissistic" personalities. Women want to be put to use as wives and mothers and loved for their sacrifice. They want to be needed. Self-sacrifice is how women show love.
Women, like Bill Clinton, lead "parallel lives" of boardroom dominance and bedroom enslavement. As Fay Weldon commented in the London Times this week, "'Equality' satisfies the human urge for justice but it is not a recipe for domestic happiness."
Sometimes, despite our worst competitive instincts, women should stand back and applaud Nigella Lawson. Not only does she despise the charade of pseudo-sex massages, but she also succeeds in appearing to defer to men while not having her own identity eroded.
In last weekend's Daily Telegraph Lawson commented on massage: "Nothing that's meant to be relaxing - like being told to relax - ever is." Massage is not just a substitute for sex, it is for women who don't "do" sex.
My first (and last) massage performed by a robust Helga type with a commanding mumble resulted in me leaving the clinic dazed and sexually confused, wondering whether I was a lesbian. Massage is for sexual androids. I defy anyone - who isn't an asexual twig - not to get frisky as foreign fingertips knead at your fleece.
Lawson agrees with Judith Newman, author of You Make Me Feel Like an Unnatural Woman, who said: "Why would you want to be touched by a stranger you weren't having sex with?" In our sophisticated swirling metropolis, sex has become too messy and time-consuming for many women.
Lawson's genius is in emphasising that she's not one of these new women and it is why men really love her. Looks and cooks are a dime a dozen. She lives by the simple and enduring "Bring beer, come naked" formula.
Last Saturday, Lawson coyly confessed that she isn't "a decision-maker", expanding that the TV remote is never in her hand but, "I'm not complaining: the good thing about not being in control is that you have no responsibility; you are just a passive receiver for whatever is thrown at you."
Now we know why art collector, Charles Saatchi could afford to be so phlegmatic about the BritArt blaze.
Lawson gives the impression that she's a carnal creature driven solely by her senses. A lustrous panda roaming through the undergrowth for various genus of bamboo cane. Her career a trivial distraction to her primary pursuits. Lawson's "obsession with food" is really and truly an obsession with sex.
It's all just an act of course, but the point is that Lawson is willing to play the subordinate role, real or imagined. The ideal balance between doormat and dominatrix. And most women secretly agree.
Women still want sex and security and men still want sex and flattery. The spurious "masculinity in crisis" debate has been drummed up by academics who have realised they've come to the gender revolution cul de sac.
I'd be bored too if the only principal changes over the centuries between men and women were to be observed in the clinical office environment.
ALLAHU AKBAR!
BEWARE THE BLACK TURBAN YAZID!
-good times, G.J.P. (Jr.)
On the official 1 - 10 "Babe-O-Meter," she's about a 43!
Mark
Sally fields is in some deep s***!
As one who has followed the Stars & Stripes rag for quite some time, I can assure you there is no sharp turn to the left. That paper has always been a leftist rag.
We used to call it the "Funny Pages" or "Sunday Funnies".
I think you go too far when you say 'women want to be treated badly'.
I think many people, both men and women, like the secure feeling of having a strong leader who can make good decisions for them, protect them, bolster their self-worth by 'appreciating their sacrifice', make them feel that they 'belong'.
Not a very good looking group militarily, but these young women do look good as individual women.
I don't think they were on duty at the time.
The phenomenon of girls "likeing" guys who don't treat them well, and the gender traits that this article alludes to(even as it confuses them) are APPLES and ORANGES.
In the case of the latter a perfectly mature, healthy, happy relationship is possible, wheras in the case of the former such a possibility has the proverbial snowballs chance.
When there is guranteed chaos in a relationship there is no possibility that the woman can be dissapointed. It's a manifestation of the feminine ego that we never hear very much about.
"That's not being manly at all."
How very right you are.
Goodmorning my polish freind!
my beloved wife is spoiled,i do all the cooking,laundry and grocery shopping.
we both work and her company is all i need,when we are both at home.
when is your husband coming back.
invitatation to visit america and have me cook for your family still open.
GODBLESS.
(Puzzled, drug-addled stare.)
Huh?
Speak for yourself, girl.
I totally dominate Madame Dufarge, my wife of 37 years and if she doesn't like it, well I'll just stop doing the housework, grocery shopping and all the cooking.
So there!
I want to believe that all people want to be loved, supported, encouraged, wanted, respected, etc. But, the flip side is that many don't feel like they actually deserve to have those things directed at them so they feel guilty when they have those aspects in a relationship.
This is true for both men and women, but much more so for women. It's twisted, but a bad boy gives them what they secretly feel they "deserve" while at the same time giving them the opportunity to feel superior.
It takes a while, maybe even a decade or two for some, but eventually many get over their need for guilt and self sabotage and are able to appreciate a "nice" guy: someone they can actually be friends with.
"Yes, we do prefer men who treat us badly" in the Observer's recent survey..."A lie from the pit of hell.
I don't know about that. Perhaps not you yourself, but I can't help noticing that, constantly, throughout my life, the 'bad boys' seemed to have a magnetic attraction to many women...
It absolutely can not be denied. And usually the prettier the woman, the bigger the jerk. And they love it.
Some nice guys I know have actually thrown in the towel and have started acting the part...and it's working. Unfortunately, women have caused this. And it leads to a degrading view of women in the even the nice guy's eyes..albeit subconsciously...and starts to manifest itself consciously.
Um, no. It's not. Depending on what you are trying to accomplish, serious massage is mostly to loosen tight muscles and help release stored toxins and impurities in the system. It works the muscles strained from hours of misuse or stillness to get them be more supple. After a concert, when we've been standing on a stage holding music for anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half, the shoulders, back and quads really need it. It's not that difficult to do, either.
And one other thing: no women wants to be treated badly. We would like resepect, communication, Swiss chocolate, decent wine and our questions answered in a timely manner.
Not all women are into jerks. In fact, not many that I know are. And if a gal wants a guy to be that way, the guy needs to dump her and find someone who is far more feminine.
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