Posted on 06/28/2004 12:30:55 PM PDT by dead
BATTLE CREEK, Michigan - Frustrated that the buffet at a party celebrating his movie ran out of food, documentary director Michael Moore took the unusual step of eating himself today.
Astronomers confirmed the bizarre story, noting the presence of the first black hole near the surface of planet earth. Cambridge scientist Stephen Hawking discussed the surprising development, while being beaten by his wife.
“He seems. (Ow!) To have. (Quit it!) Collapsed. In. Upon. (Ow!) Himself. Through self. Digestion. (Ow!) He has. (Ow!) Become a. (Stop it!) Singularity. ”
In a tragic side note, former Vice-President Al Gore was speaking slowly and deliberately with Mr. Moore at the moment his gravitational forces overwhelmed his pressure gradients. This event trapped the one-time presidential candidate in a geosynchronous orbit around the infinitely dense documentarian. Mr. Gore is said to be moving at approximately 60,000 miles per hour, completing over 4,000 revolutions of the black hole per second, while still managing to remain boring.
The news of the gravitational demise of Mr. Moore was greeted with mixed reactions by the nation’s leading politicians.
Upon hearing the news, Democratic Presidential Candidate, John Kerry commented sadly, “I served in Vietnam.”
His wife, Teresa Yogi Bera Simoes-Ferreira Zsa Zsa Gabor al Zarqawi Kerry, was more effusive in her grieving, “Is so sad! A man so rich died before either John or I could marry him. I wish I was a dog.”
President Bush did not apparently share the Kerrys’ pain over the news. “I’m sure not going to miss that major league a##hole,” he commented. “How about you, Dick?”
“No f#*king way!” laughed Vice-President Cheney.
Ah hahahahahahahahaahah
Heh heh heh heh!
bttt
Do one on this...
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU...MICHEAL MOORE STARRING IN...
TRIPLE XXX-TRA LARGE
Superb! You should seriously consider becoming an asstronomer.
Old news. Al's been out there orbiting in space for a long, long time.
There's a cheese log in my boot!
Well, I always did think he was some sort of black hole...
I like it!
THX
And I just sat down to KFC. Thanks for the guilt trip.
LOL, almost spewed 'extra crispy.'
Like air surrounded by a sphincter muscle.
Oh man that’s funny especially the part about “how ‘bout you Dick?”.
Moore is so fat that when he hauls a$$ it takes two trips.
Exactly. Precisely. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
*groan*
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