New Jersey--and Then the World

This has to be a classic case of mixed emotions--like watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your Cadillac.

I mean, how are you supposed to feel when WOMEN become victims of political correctness? It's supposed to be the other way round. On top of everything, this may have national and even worldwide consequences, since this is not your mother's civil rights movement. As far off as London, Paris, and Tel Aviv, people in the food and beverage business are in a state of fear and trembling at this illustration of (turnabout) Political Correctness gone berserk.

So a guy walks into a bar (this is real, no joke), checks around, and finds that the girls don't have to pay the five dollars to get in and, horrors!--they get drinks at discount. It's Wednesday, Ladies' Night at the Coastline Bar and Restaurant in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, and so it has been for the past 26 years.

This guy, identified in the press as David R. Gillespie, what he does is, he complains, and goes all the way up to the New Jersey Division of Civil Rights which, get this, rules in his favor as of June 1. The Civil Rights office rules, in other words, that Ladies' Nights in Cherry Hill are discriminatory against men. So--no more Ladies' Nights not only here, but the ruling is on tap throughout the township and the state, and maybe the entire nation is next.

The Civil Rights people based their decision upon the notion that Ladies' Nights ''discriminate on the basis of sex.''

Speaking of sex, you and me, when we walk into a bar it's for some drinks, some leisure, and, okay, some action. We check out the babes. We don't care how they get in. Never mind free admission, we'll pay them to get in. (Of course, dear, all that before we were married. Of course.)

Sure, all this is small potatoes compared to, say--oh, that one half of the world is trying to kill off the other half. But this is getting too close to home. Ordinarily I can stomach political correctness, straight up or in reverse, as long as it's happening to someone else. But this is happening right where I live, up the street. I drive by the Coastline practically every day and in the words of Al Pacino, San Francisco-style PC has arrived: ''In my home! In my bedroom, where my wife sleeps; where my children come play with their toys. In my home!''

So you see what I mean. It's getting personal. But this is even bigger, and I'm only half kidding. New Jersey, after all, is famed for the Miss America Pageant. What's to stop some guy from claiming that this, too, is discriminatory on the basis of sex? Guys should also be allowed to compete.

John Kerry, in fact, seems to be running for the title of Miss America when he says he wants to be president because ''I love this country.'' This has the sound of one of our lovelies doing her two-minute spiel, in Atlantic City, after dazzling us with her baton twirling.

But to heck with politics. We're talking about boys and girls, and that, like Adam and Eve, Romeo and Juliet, predates Democrats and Republicans.

The temptation is to throw this one back to the ladies who lunch on feminism and need us like a fish needs a bicycle, if you remember Gloria Steinem. (''A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.'') So, Gloria and all the rest, you wanted equality, equality you got. This is your perfect world, right? No more favored gender status. No more ladies first. No more doffing our hats. No more opening the door. We are equals. (Some may call this communism.)

Only trouble is, according to a scientific survey I took (around my house and neighborhood) girls today want to be treated like girls. This is supported by the latest stats done by real canvassers. Turns out women demand equal pay and all that, but still, millions are leaving the office and going back home. What's more, they want the differences, those advantages that they inherited from their mothers and grandmothers.

(I loved this particular teenage response from my personal survey: ''Like, girls are girls. Boys are boys, Leave it alone.'')

To make sure of this, and being the investigative reporter that I am, I placed a call to the Coastline, and a manager answered, female, by the way. The boss, Christos Mourtos, was out of town, so she thought better about giving out her name. Being female, that's enough trouble as it is. Anyway, this manager reports that Wednesday-night business is down about 40 percent.

That's pretty much what you'd expect. What was it like on Ladies' Night before the Civil Rights people stepped in and imposed reverse equality?

Actually, to those in the business, this is no joke; just like the no smoking ban is not funny to owners of bars and restaurants next door to Cherry Hill, meaning New York. ''We're getting phone calls of support from everywhere,'' says the lady, ''and we've heard from worried restaurateurs in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and even London and other places around the world.''

Meantime, the Coastline is waiting for the State Senate to okay the Assembly's measure to restore Ladies' Night. For sure, the governor will add his assenting signature, but all that won't be happening until at least September. I asked the manager if this could wind up at the federal supreme court, and she paused, and she wasn't laughing.

I'm laughing when I think of these newlyweds who approach the Orthodox rabbi to ask what is permissible on their honeymoon. They name this position and that position, maybe 20 altogether, and the answer is always yes, permitted. Finally, the bride asks if it's all right to do it standing up.

I guess that's what this is all about. Could lead to dancing. Oh, you're wondering, if I live so close, why did I phone the Coastline, not go there in person.

About the Writer: Jack Engelhard is the author of the bestseller "Indecent Proposal," the award-winning "Escape from Mount Moriah," and the novel "The Days of the Bitter End," which is being prepared for movie production. He is completing a new novel, "The Uriah Deadline," which will concern news media corruption. Jack receives e-mail at viewopinion@aol.com.

True, since all that, my governor, James E. McGreevy, has called the un-ladylike action ''bureaucratic nonsense,'' my state assembly has since passed a bill unanimously in favor of the girls, but the measure still has to be considered by the Senate.....shocking that a flaming lefty like McGreevy would call the action "nonsense" when it's apparently ultimately rooted in the equal protection clause of US Constitution and passed through to the NJ Constitution, if we have one left. Let's see what the NJ Supreme Court has to say about the new bill if it gets through the Senate.....

(I loved this particular teenage response from my personal survey: ''Like, girls are girls. Boys are boys, Leave it alone.'')

Courts have already said that is a fallacy. Sexual discrimination extends to many different levels than just male and female.

Go figure, but for the most part in many places, now it is the law.

Crazy as it is, it's the natural progression of "anti-discrimination" laws. When the government told businessmen that they couldn't discriminate on the basis on race, sex, etc., I'm not surprised that the "anti-bigotry" crusade finally sunk to this level.

I remember back about 10 or 15 years ago, there was some guy getting lots of press trying to get NYC bars to do men's night, as he felt ladies' night discriminated against men. No one took him seriously. Then again, he was doing the talk show circuit wearing a skirt, claiming he was trying to liberate men from dress code mores. Obviously he had never hit any of the drag queen bars in the Village.

The entire idea of ladies' nights in bar is to draw the women in for the men. So the men have a shot at meeting someone. So you can get the women drunk for cheap and they can look at you through beer goggles.

This is bad news for men who are going out looking to score, not just women who hit bars on ladies' nights. It means the ladies aren't going to drink as much, which will lower the chances of guys like the one who started this suit. This ban is bad news for men who hit singles bars.

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