[John Lenin]

Is the truth starting to seep out ?

[sauropod]

read later

[Tax-chick]

Captain Obvious strikes again! And the usual suspects don't like the results ...

[nothingnew]

Another great study of the obvious.

FMCDH(BITS)

[television is just wrong]

Ladies, we need to start treating our men better, BUY DR. LAURA'S BOOK.

[StoneColdGOP]

Among the single men, those interested in marriage were more likely to have had a father fully involved in their upbringing than those who were skeptical of marriage. The unmarried men raised by two parents also were more likely to be trusting of women than those raised in single-parent homes.

Another groundbreaking revelation, probably funded by tax dollars.

[freeeee]

81 percent said they got married "because it was the right time to settle down."

Recipe for divorce. You marry because you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that has nothing to do with what "time" you think it is. If you marry the closest warm body because "It's Time to Get Married", you're in for a rude surprise.

[JohnnyZ]

The unmarried men raised by two parents also were more likely to be trusting of women

Ah, naivete.

The married man knows not to trust women but has generally learned how to deal with it ;)

[dljordan]

My cousin just got back from a hunting trip to Vietnam and made the comment that he now understands why no one wants to marry American women. He said the women over there treated him like a king (rich American husband material) and were catering to his every whim (don't go there). He also said the hunting was pretty good.

[Modernman]

They are less likely to hang out in bars

Well, they haven't met my wife. I have to drag her out of the bar at closing time.

[wideawake]

Two things:

(1) This shows that the Hollywood consensus - i.e. that 90% of guys are afraid of marriage and never want to get married - is as illusory as every other Hollywood trope.

(2) This survey reflects me to a T. It's almost scary how accurate this portrait is.

I grew up in a churchgoing two-parent home.

I was happy to get married. I didn't have to be pressured into it. I didn't think it was too soon.

Since I've gotten married I am more serious about work. I've missed Mass maybe three times in the 5 years I've been married. I consume probably 25% the alcohol that I did when I was single.

Only difference - having kids was an essential part of marriage for me.

[spoiler2]

You learn how to be a father from your own father, and girls learn the mother's role from their own mother.

If your parent was a poor marital-role model, many of your own subconscious attitudes to marriage are likely to be similar.

Bill Clinton is a perfect example of this axiom!

[Tax-chick]

Here's the link to the full report:

http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/TEXTSOOU2004.htm

One thing I find depressing about these surveys is that the young people seem to have such unrealistic expectations of marriage. You'd think they spent their formative years reading Barbara Cartland novels!

[mountaineer]

"There's this endless stream of correlations that seem designed to convince people, 'By golly, we'd all do better if everybody got married and stayed married,'" she said. "That's unrealistic in the modern world."

Why? There's nothing about the modern world that makes commitment or fidelity any more difficult or less realistic than it ever was. I'd wager Stephanie's just too self-centered to have any real interest in trying to make marriage work (or she just hasn't yet found the right gal, in true Evergreen College fashion).

[laredo44]

The single most important question both parties need to answer is, do you want to be married or single. If the former, you'll look for ways to succeed, if the latter, you'll invent ways to fail.

[Prime Choice]

One critic said such assertions were too broad, fostering illusions about traditional families and overlooking the nuanced attitudes of those raised by divorced parents.

"Nuanced" must be the new euphemism for "ridiculously dysfunctional."

Nuanced? My aching foot.

[Mark17]

While most single young men aspire to marriage, about one-fifth are deeply skeptical of the institution and their prospects of making it work

I thought the percentage would be much greater than one-fifth.

[Aquinasfan]

Regarding parenting, married and single men had similar views — about two-thirds of each group said having children shouldn't be the main purpose of marrying.

Not surprising, but tragic, and false. The purpose of marriage is for the spouses to aid each other in obtaining salvation. But a necessary corollary of this principle is that the couple must be open to the begetting of children and assisting the children in attaining salvation.

The purpose of the marital act is twofold, the unity of the couple and the generation of children.

On the Regulation of Birth

[Sicon]

I am a man, and my parents divorced amicably when I was 7. I am indeed deeply skeptical of marriage.

My father remarried within 3 years of the divorce, and from that time on, was essentially absent from my life (he had plenty of time for his new wife and her three children, but little for me). My mother remarried within 4 years of the divorce, and since I lived with her, I had to deal with a stepfather in the house.

Needless to say, essentially losing both of my parents to some new spouse who didn't give a damn about me didn't do much for my upbringing. And both of the new spouses eventually convinced both of my parents to move far away - to Florida (I live in New Jersey).

Whether my skepticism stems from that experience, or from what I have seen and heard among my friends and coworkers (about 85% of the marriages seem to be pretty miserable, and the divorces overwhelmingly punish the men beyond all reason), I am not sure.

As mentioned in this article, I do have a hard time trusting the women I date, at least when it comes to considering marriage. There's just too much for me to lose if it ends up in a divorce. As I explained it to a friend recently, marriage is a gamble, and one that favors women by a wide margin. For a guy, marriage is like a bet on the flip of a coin (50/50 odds) where he has to put down $95 and if he wins, he gets $100 back. For the woman, its the same bet, but she only puts down $5, and if she wins, she gets $100 back. Who on earth would risk $95 to win $5? On the other hand, who wouldn't risk $5 to win $95? This is why women are almost always the ones who push for marriage, and why men are often very reluctant.

My point is that I am not sure if it was my childhood with divorced parents, or the incredibly anti-male divorce court system, that makes me hesitant about marriage. Maybe it's both.

[Antoninus]

Survey responses from the married men painted a positive picture of marriage — 94 percent said they were happier married than single, and 73 percent said their sex life was better.

Definitely true in my case. One wonders where the sit-com common knowledge about "life ending after marriage" comes from....

[k2blader]

This is an encouraging article.

Thanks for posting.

Up with traditionalist, church-going men!