Posted on 05/18/2004 4:31:02 PM PDT by GeronL
On the evening of May 5th I heard my father call me from the living room. I was there within a few seconds to see him collapse to the floor gasping. He was not choking, but it sure seemed close.
I called 9-1-1 immediately and then called family and friends. They live close by.
The paramedics took their time after they parked and were rude and brusque. Three of his children,me included, were outside the apartment crying. They said it did not look good, he was not responding.
We were all at the hospital when they told us he had passed on. When we were ready, they said, we could see his body. They took it to the morgue before we could.
The days have been a blur since then. I have not been back to FR at all until now. I have come by the apartment a few times to feed the cat and water the plants.
I am still in a state of disbelief since the shock wore off.
He had a few marriages, had two daughters with a wife named Doris. They are both nearing fifty now and only one of them attended the funeral.
He married my mother Nora Ann and they stayed together until her death (murder) almost exactly 20 years ago. They had five children, although the oldest had been born before they met. Me, my brother and three sisters might be poor, but we had the best parents.
He worked in the City of Irving Sanitation Department for a very long time driving (operating) heavy equipment. He retired about a decade ago after major surgery resulted from complications of appendicitis.
He was a good man, the best I'll ever know. He was loved dearly by all those who knew him. I stayed by his side when he was in the hospital a decade ago. I have lived with him since. He has seemed strong for most of that time and did not need help. I was the one being helped.
Immediately after the funeral ended, it began to rain. People were soon running for their cars and I was soon alone with the casket and the man who would lower it. I could think of nothing to say except "Bye Daddy".
Almost thirty years ago....the same thing happened to me. You can and will continue on.
You will become the man your father meant you to be.
To have posted something as personal as this means....you are already well on your way there.
Condolences my friend.
The hurt you are feeling never really goes away....it matures into a sort of wistful wisdom. One day you will silently smile as you realize......."I know what my Dad knew.....he knew this....I know it now.....I am my father's son!"
I am sorry about your father and pray that God will give you comfort.
Prayer bump.
Deepest sympathies......and condolences...........from the RightOnline household. I understand exactly what you are feeling, for I lost my father in 1984 (in a very similar fashion, only I wasn't there).......and to this day, at age 48, his is the only funeral I've ever attended. I will tell you that you'll never, ever forget him......but time does heal all wounds. God bless you.
I really can feel for you.
Lost my Dad 5 years ago, and my Mom not long before that.
I wasn't able to be there when either of them passed, which still makes me feel terrible to this day. It's like I didn't get to say goodbye.
Your words touched my heart today.
Thank you for sharing your grief.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Bye Daddy
Bye Daddy
I cried
I still can't believe
He died
I want him back
Not in a grave
Without him here
It's hard to be brave
He was my strength
When strength was required
The man I loved
And most admired
But what he taught me
Will carry me through
I'll try to do
What he would do
I'll never forget him
He did his part
Until I die
He's in my heart
EV
GeronL,You did all you thought you didn't,you called him Daddy.Prayers,fatima
Deepest sympathies to you and your family GeronL.
He died later that week. Almost every day for near thirty years I wonder if I did the right thing.
I'm crying for you...sadness overwhelms; but I cry , too, for myself, for never did I have the kindness, love and memories that you can claim yours. Therefor, be joyful, too: I can't ever say "goodbye", 'cause I never got even a "hello". You're a lucky man.
Actions speak louder than words. Be sure your Dad knew you loved him. That's important to a parent. I know, I am a mother of four.
When my Mom died the loss was most painful and I would wish I had done this or that, but like you I was there when she needed me, always.
It took me about a year to start remembering the fun we had together, the laughs we shared, all the best of our life together. I still miss her every day but I only remember what a lovely Mom she was. Not the pain she suffered, not the last few days she lived in the hospital in a coma.
We were blessed,she lived to be 93years old, the last seventeen of those years alone and the last three weeks of her life with me. At the very end she had to be hospitalized but she never really knew that.She would have hated being dependent on anyone or as she would have thought, a burden.
I offer my condolences and prayers for you and all who loved your Dad.
You'll never forget him. He made you the man you are today. May God hold you and your family in His hands, and comfort you with the knowledge that your father is home at last, finally reunited with your mother.
You will continue. It's tough sometimes...
You have to outlive your parents--that's why they had you! Of course I would prefer that he went later, but what do preferences count for?
The Irish have a saying: "A man without his Pa is like a man in the rain without an umbrella."
You'll be fine. You can never really lose him.
I'm so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. Prayers to you and your family in this difficult time.
I'm sure your father loved you very much just the way you are.
Regards,
So sorry to hear this. God Bless you and your family GeronL.
Prayers for you and your family, Geron.
I'm so sorry to hear about your father passing away. It seems , from your writting, that he died suddenly. My dad went out of this world in a similar manner- unexpected. It took a long time to get over the shock and hurt. It does get easier as time passes, but, I still miss him to this day. The Peace and comfort of the Lord be with you and your family, as you cope with the loss of your beloved daddy. You wrote a wonderful tribute to him
"Daddy."
That's how God wants us to think of Him. It's so hard to do that, because it's so hard even to talk to our own daddys that way. I am very much in your company when it comes to a failure to communicate love where it is due. We all are.
With God, however, "Bye" is never the last word. We know this because He took our frail flesh upon Himself out of love for us. He still lives for us, even as He is risen from the dead and lives and rules to all eternity.
Peace be to you. Not as the world gives, but as God gives in Christ Jesus.
My deepest condolences and prayers for you and your family, GeronL.
God Bless you brother, and your old dad too...
So very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Dad. May our Lord grant you and your family the comfort of leaning on His arms. In the name of Jesus, amen.
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