Un-named CIA source: Jordanian WMD only insecticide (satire)

ONN ^ | 27-april-2004 | epluribus_2

[epluribus_2]

(ONN) A well-placed, un-named, senior CIA offical, known for his accuracy, said in off-the-record remarks to an ONN reporter Tuesday that the twenty trucks full of so-called chemical munitions to be used as alleged WMD attacks on Jordan - a nation bordering Iraq and allied with Saddam Hussein during the two gulf wars - was after extensive testing in CIA and ISG labs found to be only insectide used for common agricultural pest control. After the reporter briefed the CIA source on the confession of the alleged terrorist, the source dismissed this as "conspiratorial" and unlikely then returned to his golf game.

[epluribus_2]

Did I get it about right?

[Peach]

Are you being sarcastic?

I can't get the link to work. FNC, CNN and ABC have reported that up to 71 chemicals were involved in the thwarted chemical attack.

[Kaslin]

onionesquenewsnetwork.com

? Is that the Onion?

[epluribus_2]

Are you being sarcastic?

uh - yes. Quite.

[Defender2]

No you did'nt. Link does'nt work.

[Peach]

I'm not myself this morning. You need a sarcasm tag to account for the morning density factor :-)

[freeperfromnj]

There was a report yesterday that one of the checmicals in the mix was a nerve agent.

[Oldeconomybuyer]

This could be series.

[Lokibob]

I think this is a farce, but:   US EPA to ban insecticide diazinon Reuters News

The US Environmental Protection Agency on Tuesday will announce plans to phase out use of the insecticide diazinon, the last widely used pest-control product made from a class of chemicals linked to health risks for children, USA Today reported on Tuesday. EPA has reached a voluntary agreement with diazinon's chief manufacturer, Syngenta AG, to gradually halt all home and garden applications of the pesticide over the next four years, the newspaper reported, citing sources familiar with the deal. Used in everything from household ant and roach killers to grub-killing lawn sprays, diazinon is marketed under such brands as Ortho, Spectracide and Real-Kill. USA Today said the agreement was a major milestone in pesticide regulation, effectively marking the end of organophosphates, or OPs, chemicals derived from nerve gas agents developed during World War II.

[epluribus_2]

actually, the number of Toon-era appointees embedded in the CIA and working tirelessly to defeat the Bush administration is - VEY SERIES.

[Defender2]

Tried it twice, excerpted link does not work.

[epluribus_2]

ok guys - I will not put any funny links on my satires in the future. I don't do a lot of them or they would not ketch ya. Anyway - so much of the news these days may as well be SNL satire considering its bias.

[Defender2]

#12. Now that's a very well said statement.


:-)(with a chuckle) :-)

[richardtavor]

That is what insecticide is--there's not much difference--it is chemical that KILLs, but I guess it's not PC to call it a chemical weapon.

[epluribus_2]

well, for that matter, TNT is THE chemical weapon.

[petro45acp]

Check out the warnings on any over the counter insecticide and note the urgency with which the (para)phrase "contact medical personnel immediately" is presented. Unless the insecticide is DDT (and no PC and ignorant terrorist would use DDT cause it is harmless to humans, and has one of the worst reps on the planet), any insecticide vapoorized over a large area could cause many casualties. This would be increased by mixing many aerosols to affect many different neural paths.

Point being, "just insecticide" is blatantly pandering to a well recognized adgenda.

Shame on them!

[Milligan]

The Nazi used chemical weapons during WWII. They used insecticides in gas chambers to commit genocide. The PC crowd want to pretend WMD does not exist even if its on their doorstep.