Cops: Major Change in Wisconsin Coed Mystery [Audrey Seiler]

Fox News Online ^ | 4/2/04 | AP

[TheBigB]

MADISON, Wis.

[bonfire]

You forgot the infamous "note". :)

[TRY ONE]

Whatever it is --- it's all Bush's fault!

[Tijeras_Slim]

It's better than my other theory that the Nigerian Finance Minister did it in the Library with a candlestick.

[TomGuy]

Have the news conference already!!!!

FoxNews guys are starting to speculate. What if, what if, what if....

[Xenalyte]

That too. What did your note say? I think I still have mine in my purse somewhere.

[Travis McGee]

Thanks. As someone who is a caregiver for a family member with neurological problems, I just ask for a little compassion. It's not bed of roses, nobody asks to suffer in this way, nobody asks for this cross to carry. And to get scorn and derision instead of some pity just twists the knife. Not you, I just mean society generally.

[The G Man]

So what did the cops say?

[Cold Heat]

Golly!

My sincere sympathy.

I too had some difficulties at that age.

I survived, but it is scary to think how many things may have gone wrong.

I had no idea what was happening at the time and I have a cat bird seat when I see things like this.

[Travis McGee]

I agree. I have an 11 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome. It's no fun dealing with rages and meltdowns, or searching for him at night in the woods, and finding him by his crying.

[Xenalyte]

You must have the updated version of the game! The most exotic character in my old version is Colonel Mustard, and that ain't sayin' much.

[bonfire]

Just noticed your tagline. Sorry about your loss. Hope your grandpa was as special as mine.

[Xenalyte]

He sure was. He's back with my grandmother, who preceded him in 1996, and they're finally happy again. Thanks for that!

[Cold Heat]

she should be roundly punished.

Punishment only works with a crime that is intentional.

I don't think that this is the case.

[Poohbah]

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my free case of M&Ms (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals).

I ran into a friend whose neighbor had been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (of course you already know there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC.) He said this happened right after his neighbor's cousin had an even worse turn of events...

He said the guy woke up from a deep sleep to find himself in his bathtub. It was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he managed to crawl out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN!

He saw a note on his mirror that said, "Call 911!" He was afraid to use his phone, though, because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail titled "Join the crew!"

He knew this wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.

(It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

Well, the poor man tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidney, but instead of getting an operator, a voice on the line asked him to first press #90. This gave the intercepter full unlimited free access to the phone line at the expense of anyone who tried to use it.

My friend's neighbor's cousin then reached into the coin-return slot to retrieve his quarter and got jabbed with a hypodermic needle that was hidden in there. Wrapped around it was a note that read: "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily, he was only a few blocks from the hospital, the one where that little boy is--the one who is dying of cancer and whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail (the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.)

I sent him an e-mail that consisted of a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck--send it to only 10 and you will have just OK luck--send it to fewer than 10 people and you will have bad luck for seven years.)

Well, anyway, the poor guy with the stolen kidney, who was now infected with the AIDS virus, quickly headed for the hospital. On the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his own lights to alert the other driver. He was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

Send this to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive a free WAP phone. If you don't forward it, the owner of Procter and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have incredibly bad luck. In any case, the US government will soon be putting a tax on all of your e-mails...

... I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet!

[LisaMalia]

News conference on now. Talking about all the inconsistencies....she admitted that she was not abducted. Then changed her story AGAIN.

[Sloth]

My note said "Welcome to the world of AIDS." It was written on the back of a $250 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe.

[TheBigB]

From a local WI station...

CONTINUING COVERAGE:Police say they will talk about "significant developments" in the Audrey Seiler investigation at 10:30 a.m. today at the Monona Terrace Convention Center.

Police have not only found minor inconsistencies as acting Madison Police Chief Noble Wray said yesterday -- but "mayor inconsistencies."

Police have been very tight-lipped since the University of Wisconsin student walked out of a marsh Wednesday after she seemingly disappeared Saturday.

A Department of Revenue employee who called 911 Wednesday after spotting Seiler in the marshy area near the DOR building is not talking to the media, but WISC-TV in Madison confirmed more information about the 911 call. A high-level police source told WISC-TV that the DOR worker must have talked to Seiler in the marsh. Seiler allegedly told the woman she was a college student and she goes to the marsh to relax. The woman told the 911 dispatcher she also saw Seiler on Monday and Tuesday.

A second high-level police source told WISC-TV that Seiler (pictured left, as she walked to ambulance yesterday) seemed surprised about all the attention.

[July 4th]

Damn! This is getting good.

[drjimmy]

News conference is on now. Cops say she first finally admitted it was a hoax, but then claims it did happen but not as she first reported. Huh?