Posted on 03/05/2004 12:25:23 PM PST by ZGuy
Everyone wants to fall in love; it's the stuff of movies, songs and dreams. But what if you fall in love with your cousin?
For one couple, romance bloomed among two cousins who met as adults after a 20 year absence.
"We ran into each other, at a family reunion," Christie Smith told ABCNEWS. "And we just struck it off."
Smith said marrying her cousin Mark brought concerns.
"It was very scary, at first. I thought that it was something that was very wrong," said Smith.
Einstein Kissed His Cuz
Cousins who fall in love have a right to voice concerns. After all, marrying a cousin just isn't done, right?
At least that's what we're taught to believe. Only primitive people who live in isolated places marry cousins, and it's dangerous and leads to creating stupid children.
Or does it? A new study reveals the genetic risks associated with this type of pairing are not as great as once believed.
And consider this — Albert Einstein's parents were cousins, and he married his cousin, too. FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt were cousins, so were Prince Albert and Queen Victoria and former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was briefly married to a second cousin.
In America, marrying your cousin is legally allowed in 26 states and every year about 200,000 cousins wed. Worldwide, it's much more common — 20 percent of all married couples are cousins. In some Middle Eastern countries, almost half of all marriages are to cousins.
Those Who Say ‘I Do’
But in America, cousins who find love also find public resistance.
"The overbearing concept is that, you know, 'cousins can't get married,' " said Brian Wagner, who has been married to his cousin Caren for 12 years. His dad and his wife's mom are brother and sister.
"Some people see it as 'inbreeding,' or, you know, 'incest,' or something terrible like that," said Wagner.
Caren said she didn't plan on their shared future, although her mom noticed they always liked each other.
"They played together, they fought over toys together. And they just had a happy good relationship as kids will," said Pat Bradfield. "They were real kissin' cousins."
They initially grew up in the same area, but Brian's family then moved away. Years later when Caren decided to visit, their lives changed.
"When she showed up at the airport terminal and come off the plane, it's just like everything came rushing back again," said Brian.
"It developed beyond a 'friendship,' into a 'OK, do you want to get married this weekend or next?' " said Caren.
Her mom says the idea "floored" her a bit, but since she couldn't stop the marriage she was leery of voicing opposition in fear of losing contact with her daughter. Instead, she offered some advice.
"In a marriage such as you're contemplating, you have to remember that you could divorce your husband but you can't divorce the whole family," said Pat.
They did lose one friend who, Caren said, they just didn't hear from anymore after they announced their union.
Legality of the Marriage
Twenty-four states still forbid cousin marriages. The United States is the only country in the world where these laws still exist. "A lot of these laws have been on the books forever and they have just not gotten changed," said Brian.
The laws date back hundreds of years to the time when the Catholic Church campaigned against cousin marriages because in the Bible Leviticus says, "none of you shall approach to any that is near of kin."
Regardless, Caren and Brian had a church wedding in Virginia, one of 26 states where cousin marriage is legal. "We talked to our minister … and he knew and he didn't have an issue with marrying us," said Brian.
Biological Implications
One of the reasons cousin marriage is taboo, is the assumption they will have kids with birth defects.
But a new groundbreaking study funded by the National Society of Genetic Counselors revealed that some beliefs about cousin marriage are unfounded.
Robin Bennett, who headed the study, told ABCNEWS the risks of having a child with a cousin are about "2 to 3 percent" above the average population's risk for having a child with birth defects or mental retardation.
She says while there are risks, they're "not as bad" as people perceive. Other risk factors are higher. For example, there's a 10 percent chance that a 41-year-old woman will give birth to kids with chromosomal defects.
If one parent has a genetic disease, like Huntington's, they have a 50 percent chance of passing it on. Bennett gives parents the risks but would not tell them not to have kids. She advocates that cousins who are romantically involved have genetic counseling before they're pregnant.
Brian and Caren went for counseling, and were told the risk for birth defects was low, but their kids might have asthma which runs in the family.
They now have two boys, ages 12 and 8, and both have asthma. But they don't think twice about their parents being cousins. They're also at the top of their classes in school.
The rest of the family has come around and say they couldn't be happier with how things have worked out. Ultimately, Caren and Brian say it may have been their family connection that led them to fall in love.
"We could communicate," said Brian. "We had the same values, as far as raising children … It's a match."
In some Middle Eastern countries, almost half of all marriages are to cousins.
These facts seem to be consistent....
Double Exposure - the cult of Warren Jeffs ...
That's where we're likely headed. You and your mom, your sister, both your sisters, your dog, ...
It is if I have to pay for:
the medical expenses of the resulting STD,
the medical expenses of their deformed offspring,
the special education of their offspring,
the list goes on..
Tsk, tsk, tsk... The unintended consequences of The Great Society backfire in the socialists' faces. They want their so-called "freedom" but, they expect you and I to pick up the tab.
There have been societies where marriages between second cousins were customary.
According to Genesis, chapter 29, Jacob's wives Leah and Rachel were his first cousins (their father Laban was the brother of Jacob's mother).
This is only part of the reasoning--not a "taboo"--against incest. Since close-cousins already share relatives, their marriage connects those who already have a natural affinity for each other. A non-consanguinous marriage creates a similar affinity for a stranger, and is more consistent with human flourishing. Moreover, it guards against those extreme clan loyalties which are fatal to disinterested republican government.
If we base current anti-incest laws soley on the potential for genetic abnormalities in children, we're already defending a weak position--most states already don't outlaw marriages between two people who both carry a fatal gene.
Of course, our society is so decadent that only "health threats" are believed to be rational grounds for justifying the regulation of vicious behavior. Unless that attitude can be changed, we're in for many more "taboo-breaking" judicial rulings.
If God is ok with cousin marriage (which is he is, see Leviticus), who are you to object to it?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.