Happy Valentine's Day John Kerry! (Post Your Kerry Valentine's Day Poems Here)

Self | Valentine's Day | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

It looks like my nomination is in the Bag,
And I promise you I'll dump my Rich Hag.
Despite what you hear about me being a Louse,
I promise to make you mistress of my White House.

[PJ-Comix]

Okay, I led off with my romantic John Kerry Valentine's Day poem. Now it's your turn so post your Kerry Valentine's Day poems here.

[Bush Cheney]

Roses are Red and so is ketchup

So what's this about an intern?

Your campaign was going smoothly and then it was this we had to learn.

Now I just wish you would burn.

[Luis Gonzalez]

Roses are red,
and violets are blue
And you Mr Kerry, are a scumbag Democrat, lying, marital-cheating, Hanoi-Jane wannabe, Herman Munster-faced, excuse for a human being.

[Luis Gonzalez]

Man!

I was going for Haiku, but my muse got out of control.

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

(I posted this earlier today on another thread, but it is close to being on point, so I thought I'd share it)

Here's my little song parody, to the tune of "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" (Rated R for minor vulgarity, some nudity, and a wardrobe malfunction)

John Kerry’s in a pickle
If Terry maims his dick, I’ll
Laugh cause it’s so much fun

Though he may be a hero
His morals are a zero
New from Heinz: Terry’s pickle gun

With a gu-un
With a gu-un
She can shoot off his schwantz with a gun

Though Terry is loaded
She’s getting old and bloated
And poor John thinks that she’s no fun

So this horse-faced old hippie
Has found himself a chippy
But he’d better watch Terry’s gun

With a gu-un
With a gu-un
She can shoot off his schwantz with a gun

He acts just like Bubba
A fondler and a rubber
But his campaign has come undone

That’s his number two worry
Number one—he’d better hurry
Before Terry whips out her gun

With a gu-un
With a gu-un
She can shoot off his schwantz with a gun

He calls Bush a liar
To try to squelch the fire
But it’s Kerry who’s on the run

Better beg to his honey
"Please don’t cut my balls or money"
And don’t shoot off my schwantz with a gun

[Eastbound]

May the waves carry
This note in a bottle
'Cross the sea to the one
I may have to throttle

Burma Shave

Ooops! I meant Happy Valentine's Day.

[Lexington Green]

Hanoi John - Hanoi John
The Benedict Arnold of Vietnam

[E=MC²]

Alex:

I served in Vietnam,
I'm hot, hot, hot damn,
I served in Vietnam,
Oh, please stay on the lam.

JFK

(P.S. - did I say I served in Vietnam?)

[mrsmith]

"John F'n Kerry, What's Got Into You?"

...A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer in a desk by a naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office pool

We see in the back
Of the city hall mind
The dream of a girl ...

His wife’s attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
Baby baby...
Baby baby...

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She bites his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old city hall fred
She’s nasty, she’s nasty
She digs it in bed!

(A Valentine poem to John F'n Kerry with regards to Frank 'Brown Shoes Don't Make it' Zappa)

[lonevoice]

ROFL!!

[VadeRetro]

Unscrupulous John Effin' Kerry
Would hanker for interns unwary.
Around them he hovered,
While presstitutes covered.
The "New JFK" was quite scary!

[Terry Mross]

Dear John,

I know you can't be my Valentine while you're running for president. But will you promise not to have me killed if I write a letter addressed to Whom It May Concern and deny you had sex with me even though I had sex with you?

Love,

Your Generic Mistress

[PJ-Comix]

My Rich Hag Whom I love so Much,
For you I would live in a hillside Hutch,
'Cause it is preferable for you to be a Hobbit,
Rather than turn into a Lorena Bobbitt!

[Theresawithanh]

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Can't claim to be the author of this, tho, I got it in an E-mail from a friend of mine, but it fits perfectly!

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
What's the dripping
Off your face like dew?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Common Tator]

What does it take to get a half a billionaire woman to marry you?

Kennedy had Girl Toys ... Clinton had Girl Toys. Kerry is a Boy Toy.

Kerry's ego demanded he have some young bimbos...

It is not who wears the pants in a family.. .it is who wears the wallet.

[KC_Conspirator]

I'll start off:

There once was a senator from Nantucket..

Feel free to add any words that involve interns and rhyme with Nantucket.

[Wild Irish Rogue]

How about an actual John Kerry poem,written by The Sleazeball himself ? Maybe this is how he woos the ladies.Or it may be a love poem Kerry wrote to a deer.

Washington Post, June 1,2003
"Kerry will occasionally write poems like the one he reluctantly read to a reporter"

"I had a talk with a deer today
We met upon the road some way...
He asked me if I sought his pelt
Cause if I did
He said he felt
Quite out of sorts"

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
To your lead,
You'll bid adieu.

[SAMWolf]

To Teresa Heinz, from Hillary Clinton:

Your husband's a schmo, my husband's a ho.
Let's ditch them both and give it a go.