DFU SONG: The Twelfth of Never (a challenge to Mrs. Heinz Kerry)

DFU SONG PARODIES | 2-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Valley/2705/jukebox.html

MIDI - THE TWELFTH OF NEVER (about half way down on the left)

You say that you will maim him if he is caught
You say you're no man's lapdog...that's what your dad taught
You say he's in big trouble if he should cheat
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?

What to do? What are you to do?
Put up or shut up or we will be mocking you

You say he'd better not bring home some disease
You say you can't imagine a blonde on her knees
You say he's in big trouble if he should cheat
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?

You say that you have changed him...he's your honey
You say that he's not after all of your money
You say he's in big trouble if he should cheat
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?

What to do? What are you to do?
Put up or shut up or we will be mocking you

You say a man will never make you a fool
You say that you would know what to do to his tool
You say he's in big trouble if he should cheat
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?
Teresa, we are watching...do those words have some meat?

[doug from upland]

Who thinks this should be sent to her? She is the one who used the word "maim." Let's see if she means what she says or she is a lapdog for another of those DemocRAT scumbags

[counterpunch]

[Republic Rocker]

OUCH!

[doug from upland]

Very excellent.

[Meredith]

After Drudge's big lead up on Kerry, now there's nothing, or so it seems. Who's still working in the background on this story to uncover this sleazeball?

[doug from upland]

On the subject of marital fidelity, she said: 'I used to say to my husband, my late husband, "If you ever get something, I'll maim you. I won't kill you. I'll maim you".'

[doug from upland]

Reporters are working on it feverishly.

[thesummerwind]

Maybe off base, doug. Wasn't dear Teresa quoted saying this about her first husband, John Heinz? Maybe I'm wrong.

[Meredith]

FREEP this poll: Last night, O'Reilley said he wasn't going to talk "about the rumor" that's on the internet, but he has a new poll asking if "Marital Infidelity" should be an issue in political campaigns.

[thesummerwind]

On the subject of marital fidelity, she said: 'I used to say to my husband, my late husband, "If you ever get something, I'll maim you. I won't kill you. I'll maim you".'

FIRST HUSBAND!

With Kerry, perhaps she'd do worse.

[thesummerwind]

This is pretty lame, doug.

[Meredith]

If she can. Theresa Heinz seems so drugged up on something I doubt if she could carry out her threat. Think the reason she's likely on heavy doses of anti-depressants because she's known about this all along?

[doug from upland]

Thanks for the comment. You can be sure I will give it the consideration it deserves.

[doug from upland]

She said it about her first husband. I used writer's license to presume she would do it to any husband who cheated on her.

[doug from upland]

Ping

[thesummerwind]

I'm curious, are you familiar with where she made that comment and when she said it? I knew Teresa and John Heinz quite well back when they were married here in Pittsburgh, I was always under the impression she was joking over cocktails.

[doug from upland]

You tell me after you do the research. My research would be a lame effort.

[thesummerwind]

My research would be a lame effort.

She said it an an ELLE magazine interview in 2003. She was telling a reporter about what she used to say to her first husband, John Heinz. Then later, when asked about the comment, she said, (paraphrase) "I guess I have learned not to joke anymore".

Hey, buddy I was just kidding you. ;)

Peace, and good luck with the H. project.

[doug from upland]

Thanks. I was just giving it back to you a little bit in good fun. FReegards. Teresa is going to have to live with those words, however. Imagine one of the woman's wealthiest women putting up with a sleazeball filandering husband.