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A return to submissive wives?
Boston.com ^ | 2 February 2004 | Cathy Young

Posted on 02/02/2004 4:27:19 AM PST by shrinkermd

QUITE A FEW people would probably rail against Laura Schlessinger, the radio pop psychologist known for her diatribes against abortion, working mothers, and gay rights, even if she said that you should be kind to animals and brush your teeth regularly. When "Dr. Laura" writes a book which pins most of the blame for modern marital problems on selfish, overly demanding women, that's bound to ruffle feathers.

(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: blame; bookreview; drlaura; game; marriage; propercare; schlessinger; submission; theroleofawife; wives
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To: CajunConservative
Of course I hope he meets the right girl, but if God couldn't find ten good men in Sodom I doubt good people have much of a chance of running into each other. And it's hard for a guy to tell if he is being fooled when a gal is putting her best face forward. I advise him to look at her room or when he is grown and dating, her apartment, is her car trashed on the inside.

I ask him to ask himself if he would trust her with the most precious people he will ever love, his own children. I work with some very nice, and very heartbroken guys at work that are going through hades at the moment. One called me night before last and said he was going to have to quit and move out of state to get away from the, "What have you done for me lately, well that's not enough" maniac he's married to. I talked him down but good grief I see where he is coming from and don't know how he has stood it this long.
141 posted on 02/02/2004 5:21:28 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: MissAmericanPie
And it's hard for a guy to tell if he is being fooled when a gal is putting her best face forward. I advise him to look at her room or when he is grown and dating, her apartment, is her car trashed on the inside.

My gosh...so the most important thing is that she be a neat nut?

I know you're partly just using that as an example...but both of your posts mostly talking about neatness...some of us struggle with this daily, but are still good people, ya know! Being hypersensitive 'cause that's probably my biggest fault. I wouldn't call my place "trashed", but I'm a better cook than I am a house cleaner.

142 posted on 02/02/2004 5:35:27 PM PST by RosieCotton
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To: RosieCotton
No it's not just the neat issue, although filth or mess can make me physically ill. Let me give you an example, using one guy I work with.

He marries a girl that has already has a son. He tells her she only has to work if she wants to, she chooses not to work. He buys them a home, furnishes it, she trashes it. It has to be so defeating for a man to work hard to build something, only to have some slob treat it as if it were nothing. If he wants clean clothes, he has to wash them, if he wants food he has to cook it or buy fast food or take her out to eat.

She complains that housework is drudgery, she wants a maid three days a week. He's no millionaire, he gets job number two and hires a maid. Is she happy? No because he comes home and takes a nap between jobs now he's ignoring her and not paying enough attention to her, they never get to party during the week.

She gets pregnant, suddenly she wants a career as a cosmotologist, he has to pay for the schooling, the maid, and the standard of living. She has the baby and tells him that she has "done the mother thing and really isn't into mothering so he needs to take over the major part of the care of the child since she is ready to launch her new career".

Now of course she needs him to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of equipment, supplies, and product, "her own personal product" with her profile on the label, not to mention rent for space to start her business. He takes out a loan, now he's paying for the maid, the career, the baby sitter, and the standard of living.

Time passes, she isn't making a dime, at least not a dime she is going to tell him about. One day he's messing around on her computer because his is on the blink and low and behold, boyfriends, pictures of her and them, love letters, he gets to looking around and gee, credit cards they have given her to help her out because of the monster she is married to that isn't taking proper care of her. He leaves, she draws him back in several times, of course during the seperation she has moved another guy in, now he has moved out but his stuff is still in the closet and the garage. And she can't understand the outrage that the guy drops by now and then.

And that doesn't even cover half of what this guy has been through, giving her money to make the house payment only to be told she didn't make the house payment now needs more money plus the late fee or she will lose the house, etc.

Now do you get it? These women are demons from hell itself.

143 posted on 02/02/2004 6:02:52 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: KantianBurke
Only the nutty and the romantically immature think about marrying in this day and age.

... I think that the women that this society has produced are probably the most unsuitable for marriage. Men as well as women need to be taught by their elders the skills and temperments that make a good marriage. For the past 30 years precisely the opposite lessons of have been taught. End result? You have Paris Hiltons and Britney Spears alongside with the usual littany of angry feminists.

Kantian, I considered trying to change your mind on this, but I think maybe you have got more emotional baggage than any one girl deserves.... You aren't good for marriage either in your present form!

I hope the future brings you love.

144 posted on 02/02/2004 6:05:16 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: MissAmericanPie
is her car trashed on the inside.

A friend of mine said that when someone came by to check out a place they were renting out, she always went out and checked their car. If it was all dirty and trashed up, she wouldn't rent her place to them cause they likely wouldn't keep it clean.

145 posted on 02/02/2004 6:11:22 PM PST by SuziQ
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To: HairOfTheDog
Right.

Him you won't argue with.

Dan
/c8

146 posted on 02/02/2004 6:12:28 PM PST by BibChr ("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
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To: BibChr
ROTFL! Dangit Dan!
147 posted on 02/02/2004 6:13:30 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: SuziQ
She's smart and right about that.
148 posted on 02/02/2004 6:13:48 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: Woahhs
"So you see, your misunderstanding of "hypocrisy" comes from an obvious ignorance of it's correct application. "


Well, your misunderstanding of the usage of the word 'its' in the above sentence just discredited your entire post.

For the record, your usage of 'it's' is the contractual "It is" definition, which is clearly out of place in the above. You should've used your own pocket dictionary, which would've indicated the correct version to use would be the possessive form "its". I paid no attention to the rest of your post, as the incorrect usage of "it's" detracted from whatever the hell you were attempting -- and failing -- to say.
149 posted on 02/02/2004 6:24:48 PM PST by Blzbba
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To: MissAmericanPie
Not every woman is like that. If you find a woman in a bar then you will end up with a bar maid. She already had a child, so there was at least one red flag as to what type of girl this was. I am not saying all girls with children are poor choices, it depends on the circumstances. It does matter where you find your mate.

My niece for example is 23, a beautiful girl inside and out, has been married to the cutest Ricky Martin look a like who is definitely the head of the house. Those two are truly in love. They both have their heads on straight. He works hard, she just finished cosmetology school and just found out she's expecting a baby. She chose something she enjoyed where she could work from home. They built a house last year because they wanted to invest in their own home instead of pouring it into rent. She keeps the house up, he does the yard. They understand what is necessary to keep things up.

The secret is to start teaching values and building character when they are babies. I am a christian and know of many many families who sacrifice much to make sure that their children are being raised right. They start praying for their children's spouses when they are still young children.

You can always teach someone how to clean a house, it is harder to instill character and integrity. Some people have never been taught how to be organized but there are programs out there that will teach skills.

150 posted on 02/02/2004 6:33:12 PM PST by CajunConservative
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To: CajunConservative
I'm sure you are right, but I have no idea where he met her. I know he is hurting and in a mess, as well as another guy at work. Both are nice, funny, hard working guys. That goes for family and friends going through the same thing and not all of them could possibly have met their disaterous mates in a bar.
151 posted on 02/02/2004 6:36:54 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: MissAmericanPie
Now do you get it? These women are demons from hell itself.

I get it that there are women who are just naturally struggling to stay neat, but are downright lazy - and selfish to boot. I know some women like that.

I also know many, many happily married couples, from all walks of life at all sorts of income levels. And all ages, for that matter. "These women" do exist, but to say that all young women are like that is a lie and a shame.

And I'll say again what I said earlier in the thread - there are problems on BOTH sides. Many young men are not raised to respect women, to be the head of the household, to act like a gentleman - just as many young women are brought up to think only of themselves and to treat men badly. Each sex has a role in a marriage, and they aren't the same. That's a beautiful thing, in my opinion.

152 posted on 02/02/2004 6:41:50 PM PST by RosieCotton
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To: RosieCotton
I get it that there are women who are just naturally struggling to stay neat

Oops...make that NOT just naturally struggling.

Sigh...I should probably get to bed soon. My brain is shutting down.

153 posted on 02/02/2004 6:43:03 PM PST by RosieCotton
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To: Blzbba
Well, your misunderstanding of the usage of the word 'its' in the above sentence just discredited your entire post.

Hardly.

It's a typo, not a misunderstanding, but if your pettiness requires such a quid pro quo...so be it. I'll take destroying your half-witted assertions over grammar kung-fu anytime.

154 posted on 02/02/2004 6:43:19 PM PST by Woahhs
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To: Tax-chick
Congrats- your baby weighs the same as I did at birth many years ago. Post a pic of him OK?
155 posted on 02/02/2004 6:45:58 PM PST by mafree
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To: RosieCotton
What percentage would you put it at? Fifty/fifty bad women to good? If my work place is a microcosim it would have to be 70% bad 30% good.
156 posted on 02/02/2004 7:14:25 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: MissAmericanPie
Getting ready to hit the hay here, so apologies in advance for any spelling errors / typos...

I don't know that I could put a number on it. But even if the ratio was 10 to 1, that still means that there ARE good women out there. And the percentage for men is probably about the same. That means there's still hope! If ten out of a hundred (or even two out of a hundred) young men are fine, upstanding citizens, and ten or two out of a hundred young women are kind, caring, lady-like girls, then it's just a matter of finding one another, right?

I DO think it's far more difficult that it has ever been before. And believe me, there are certainly days when I get very, very discouraged...but then there are sites like this and a few of the religious sites I frequent that give me a lot of hope. Not to mention...many of the young people I know (younger than I am, that is) are more conservative and grounded than many of the people my age. I think it's possible things will turn around - it's obvious that feminism doesn't make for happy families.
157 posted on 02/02/2004 7:22:11 PM PST by RosieCotton
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To: RosieCotton
My gosh...so the most important thing is that she be a neat nut? I know you're partly just using that as an example...but both of your posts mostly talking about neatness...some of us struggle with this daily, but are still good people, ya know! Being hypersensitive 'cause that's probably my biggest fault. I wouldn't call my place "trashed", but I'm a better cook than I am a house cleaner.

I understand what you're saying, but any other suggestions you might have for uncovering duplicity would be helpful. They would be particularly helpful if you keep in mind the person in question is actively trying to misrepresent their true character.

Neatness is one of those things that's too much effort for the truly lazy too fake for long.

158 posted on 02/02/2004 8:33:20 PM PST by Woahhs
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Comment #159 Removed by Moderator

To: HairOfTheDog
Its easier to assume one has some sort of emotional problem rather than have any validity in such a view. How about this - take it as a given that a poster who espouses such a view is nutty - and respond to their comments regardless?

160 posted on 02/03/2004 12:23:03 AM PST by KantianBurke (Principles, not blind loyalty)
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