Grace Kelly.
Posted on 02/01/2004 9:25:57 PM PST by Pokey78
Now, what do all those folks who watch the Super Bowl for the commercials have to say? Wasn't it fun? Especially if the kids were allowed to stay up and watch at least the first half of the game, 'cause that's where the really filthy ones were slotted.
The beer ad with the two dogs was especially cute. A trained dog fetches his master a Bud from the cooler. Beer in hand, the master asks the other fellow what his dog can do. The other fellow's dog obviously bites the first man in the crotch, causing him to toss the beer to the other fellow.
There is the large, jolly African-American man going down a hallway to get a massage, but is lured into a side room full of beer. We see him agonized and screaming in pain as the door closes informing us that he has wandered into the "bikini wax " room by mistake.
They aren't all beer ads, these classics for which we have waited all year. One is a car ad featuring juveniles with bars of soap lodged in their mouths. How this comes about is revealed when a little boy views one of the new cars, mouths the words, "Holy sh--" and is next seen with a bar of soap in his mouth.
There is a chimpanzee, a young man's pet, who puts an arm around the man's girlfriend when the swain has gone for the beer. The primate speaks and suggests they go upstairs, obviously for sex. The swain returns briefly, causing the chimp to withdraw an arm. But the conversation resumes when the swain leaves, the chimp wondering if the intended sex partner has anything against a hairy back.
It isn't all sex. Some is simple scatology. A beautiful wintery scene in the forest. A man and a woman are seated together in a horse-drawn sleigh. The man romantically produces a crystal ball with a lighted candle, then leans to produce some beers from a cooler. At this moment, the gray horse drawing the sleigh lifts its tail high over its back and breaks wind in the woman's face with such force that it blows out the candle and destroys her makeup and hairdo.
The commercial aficionados may have sought relief in a live halftime show featuring P. Diddy and others in a writhing dance accompanied by lyrics that could not be understood in the Western Hemisphere, a combination of rap and rapacity that climaxed when Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake performed a series of gyrations redolent of the chimp commercial and climaxing with Miss Jackson's right breast apparently exposed.
For reasons known only to CBS and the time buyers, the commercials during most of the second half were reasonably tame. There were some appeals to responsibility when drinking, a couple of expensive car ads, some inoffensives for AOL, but no further plays on bestiality, flatulence or painful depilatory episodes. Too bad, for by now the kiddies were in bed. The rectitude of the network had spared them and their elders the pain of watching a commercial with political overtones, the CBS practices regime rejecting such a crass offering.
It is said that the New England Patriots won the game with the Carolina Panthers in the last minute or so, but not by the point spread. Speaking of "spread," did you hear the one about... Sorry. Too much television, I guess.
Reid Collins is a former CBS and CNN news correspondent.
Part 2 was no improvement. One of the more humdrum, seemingly mild-mannered advertisements, came from a pharmaceutical firm promoting the newest weapon for erectile disfunction. My jaw dropped, while my 17 year old teen daughter took it in stride. Possible side effects included a 4 hour erection ...! Parents of younger children must have had an interesting evening, explaining these ads to their kids.
Priceless. Sums it all up.
Missed all the other garbage, BTW that 9 seconds was the totality of my football season.
Pitchers and catchers report in 4 days 1st cub spring training game 4 march.
Thanks........Stay Safe !
A custom chopper is due to be delivered in a week. The artistic son wastes time on detailing the bike which sends Pa Tuttle into a rage about every five of the show. Pa Tuttle emerges from his offices, screams, rants, and raves for a while, then goes back into his office to sleep some more. Tuttle son number two is comic relief, he tries to joke with Pa Tuttle to calm him down. After about about ten blind rages by Pa Tuttle over delayed parts and slow sons the bike is ready and the show concludes with them delivering it to a high profile client amidst cheering crowds.
Anytime before parity.
Don't tell me CBS didn't know what they were going to do at halftime, the dirty commericals just added to the general sleezy atmosphere.
Jeez, now you can't even let your kids watch the superbowl! Another American institution flushed down the toilet by the scum that control Hollywood and the music industry.
This gives even more ammunition to the radical Muslims, proving to the world how decadent and perverted the west is.
I thought CBS said they weren't going to run that commercial. It figures.
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