KIDS ASK DOUG FROM UPLAND - No. 5

ask DFU series | 1-7-04 | dfu

[doug from upland]

No. 1
No. 2
No. 3
No. 4

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Dear Doug from Upland:

My friend's mom, who lives down the street and has an SUV with an I HATE BUSH bumper sticker, has been trying to tell me that President Bush is just like a Nazi. She says that he is invading countries, killing people, and wants to take over the world.

She also says that, like Hitler, Bush is using war to take our minds off the worst economy in 75 years. I think she might be right. Is Bush a Nazi?

Cassandra, age 11, Madison, Wisconsin

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Dear Cassandra:

Thank you for writing. If brains were gasoline, your friend's mom could not back that SUV out of the driveway. She obviously has no clue about the Third Reich and the over 6 million deaths for which Hitler is responsible. Hitler invaded countries that were no threat to him. He wanted to conquer them. He wanted all Jews dead as a part of Germany's "final solution."

Yes, our president has authorized the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq. They posed a threat to our nation, and the president has taken seriously his oath to defend the United States. The last president did not take that oath seriously. He spent his time staining dresses and lying. He let Osama bin Laden get away several times. Bin Laden is the guy who is most responsible for the killing of over 3,000 Americans in the worst terror attack ever on this nation.

When our president smokes out all the bad guys, Afghanistan and Iraq will have their own constitution, and the people will be able to vote for whom they want to lead their country. President Bush does not want to conquer them. He wants to free them. We are not deliberately killing innocent people and are not torturing people.

It is a shame that some people are too busy watching Jerry Springer and have no time to actually read history. They are the kind of people who put foolish bumper stickers on their SUVs. They are the kind who believe all that they hear from Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather. They are the kind of people who would be appalled if I actually had the opportunity to b*tch slap Katie Couric live on the Today Show.

Keep this in mind. The political left is doing great damage to this nation during time of war. They care more about their agenda than they do about the good of the country. Many of them want to see many more of our brave soldiers die because they feel it would hurt the popularity of our president. They are heartless, evil, mean SOBs. Many of them also have a wretched smell. You will know what I mean if you ever go to one of their peace rallies.

Keep paying attention. You will learn why the DemocRATS should never be trusted with national security.

[doug from upland]

Per your request.

[Support Free Republic]

Hey, I don't mean to be nosey...

... but I'd really like some bacon,
or some help for FR.

[GeronL]

She obviously has no clue about the Third Reich and the over 6 million deaths for which Hitler is responsible

There were 6 million jews killed in the death camps and 6 million others too, plus all those who died elsewhere and in the war... he was responsible for more than 20 M...

[Mad Dawgg]

Dear doug from upland,

My Doctor told me that Tom Daschle needs to see a Proctologist and schedule a complete Headectomy stat.

What does he mean by this?

Mad Dawgg

[Joee]

It's obvious that the lady has been in the cooking sherry again. When they released her from her last trip to the "funny farm" she was instructed as to the need for her to take her medication. Again, she has failed those simple direction. Nothing to do other than pity her till the "white coats" come and get her.

[jigsaw]

If brains were gasoline, your friend's mom could not back that SUV out of the driveway.

LOL!   More like doug from comedy central.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful wit!

[Grassontop]

Doug, just lurking and but couldn't help notice this youngsters letter! Is this a for real letter? And if it is, the mother is pretty nutty, if I do say so myself! Grassontop

[San Jacinto]

Dear Doug from Upland,

I was watching the movie Old Yeller recently and noticed that Old Yeller was a very friendly and loyal dog who was nice to be around. Then he turned mean and nasty. He foamed at the mouth, growled ferociously, and tried to bite those who fed him. This caused me to wonder--
Was there ever a time when Howard Dean was nice and then turned mean and nasty like Old Yeller did, or has he always been that way?

Just curious,

San Jacinto

[doug from upland]

Nope, this are fake letters. Just doing my best to stick it to the left at every opportunity.

[doug from upland]

Yes, I should have been specific -- 6 million Jews as part of the Final Solution. 20 million overall, however, is far too many.

[Billthedrill]

Dear Mister Upland,

I have a neighbor who is an older man and he is very friendly, but sometimes he sticks his hands where they don't belong and he drools a lot too. Should I have my Mom tell Mr. Clinton to bugger off?

Suzy (age 8)

[doug from upland]

I have seen a baby picture of Howard Dean foaming at the mouth. I am almost certain it wasn't from breast milk.

[doug from upland]

Are you sure it isn't Mrs. Clinton? Does the creature have a screeching voice that causes your dog to run from the room when it is heard on the radio?

[Behind Liberal Lines]

I would have sworn I saw that same SUV in Ithaca, the City of Evil ;-)

[doug from upland]

Ithaca, City of Evil song --- CLICK.

[Billthedrill]

Dere Mister Upland,

Thank you for answering my letter. Im typing this while my Uncle Bill cleans his guns cuz he says Im too young to surf for porn like he does. I think it was Mr. Clinton cuz he has cold hands and he says cold hands warm heart not like that cold-hearted pitch. I dont understand that Mister Upland does Missus Clinton play baseball?

yur friend
Suzy

[No Fool]

Dear Doug, When my mommy watches the Sunday morning political shows, I am astounded at how the Democrats all say the exact same things over and over (even on different shows!!!)--almost like they can all read each others' minds. It's like a STAR TREK Borg episode, when they have all been "assimilated" and they think the exact same thoughts! This is just so amazing to me! Do people become psychic when they join the democratic party?

[Behind Liberal Lines]

Do people become psychic when they join the democratic party?

That might explain why the only crime they oppose is thought crime. ;-)

[SamKeck]

Dear Doug:

Last night I dreamed that I was at a gas station filling up my SUV. When I went inside to pay the tab, the station attendant who took my credit card was Arnold Schwartznegger. After he rang up my bill, he wouldn't give my card back to me, because he told me that I had to fill up Herb Wesson's car's tank too. Should I vote "yes" on Arnold's proposed $15 Billion bond issue?

Sam