It sounds to me like you have the answer to your dilemma at your fingertips, but you're looking in the wrong place. What is God telling you about this marriage? Do you feel that the marriage is part of His plan for your life? If so, I would say that your answer is to throw yourself into it wholeheartedly, trusting God to work out the details in His own time. If, on the other hand, you feel that the marriage is not a part of His plan for you, then nothing your or your husband do is ever going to make it feel right. Rather than fretting over whether or not you can trust your husband, take your guidance from the One you can trust......everything else will fall into place.
BINGO! Another freeper hits the nail on the head. I'm having a very difficult time trusting God again. It's a long story, but my faith went through the wringer during this whole thing. It's almost like it's not just about my marriage, but a battle for my soul. I pray every night to stand firm in my faith. One thing for sure, if I get through this standing, I will have great compassion for others when they are standing on shifting sand. 8 * )