Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'

WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | Dr. Laura Schlessinger

[HungarianGypsy]

I remember a similar book written a few decades ago called Fascinating Womanhood .

[Quix]

I've heard her a bit harsh at times.

HOWEVER, PEOPLE ARE PRETTY RESISTENT TO CHANGE and pretty resilient. Even the pathetic mangled souls are usually very tenaciously that way in at least a few ways.

Sometimes it takes some jarring comments to jerk people out of their deadly ruts.

Life is a risk. Any kind of advice to anyone based on any foundation--even The Bible--can be very risky.

I think on the whole, she does a good job. I'd rather be offended and jarred out of my deadly rut than left there out of 'niceness.'

[Quix]

HOW'S HER SELF-ESTEEM?

How were her attachment years 1-8 years old?

How's her confidence and self-image?


Then there's the whole hormonal thing and just the idiosyncratic differences between individuals.


AND, HOW'S THAT SET OF THINGS WHICH *SHE* DEFINES AS LOVING AND BEING LOVED?

And how are your NONsexual massage skills???

[Quix]

Loved em.

Thanks.

[Quix]

If I remember right . . . one needs to insure that after an interaction . . . something like 5 out of 7 interactions need to be remembered as being a net positive; leaving a positive after taste in the memory of them.

Otherwise, the prognosis is not so good.

I should look that statistic up.

[Quix]

Awesome wisdom and maturity.

And personal strength.

Congratulations.

[SCalGal]

My ex-husband's behaviours could be classified as both destructive and dangerous ...

We might have the same ex...

[Quix]

Do you give lessons?

I can think of a long list of people who'd profit from them!

[SCalGal]

One thing I learned in Narcotics Anonymous is that I cannot fix other people.

And it annoys them when you try.

[Quix]

People can be overly paranoid about the word manipulation.

Every interchance could be construed as a manipulation to get more of what we want at the least cost to us.

---

One standard treatment of such things is to forbid sexual relations for X weeks . . . even XX weeks. To structure a series of interactions which are designed to increase the focus on the other person; the focus on sensations etc.

Toward the end of the time, massage sessions are scheduled wherein the two are FORBIDDEN to let the massage develop into sexual relations.

The object is to focus on PLEASURING the other person with 0.00% demand or even expectation of a return.

If done well, the other person who's typically known as the withholder, will eventually get her buckets more filled and begin to playfully respond. If the husband plays it right, he will pleasure her well enough with NON SEDUCTIVE massage that she will begin to ascribe to the sensations sexual overtones and respond accordingly.

But the husband must AUTHENTICALLY surrender his expectations and determine to pleasure the wife, please her, focus on her etc.

[Quix]

I beg your pardon!

I've seen plenty foaming-at-the-mouth Roman's and a lot of other persuasions, too!

Besides, rolling in the asiles and hanging from the chandeliers can be fun.

[Quix]

I can understand.

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary ooooowies.

[Quix]

Great points.

[Eaker]

They are exceedingly tender and vulnerable in terms of their egos--especially in terms of their masculinity, potency, virility etc.

Nailed it!

The only person that can really hurt me is my wife of 18 years. Her opinion of me really matters.

I don't really care what others think.

[Quix]

understood by our intentions vs actions.

that's pretty HUMAN.

[des]

Heard something funny on the weather today, "It's 18 degrees--that'll put some flannel on you metrosexuals."

[Quix]

GREAT WISDOM THERE!

[Quix]

HUG, not talk, LISTEN

AND RUB (NOT pat).

Patting too easily communicates--OK, ALREADY, SHAPE UP SO I CAN QUIT THIS AND DO SOMETHING ELSE!

[Quix]

What's the difference between

LEERING

and

LOOKING LONGINGLY TOWARD WITH DEVOTED RAPTURE INTENT ON FILLING AND FULFILLING TO THE MAX AS WELL AS BEING FILLED TO THE MAX WITH?

[Quix]

GREAT COMMENTS.