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Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'
WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Posted on 01/06/2004 12:06:06 AM PST by JohnHuang2

'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'

Posted: January 6, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

Why did you write this book aiming at the women – aren't both responsible for the quality of the marriage?

Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently results in a happier husband who will "swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade."

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently – which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.

What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?

What are husbands' most important needs?

What is the No. 1 worst mistake women make with respect to being happy in their marriages?

They marinate in negatives. It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc. Women, more typically than men, will go over it ad infinitum in the own heads, with their mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social groups (remember Jerry McGuire?) – in doing so they reinforce the negative and create a bad attitude – one which turns into entitlement for not being particularly nice.

Attitude is about believing that your mate has your best interests at heart – it is about not letting loving feelings be squelched by everyday annoyances and disappointments; it is about benefit of the doubt; it is about cherishing the moments and living for the well-being of the other and being sustained by the joy of giving and the blessing of receiving in return.

All through the book you say "men are simple" ... isn't that an insult?

Not at all! In fact, most all of the many hundreds of responses I received from men in preparing this book confirmed just that: "Men are only interested in two things: If I'm not horny, make me a sandwich," and "As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."

What about sex? Are wives obligated to give their husbands sex on demand?

As a woman who happens to believe that orgasms are a fabulous gift and blessing from God, I am amazed at how many women callers are willing to give them up to the gods of "I'm tired," or "I'm annoyed." Now, anyone cannot be in the mood from time to time – that's natural. However, the denigration of male sexual needs (They are just animals) and the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted) and inappropriate prioritizing (My work and children take all my energy) are self-centered and self-defeating.

I ask my women callers who complain that their husbands are not happy with virtually no sexual intimacy (and, by the way, that's what the men truly feel about sex with their wives – it's the ultimate in "acceptance and approval" for them) if they would be satisfied with that profound a rejection and dismissal. They always say, "No, I guess not." Frankly, too many women treat their husbands as accessories instead of priorities.

Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?

Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.

However, these ideas and techniques have salvaged and revitalized innumerable strained, stagnant, boring, disappointing, annoying, frustrating and even seemingly dead marriages. When I nag a woman caller to try just one simple behavior for one day, I inevitably get the call back that they are amazed at the difference a day made.

Are you going to write the book for men on the proper care and feeding of wives?

Nope. Men are born of women and between girlfriends and then a wife; men spend their entire lives in the tutelage of women. What women accept or reject is largely the guiding force for what men will and won't do. When they are treated with the Three A's, they naturally, and in gratitude and affection, give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want.

The ideas and techniques in this book are simple and sweet. What a blessing for women to know that they largely control their own happiness! My job is to get their prejudices and bad attitudes out of their own way. Transforming your guy into a loving man is its own reward.





TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bookreview; drlaura; propercare
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To: MEGoody
If the guy is decent at heart, he will.

Sure, he can be decent, but can just suck up all the attention, affection, affirmation and still be emotionally lazy, because of "momma" issues. My only point is that Dr. Laura is being a bit disingenous to make such a blanket statement that men don't need a book. I love men, and believe me, they need a book, too.

We all need a book, a mentor, a friend who'll tell us the truth.

221 posted on 01/06/2004 1:49:59 PM PST by January24th
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To: chris1
I am what you might call a 100% male

I think my left big toe is female.

222 posted on 01/06/2004 1:50:17 PM PST by Land of the Free 04
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To: Dan from Michigan
We got a spiked collar for Thor.

I miss Thor so very very much.

223 posted on 01/06/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz is fond of deadly steel blades and wears the skins of ferocious british animals.)
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To: Woahhs
Well, I can only speak for myself. Most people who know me wouldn't guess that someone so strong can be so emotional. Many view 'emotional' as a bad thing. But it really isn't. Emotions are the basis for compassion, nurturing, loving, and feeling. It's why we mostly turn to our mothers in times of comfort. Honestly, how many men out there look for spouses who share traits with their moms? That's not saying a man can't have some or all of those qualities too. I happen to think President Bush does this quite nicely.

Now on the other hand, I know of lots of women who sometimes feel, 'If I'm not horny, fix me a sandwich'. ;) Not sure if that answers your question.

224 posted on 01/06/2004 1:51:28 PM PST by rintense
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To: Dan from Michigan

,,, I used to own a dog and it's spiked collar. My new AK-47 changed all that.

225 posted on 01/06/2004 1:52:48 PM PST by shaggy eel
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To: January24th
I love men, and believe me, they need a book, too.

I agree---but I think men have heard a lot more about what they should do for their women (tell her you love her, tell her she's pretty, do your share of the housework, bring her flowers every now and again, ...) than women have heard about what they should do for their men.

226 posted on 01/06/2004 1:52:55 PM PST by Land of the Free 04
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To: technochick99
Becaue sex is such an intimate thing between men and women, the rejection thing goes a lot deeper. Its not like a man would feel the same way if his spouse or girlfriend did not want to go see Master & Commander with him. He would understand, but with sex and physical affections, everyone wants to feel that their signigifant other wants to share with them the most intimiate expression of those feelings. Otherwise, the man could have the guys over to help out with those other things such as the kids and garbage.
227 posted on 01/06/2004 1:52:59 PM PST by chris1
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To: Darksheare; dix; TexasCowboy; humblegunner; antivenom; bobbyd; eastforker; Flyer; Humidston; ...
I have numerous FReepers over to my home and I believe that every single one has been bitten at lease once!!!

Phudd's brother weighs in at about 13~14 pounds!


Here is him working out!!

228 posted on 01/06/2004 1:54:06 PM PST by Eaker (Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. - Lazarus Long)
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To: JohnHuang2
This interview proves what I've always thought about her:

She is a man-hater, pure and simple. Haven't listened to her in years.

229 posted on 01/06/2004 1:54:19 PM PST by leadpenny
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To: chris1
Last spring, I attended a golf outing where Gov. Jennifer Grandholm's husband was the guest speaker. He spoke of role reversal and how women have become more like men, and men are becoming more like women. I listened, and after nearly laughing based on his life experience with Jennifer, he said something that really resonated with me. He said (I think he got this from some book): 'To not be needed is a slow death for a man.' That really had a profound impact on me.
230 posted on 01/06/2004 1:54:36 PM PST by rintense
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To: Land of the Free 04
100% Correct. Its a lot pressure for a guy, especially when it seems that the whole dynamic is centered around HER contentment and yours is treated like it is somemething bad or not as important.
231 posted on 01/06/2004 1:56:04 PM PST by chris1
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To: MEGoody
I was being humorous...
232 posted on 01/06/2004 1:56:51 PM PST by GeronL (Ah daunt yous spiel cheekier ether)
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To: Land of the Free 04
but I think men have heard a lot more about what they should do for their women

No argument from me on that one! And women really DO need to hear what Dr. L is saying. I can't believe how some women treat their husbands. I overheard one in a restaurant the other evening, just berating the guy that was with her. Noticing that there was no ring on his hand, I wanted to stroll by and casually whisper to him, "RUN!!"

233 posted on 01/06/2004 1:57:03 PM PST by January24th
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To: January24th
No you should have shouted "FFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRREEEEE" GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
234 posted on 01/06/2004 1:58:14 PM PST by chris1
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To: Hildy
I was trying to be funny.... gee...
235 posted on 01/06/2004 1:58:29 PM PST by GeronL (Ah daunt yous spiel cheekier ether)
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To: chris1
She is right in some respects, the almost instant feeling of rejection is very hurtful to a man, regardless of the reason she does not want to have sex.

Yeah. Call me old fashioned, but I want to know someone's mind, heart and soul (and for them to know me the same) before we share our bodies. Unfortunately, not very many men respect that anymore. Well, the ones that do are already taken. :)

236 posted on 01/06/2004 1:59:27 PM PST by rintense
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To: Quix
GEEZ... I thought it was obvious I was kidding... I should have added '/sarcasm'
237 posted on 01/06/2004 1:59:47 PM PST by GeronL (Ah daunt yous spiel cheekier ether)
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To: leadpenny
She is a man-hater

That's nuts---I'm a man and I think what she says is pretty much on the money (a little too pro-man, in fact, where she says that men who get the three As naturally treat their women right).

238 posted on 01/06/2004 1:59:51 PM PST by Land of the Free 04
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To: goldstategop
It started in the late sixties with the feminist movement. Their approach, from the beginning, was to convince women that they were being used by men and to generate resentment and anger. They have succeeded and today's young women have been raised and trained by angery women of the sixties who have been isolated from their own happiness by the manipulative feminists.

Great job!

239 posted on 01/06/2004 2:00:11 PM PST by Redleg Duke (Stir the pot...don't let anything settle to the bottom where the lawyers can feed off of it!)
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To: chris1
100% Correct. Its a lot pressure for a guy, especially when it seems that the whole dynamic is centered around HER contentment and yours is treated like it is somemething bad or not as important.

Hello.

240 posted on 01/06/2004 2:00:21 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz is fond of deadly steel blades and wears the skins of ferocious british animals.)
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