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Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'
WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Posted on 01/06/2004 12:06:06 AM PST by JohnHuang2

'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'

Posted: January 6, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

Why did you write this book aiming at the women – aren't both responsible for the quality of the marriage?

Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently results in a happier husband who will "swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade."

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently – which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.

What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?

What are husbands' most important needs?

What is the No. 1 worst mistake women make with respect to being happy in their marriages?

They marinate in negatives. It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc. Women, more typically than men, will go over it ad infinitum in the own heads, with their mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social groups (remember Jerry McGuire?) – in doing so they reinforce the negative and create a bad attitude – one which turns into entitlement for not being particularly nice.

Attitude is about believing that your mate has your best interests at heart – it is about not letting loving feelings be squelched by everyday annoyances and disappointments; it is about benefit of the doubt; it is about cherishing the moments and living for the well-being of the other and being sustained by the joy of giving and the blessing of receiving in return.

All through the book you say "men are simple" ... isn't that an insult?

Not at all! In fact, most all of the many hundreds of responses I received from men in preparing this book confirmed just that: "Men are only interested in two things: If I'm not horny, make me a sandwich," and "As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."

What about sex? Are wives obligated to give their husbands sex on demand?

As a woman who happens to believe that orgasms are a fabulous gift and blessing from God, I am amazed at how many women callers are willing to give them up to the gods of "I'm tired," or "I'm annoyed." Now, anyone cannot be in the mood from time to time – that's natural. However, the denigration of male sexual needs (They are just animals) and the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted) and inappropriate prioritizing (My work and children take all my energy) are self-centered and self-defeating.

I ask my women callers who complain that their husbands are not happy with virtually no sexual intimacy (and, by the way, that's what the men truly feel about sex with their wives – it's the ultimate in "acceptance and approval" for them) if they would be satisfied with that profound a rejection and dismissal. They always say, "No, I guess not." Frankly, too many women treat their husbands as accessories instead of priorities.

Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?

Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.

However, these ideas and techniques have salvaged and revitalized innumerable strained, stagnant, boring, disappointing, annoying, frustrating and even seemingly dead marriages. When I nag a woman caller to try just one simple behavior for one day, I inevitably get the call back that they are amazed at the difference a day made.

Are you going to write the book for men on the proper care and feeding of wives?

Nope. Men are born of women and between girlfriends and then a wife; men spend their entire lives in the tutelage of women. What women accept or reject is largely the guiding force for what men will and won't do. When they are treated with the Three A's, they naturally, and in gratitude and affection, give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want.

The ideas and techniques in this book are simple and sweet. What a blessing for women to know that they largely control their own happiness! My job is to get their prejudices and bad attitudes out of their own way. Transforming your guy into a loving man is its own reward.





TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bookreview; drlaura; propercare
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To: dirtboy
You said it perfectly. And I know people like this, unfortunately. I've always been blessed with the ability to forgive...I really don't hold grudges, even maybe when I should. Hell, life's too short.
141 posted on 01/06/2004 11:54:49 AM PST by Hildy
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To: AppyPappy
Don't worry. When you get older, we stop leering.

I wasn't aware you were homosexual.

142 posted on 01/06/2004 11:56:13 AM PST by hopespringseternal
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To: Lazamataz
What a cute little (terrified) puppy!

Terrified??

That's his "I am going to tear you up game face"!!!!!!

In that pic he weighed about one pound. He is full grown now and is a mind numbing and staggering five pounds!!!

143 posted on 01/06/2004 11:57:02 AM PST by Eaker (Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. - Lazarus Long)
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To: hopespringseternal
Our next-door neighbor was 90 when I was a kid and she started sunbathing nude. I am convinced that is why my brother is gay.
144 posted on 01/06/2004 11:57:14 AM PST by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: JohnHuang2
This book sucks.
145 posted on 01/06/2004 11:58:10 AM PST by Greg Weston
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To: Conspiracy Guy; Lazamataz
I just asked Laz to give it back to you! I just haven't finished reading this thread yet.

And when did Laz actually steal your tagline, CG?

146 posted on 01/06/2004 11:58:10 AM PST by Slip18
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To: WKB; Magnolia; dixiechick2000
Mississippi ping Especially the first three on the list..... dixiechick2000, onyx, Magnolia.

What's this? I do declare, WKB, are you trying to tell us you think "we three belles" need Dr. Laura's happy-husband-handbook? LOL. :)

147 posted on 01/06/2004 12:07:37 PM PST by onyx (Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.)
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To: Lazamataz
I'll take you to court.
148 posted on 01/06/2004 12:13:19 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz stole my tagline. If you see him tell him I want it back. Soon!!)
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To: Quix
I always liked the books by Robert A. Johnson
She Understanding Feminine Psychology
He Understanding Masculine Psychology

I thought they were very good.

149 posted on 01/06/2004 12:13:22 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel
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To: Slip18
Laz is always terrorizing freepers and stealing taglines.
150 posted on 01/06/2004 12:14:56 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Lazamataz stole my tagline. If you see him tell him I want it back. Soon!!)
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To: Conspiracy Guy
Is that what happened to mine?
151 posted on 01/06/2004 12:21:05 PM PST by Slip18
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To: Greg Weston
This book sucks.

Please elaborate.

152 posted on 01/06/2004 12:21:56 PM PST by Land of the Free 04
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To: Lazamataz
Bet you're better at it than you think. Just got a new neighbor last month -- after the pleasantries, she was very quick to bad mouth her hubby -- she had a real potty mouth (It would never occur to me to call Mr. Peel an a$$hole, much less say such crap to a comparative stranger.) Still, my jaw dropped when she told me that she had been married for 35 years!

Two weeks later, she's over for coffee.. badmouthing him again. Every time I've met him, he seems very friendly and sweet. She is so unbelievably bitter its pretty sad.

153 posted on 01/06/2004 12:22:16 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel
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To: katana
This book might be an early birthday purchase for my wife. She's great and I love her, but a little reinforcement about how I want to be "cared for and fed" couldn't hurt.

Oh dude, your dead meat

154 posted on 01/06/2004 12:23:54 PM PST by holdmuhbeer
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To: duckbutt
Before my marriage to hubby, Grandma told me to look the other way if he decides to have affairs. To her, the most important thing is that hubby comes back to me, not the *other* women. I shared this bit of wisdom with him and he spit his beer through his nose. (I'm Filipino and he's English/German.) We've been married 17 years, have 7 children and are happily married (of course, everything's not perfect).

Dr. Laura is right on the money. That's basically how I *handle* my man and he's a pretty danged happy dad and especially ecstatic hubby. ;)

And now, back to my lurker mode.

155 posted on 01/06/2004 12:24:00 PM PST by independentgrrl
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To: Conspiracy Guy
I'll take you to court.

Send Johnnie Cochran. I love his Wookie Defense.

Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a wookie, from the planet Kishik. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. That does not make sense.

Why would a wookie, an 8 foot tall wookie, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.

But more importantly, you must ask yourself: what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, it has nothing to do with this case. Look at me, I'm a lawyer, defending a major record company, and I'm talking about Chewbacca. I am not making any sense. None of this makes any sense.

So, when you're in that jury room debating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, you must ask yourself this question: Does it make sense?

No. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.

156 posted on 01/06/2004 12:24:47 PM PST by Lazamataz (G-d gave us free will. The government took it away.)
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To: onyx; WKB; Magnolia; dixiechick2000
Now ladies, have ya'll had any complaints at home. No? I didn't think so. We belles know how to handle our men.

Ya'll have heard about STEELmagnolias, right? ;-D

157 posted on 01/06/2004 12:30:07 PM PST by Magnolia
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To: Conspiracy Guy
Laz is always terrorizing freepers and stealing taglines.

Shut up or I will take that tagline too.

158 posted on 01/06/2004 12:34:36 PM PST by Lazamataz (This is Conspiracy Guy's tagline. I beat him up and took it,. That's because I can.)
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To: rintense
I think Dr. Laura is advocating Biblical marital behavior, and she isn't the first.
 
00543
 
 
Worked for me.

159 posted on 01/06/2004 12:35:07 PM PST by AnnaZ ("And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God..." ~Romans 8:28a~)
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To: Lazamataz
Quit stealing my taglines you freak.
160 posted on 01/06/2004 12:38:17 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy
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