Send Johnnie Cochran. I love his Wookie Defense.
Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a wookie, from the planet Kishik. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. That does not make sense.
Why would a wookie, an 8 foot tall wookie, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.
But more importantly, you must ask yourself: what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, it has nothing to do with this case. Look at me, I'm a lawyer, defending a major record company, and I'm talking about Chewbacca. I am not making any sense. None of this makes any sense.
So, when you're in that jury room debating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, you must ask yourself this question: Does it make sense?
No. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.